{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "2ys in a relationship and both got promoted to Manager in the same field from different B4. I'm finding it difficult to hide stuff like Biz dev activities from her. How do you guys deal with it?", "post_id": "5baf7ead6ad910001737f4f2", "reply_count": 18, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "564a5cdb94887803001dd07c", "bowl_name": "Accounting" }

2ys in a relationship and both got promoted to Manager in the same field from different B4. I'm finding it difficult to hide stuff like Biz dev activities from her. How do you guys deal with it?

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Are you both competitive and seeking partnership? Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I sense you worry that she is better than you and fierce competition . Please pass along her contact info so that I can recruit her 😉

likefunny

your girlfriend does not have to know every detail of your life

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I'm curious about the premise of your comment. What specifically are you trying to hide? If its confidential strategy or market intelligence, fine, just dont talk about it (no different than you wouldn't discuss confidential client info). I wouldn't consider that hiding. But the premise of hiding your activities is troubling. Some clarity here would help us all better understand. And as others note, when you combine hiding things and a relationship you are asking for trouble. Trust is critical.

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...Are you not able to tell her that you’re going to a networking lunch/happy hour, or drafting a client newsletter? You don’t have to specify the client/prospect and your exact relationship with them...

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Don’t put your work before your spouse. Duh. Even if you know something, don’t reveal it. Family/SO>work

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Talk about work less

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I think you can tell her "I'm at lunch with company xyz." If your firm takes a client from hers or vice versa would you actually be mad at each other? You take work too seriously if you would...

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What line of work are you in?

likesmart

Move to the same firm?

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Thanks everyone for the comments. The things I am hiding are like market strategy, new prospects. Like she's so smart and will figure it out no matter the little detail I am providing to her. We don't talk about work a lot but since we are targeting the same clients it's difficult to compete with the one I love, and hiding those BD activities doesn't help as well.

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Lol. Like she cares. Just do what your going to do.

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Talk about work less and do more sexy time stuff

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Same as with any other person.. just don’t bring it up. There are lots of things I wish I could share but I just don’t seek to engage in conversations about them and it’s easy enough to keep to myself

@SC1, we are discussing about it and it could be an option eventually. But for now, I am feeling like I am cheating on her and I feel bad. It's like leaving with your enemy (professionally speaking....)

Don’t get it. She should understand how this shit works. Doesn’t she have to keep the same secrets? Is she just making you feel guilty for not sharing while not sharing herself? Can you be taken off of those bids due to conflict? So many questions lol

@Partner 1, ahahahahah...no dont worry I am good in my field. Top talent since I am with Deloitte. She's good too for sure, that's what I like about her. Both are seeking for partnership!!!

@EY1, I am in forensic accounting (anti corruption, fraud investigation and litigation) and she also. We are from 2 different big 4

@PWC2, you may be right, just that it's not my nature. I never discussed with her about it. I really feel bad when I do so. May be I am too sensitive and worry too much.

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