25M here. What's a good approach to asking out females in their 30s & 40s? Looking to avoid coming off either too forward or bashful. Thank you!

likehelpful
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Be able to articulate why you're interested in women in their 30s-40s, and what you're looking for specifically. But be aware that you're basically fetishizing women (esp 40s) a la Stifler's Mom, which plenty of us will roll our eyes at. A 25 year old man would have very little in common with me - a woman in her 40s - and even if it was purely sexual I don't have confidence a 25 year old man has enough experience to do it for me.

likefunny

Be interested in their lives/kids/jobs/family etc. you will have to appear more mature than your 25 years…may I ask why you are looking for older women?

likehelpful

I guess maturity will stem from having a good job, being a homeowner or thinking about it. Life experience is key and you may not be able to get over that, but on the other hand you are a blank slate; not as many hang ups. Maturity in the bedroom too? Not sure if you can overcome that one. I guess it’s all about being an adult, being grounded, having goals. And the usual good manners - holding doors open, pulling back a chair for them to sit, handing them their coat, giving them the menu. Asking them if you can order for them after asking them what they want.

likehelpful

Just prepare yourself for rejection as a lot of women in their 40s will write you off due to your age.

If you're out a bar, offer to buy them a drink. Some women will be open to conversation and some won't be, so just read their body language. And then if that drink goes well, then ask if they are free for dinner on a different night, or other event of your choosing.

If you're looking on dating apps, again- just be straight forward and ask them out on a date.

likehelpful

40’s F here! Nope! Men in their 30’s are fun, interesting, charming, and energetic. I have lots of girlfriends who will agree. Note, nothing wrong with 40’s, 50’s+ men…just saying I don’t rule out the 30’s.

Share life stories, experience, or thoughts that's interesting or relatable. Have had 21 yr olds try to chat me up but all they could tell me was how boring their classes at uni were.

I've met a 25 year old who told me about their solo trip across rural China barely knowing the language, or how they struggled to find what they truly wanted to do with their life.

helpful

Be matured & actually interested in that person.
I have had issues where in the younger men seemed only interested in physical aspects than me.

helpful

Wait, you asked this question in 3 bowls!? What is the overall takeaway

Omg! Congrats, OP! We are so happy for you!

Why are you interested in women in their 30s and 40s? I thought everyone was obsessed with women in their 20s?

He likes buying shoes for women with that aged cheddar

funny

I think almost every guy i have dated has been younger than me lol I have met some mature younger guys - definitely not going past 5yrs but it’s all about your character, intentionality and how well you communicate. I can’t date younger guys because they want kids some day and I don’t lol

Good luck tho

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