31F. I have a good job, a cute little townhome, a dog that I love, strong family relationships (though long distance), a couple of close friends, and healthy retirement savings. I have traveled to all 7 continents and crossed off much of my bucket list. I recognize that I am very fortunate. At the same time, I’m starting to feel restless and I don’t know what to do or focus on next. Any ideas?

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I think volunteering or helping out with some kind of cause can be fulfilling when you have your needs met. Also living abroad is a great experience that might be engaging for you.

likeupliftingsmarthelpful

Traveling is ultimately a vapid activity and majority of people just buy a plane ticket, eat at some notable restaurants, and take some pics for Instagram. Fulfillment comes from finding a cause or skill you’re passionate about and developing yourself to get better at it. That, or marriage/kids.

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D1 isn’t wrong though lol this is very true about how a lot maybe most people “travel”. If these people were truly going to different countries and immersing themselves in the culture etc they would evolve and become people with different habits and more sophisticated world views but they largely don’t outside of being a person that is ~passionate about travel~.

There’s nothing wrong with staying at resorts etc but let’s stop acting like you’re having truly meaningful experiences. You had fun in a lovely backdrop with the same people and your dollar went further.

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You need me. DM 📥📥

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Whistling through your thumb and forefinger, or children. Both are incredibly challenging endeavors that have kept me busy for the better part of 14 years.

funnylikesmart

Men

funnylikesmartuplifting

Start focusing on others. Have kids.

likefunnyuplifting

With Mck life, I don’t how ppl get time to spend time with their kids 🫣

Lots of interesting and helpful perspectives here, thanks to everyone for sharing!

Partner + kids probably came up the most frequently. For me personally, I would be happy to find a partner, but it’s not a goal. I’m focused on building a life I love. I also personally don’t feel a strong desire for children, which is freeing in that I don’t feel the pressure of a biological clock pushing me into a less than ideal relationship.

Love all the comments about focusing on others, volunteering, and building mastery and depth in an area of interest. That definitely resonates and gives me a lot to think about.

likeuplifting

Hate to sound like that guy, BUT partner and kids.

likefunny

So you'll be unhappy in the moment and day to day, but on your deathbed will reminisce and say everything was good. That's like me being unhappy during my 20s, but looking back thinking they were the best decade ever.

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Dog pics or it didn't happen 🥺❤️🐶

Also, read Mastery by Robert Greene

And The Wealthy Gardener by John Soforic

One of the main points in both of these books is to stop numbing your restlessness by doing random things to fill your time; find your next big mountain and work towards it. Depth > breadth.

You've been to the 7 continents and checked off a lot of your bucket list, but have you had deep and fulfilling experiences, whether in travel/life?

Also, have you been to the Faroe Islands?

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45F. Homes on both coasts. No pets. Also strong family and close friend relationships. My travels used to be about seeing places, a checklist of places. Now it’s about building memories with people I love, taking my mom on an extravagant train trip, taking my nieces and nephews to NYC for the first time etc. I find that has become more important to me: making memories with people.

Covid helped me realize that loneliness and restlessness is always there: the only thing that carried me through that is my memories of shared experiences.

likeuplifting

Has any of this taken you out of your comfort zone? Do you draw, paint, play an instrument? Find a way to challenge the way you process information. You’ve clearly seen the world and other cultures but how about self reflection and developing muscles you don’t usually have the opportunity to flex - art, kids, romance, what have you.

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Starting a business is another challenging and rewarding idea. And brave.

likesmart

Very similar to you and I’m realizing I’m missing a partner

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Become fluent in a new language or two. Your life will change in ways you wouldn’t imagine.

likesmart

World of Warcraft

likefunnyhelpful

Bought a semi-fixer-upper recently has been fun doing it up

likefunny

Make some kids before it’s too late

likefunny

Gross

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OP if kids aren’t a goal, what about volunteering or a mentoring program like Big Brother Big Sister? Getting involved in the community and helping others might be a good next goal to tackle :) Also congrats on crushing 31!

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Partner and children. The world is lonely without someone who is truly on your side and on your team against every struggle and for every life goal. No amount of friends can fill that gap. Think long and hard about death and what you want to leave behind. You can be nihilistic all you want, but mortal reality will drive you crazy unless you've addressed it in one way or another.

When you travel, are you doing it with a purpose, or are you only having self-masturbatory hedonistic experiences?

(yes, I recognize everyone is different and your mileage may vary here)

likefunny

Enough people have recommended kids. So I won’t do that (though I also recommend parenthood as an eventual frontier)… how about mountaineering? You’ve been to each continent. What about the highest point in each? Or just stay local and train for Rainer and Denali? If you do the training there are guides that will take you anywhere.

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