{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "25F parents are pushing for me to get married, create matrimonial profiles, distribute biodatas etc. They say my period to marry and biological clock are running short on time. I really don’t want to rush into this and don’t want to choose someone from a matrimonial site. Every discussion is an argument and screaming match because they don’t want to hear anything else. What do I do?", "post_id": "60696f82ab37a700282333c9", "reply_count": 31, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f8108c753e990016608a0b", "bowl_name": "Desi Consultants", "feed_type": "bowl" }

25F parents are pushing for me to get married, create matrimonial profiles, distribute biodatas etc. They say my period to marry and biological clock are running short on time. I really don’t want to rush into this and don’t want to choose someone from a matrimonial site. Every discussion is an argument and screaming match because they don’t want to hear anything else. What do I do?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Marrying someone from matrimonial site isn’t a bad idea. Bollywood has put this notion in our mind that love marriage is thrilling and arranged one is boring. There are great people out there. Whether you met with them via matrimonial site or somewhere else doesn’t really matter.

Also depending on what you are looking for, it’ll take at least 3 years to find someone and get married. Ask yourself if you’d be ok to get married at 28-29? If so, this is the right time to start the search.

I don’t know your parents but I’m sure they are very loving and supportive and won’t pursue their daughter to get married to someone she doesn’t like.

like

There is nothing wrong with getting married at an age you are comfortable at or not getting married at all. We are here clarifying OPs concerns.

like

DO NOT let anyone including your parents pressure you into this! Make sure that the family you marry into have views that align with yours and similar background (where were they raised - US or India, education, professional) Yes FAMILY - not just spouse. Ultimately the family ends up affecting your life in so many ways especially for a woman. You can’t prevent anything but you must do your due diligence. It’s your life at the end of the day. 25 y/o is nothing - you’re young. Develop your own life and become who u want BEFORE you get married - there won’t be a shortage of people trying to get in your way after. Also be aware, in law families tend to be super nice and supportive before marriage and it’s switch a flip once your married - esp if they weren’t “respected” enough. Anyways - I’m sure some people have amazing experience. The pt is - focus on YOU, establish yourself and your career, do your due diligence and then get married!

Recent IconRecent

Oh Man! This sounds familiar.. Just create it, say you’re unwilling to compromise on whom you’re looking for, and reject the proposals because they don’t match your criteria. Pardon the expression but just throw them a bone to chew on for a bit.

like

Don’t get married just to get married. That being said, I got married at 24. It was a family pressure at the beginning, I cried my soul out before meeting the Boy, but after I met him, everything changed drastically and we are happily married for 10 years now. You never know when the right person kicks in. So make your family understand you are open to see boys but you should not feel forced to get married just because family thinks that is a right match. That feeling needs to come within yourself.

like

D3: There is no way to prove or determine X or Y person is right fit for a spouse or a friend. You have to judge by the way a person talks and your instincts.
In simplest words a marriage is largely a gamble which changes to meaningful relationship with both partners willing to respect and adjust for each other.

Get married only if you feel it is right (who and when). Don’t let anyone rush you. Don’t!

like

Move out if you live at home.
Stop talking to them for a bit if you dont live at home.
They need to learn to respect boundaries and cutting them out for a bit will help.

like

Not stupid at all. It is actually a great advice.

like

Damn, already at 25? You’s still a youngin’

like

I feel like I wrote this post myself. I’m in the same boat! DM me if you want someone to rant with

like

Just be firm and do not marry until you are ready. There’s only till a certain point they can force you. 29F here, not married yet!

like

Parents have FOMO that marrying kids late could risk getting fewer prospective matches.
Our generation has the FOMO of missing out Fun and independence associated with being single.

Does everyone around really live the bachelor life shown in movies?
Comes down to your personal choices.

like

It’s about feeling right about entering a partnership. Some of us like our space & independence and isn’t about this “fun” singledom you see in movies.

like

You are too early to get bothered like this.

Let them know when do you want to get married.. Parents might be thinking that whole process will take 3-4 years, and you will be 28-29 by then. Generally Indian parents think that it is difficult to get married after 30 if you are arrange marriage case.

Sometimes parents use the marriage as a bait for kids to disclose if kids are already in a serious relationship with a friend or colleague.
By current society standards around 30 seems to be a norm for marriage.
I will agree with one of the comments above, meet the person and see. One of my friend didn’t want to get married and was just irritated when parents brought the topic. Finally he met the girl and liked her so much that he started pushing for marriage within 2-3 months.
Don’t just follow what parents are asking but keep an open mind.

More importantly, it’s external people who fill parents’ ears. “There must be someone!”

like

The biological clock is somewhat true. Again it is a combination of male / female reproductive health. If you are super excited about having baby(ies) of your own, they may have an angle.

Coming from a guy who was childless for long time. I was 27 M and wife was 25 F, iam not generalizing, but we both never thought it was such an ordeal to conceive a child. Heartbreaking decade plus, monetary lossess, pain and what not.

Not trying to scare you, but quoting my exp.

D2 100% agreed. We got married at 29 and wanted few years just for us. Had our first born at 36 and second at 39.

like

you may meet the right person at 25....and get the wrong guy at 35 ..or vice versa ..its not about the age...biological clock definitely yes...you are at pink of your health at 25 not 30 or above .... this is in general (there are ppl who r very healthy even at 45 but smaller fraction)...if you dont believe join the fertility bowl and see the painful experience of several folks who only repent and regret on not deciding things early..

No point in talking to someone who resorts to name calling. I’m disengaging from this conversation ✌🏻

25M, parents are pushing me too. Let’s connect
OP 🤪

I think if you’re not in the space to think about it and there’s no need to prioritize then don’t, if you want to date around it is healthy to. I think date for a bit year or so and then think about it.

Additional Posts in Desi Consultants

Hii, I have appeared capgemini interview for SDET on Friday and i got a call that I have cleared 1st round and my second supposed to be happened on Monday but unfortunately I didn't get any response. Kindly help me on this. If someone having any idea

like

Looking like I might actually have the night off from work - anyone want to go out for a drink? 31/m

like

How have unions helped teaching as a profession?

like

My job wants us to go back to the office. Out of us 4 left in the nyc office… I’m the only one who would take the train, and the only female. I don’t feel safe in the subway. 🥲

like

Anyone here work in change management with an attorney title? Or is it primarily compliance folks? Curious to learn the dynamic at other financial institutions - If it’s mostly attorneys or compliance specialists handling regulatory changes...

like

Need two recommendation letters for EMBA but afraid of partners thinking I’m distracted from the track. Currently a SM. How to approach the partners?

Have you ever successfully negotiated non-salary ‘extras’ before accepting an offer? If so, what were they?

eg. extra PTO, home office upgrade, metrocard

like

Hello any LvN work in corrections ? If so how do you like it and would you recommend?

like

Dear All,

We are urgently looking for an automation tester with around 5-7 years of experience and having good hold on building frameworks using latest tools and technologies.

Thrust is on mobile testing experience with good hands on using Appium(both Android & iOS), Browserstack, Jira, Jenkins, Selenium, TestNG, Maven and other related tools

Please message me directly or pass it on to your known circle as this is urgent requirement and your response will be appreciated

like

It’s Employee Appreciation Day. What’s your agency doing?

like

Do I need to bold a black 12px text on a white background to pass the accessibility contrast ratio?

like

Just inherited this 1947 Omega Bumper from my grandfather who passed away. This has never been serviced but runs perfectly and the movement shines like new. Great reminder of the staying power of timepieces! Movement picture in replies.

Post Photo
like

Hey director of digital strategy, do you have any good resources for beginners to learn more about the meta verse?

like

Looking for Netflix partner. Anyone ?
We will contribute equally.

like

Hi everyone,
I am a new joiner @ Coforge, joined on Nov 15th and still waiting for project allocation. What is the resource pool/bench policy for a new joiner, can anyone please help on this?

like

This bowl is 💀

likefunny

Time taken to become a partner in any of Big 4's?

As per my knowledge in EY it is 15 to 20 YOE

Additional Posts (overall)

ACN 🐠, a friend is on EAD & wants to join ACN. So, technically, he doesn’t need H1-B sponsorship, but ACN will need to send a 485-J to update his USCIS GC file. Has ACN done this with anyone?

Beating the Monday blues with some dal chawal and sukkah mutton

Post Photo
likeuplifting

Why are flights from India to US so expensive in April/May. Cant find anything <1000usd for a one way trip, for my parents. Do more flights open up later or should I go ahead and book at these prices?

like

Why is everyone here so triggered by the White Tiger? That’s how the majority of India lives, please get outside your white collar bubbles. And stop saying “the media always shows poverty”, they also released shows like Bollywood Wives and Indian Matchmaking.

likefunny

I don’t know how to ask this politically correct, so I’ll just ask it any which way. Why do movies and serials always depict desi men in business ganging up against their female counterparts then ctd

Things you love about US?

like

Desi ladies, what do you do with your old sarees & outfits?
My desi wear needs some updating.

like

Hi. My mother is 73 yrs old and is here in NYC from Chennai. She’s not used to weather below 28 C. She’s been having muscle pain in legs and shoulder. Went to doc & they’re just saying it’s coz.. cont

Hi folks, any resources for looking for a job with start ups in Bangalore ? Currently based in the US. Looking to move back home at the end of the year.

like

Does anyone know current Indian passport renewal/processing time?

like

Will US go into another recession? How pessimistic or optimistic are you? And why?? Want to get a general pulse of things.

like

In btw changing jobs -
How long can we support the old employer if my petition with the new employer has been approved?

like

How many miles would I stand to earn by booking a United flight from NYC - Delhi? 2 stopovers.

What do you guys generally invest in?

like

What are the best areas in Austin to buy a house with good schools and desi community?

like

Desi fam - when you invite friends over for a Friday night meet up, what sort of alcohol do you normally serve/drink?

like

Ok, we talk about getting desi names butchered by videsis. We have an Anandraj in our midst. And at least once in a day, he is called Anda-Raj or Andha-Raj by desis (by mistake) 😆

funnylike

How do you deal with family in India believing and spreading every false rumor/forwarded message on WhatsApp?

I stopped correcting them a few years ago when I realized it was bad for my relationship with them, but the forwards nowadays especially related to Covid is outright dangerous (and obviously false when read by an educated person). Very worried about this

like

I think Indian teams weakness is not Ipl, it is that they do not play in any other league (big bash, cpl, bpl etc ...) - I think other teams have experience in many other places.

Haris Rauf became a star in the big bash league, Asif Ali has played in cpl, and south african leagues etc... they play in all the leagues except Ipl and have a variety of experiences.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Already have an account? Log in

New to Fishbowl?

image with Fishbowl logo and arms reaching out for a handshake

Already have an account? Log in

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Messaging rates may apply

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal