34w pregnant and trying to discuss our visitor rules with husb. My preference is no one to visit the first 2 weeks, after I would allow visitors but I don’t want anyone unvaccinated to hold the baby for the first 2 months and to wear a mask if we allow them indoors. The problem is my entire family is vaccinated and my husb is not. They are also not taking precautions and going to big events constantly. Husb feels like I’m singling out his fam. Anyone else going through the same or have advice?

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There’s more than Covid to worry about. Adults around a newborn should have updated Tdap vaccine and flu vaccine (when in season). Beyond those vaccines, your baby is at risk for RSV and lots of other nasty germs early on, so minimal exposure for first two months is very advisable. Ask your pediatrician to back you up (truly- I’d call ped to give them a heads up, then go for a pre-birth visit with your husband).

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I second ☝🏻. My sister gave birth during the pandemic (pre vaccine) and had similar rules all around for anyone and everyone, no exceptions (Tdap, flu vaccines and masks mandatory). And we all respected her decision and rules in order to hold her baby and to help her out as a new mom. I’m now expecting my first and while I’m now vaxxed as are all of my family members and friends, I still might say no visitors during the first 2-4 weeks. Tough spot for you with your husband, but I would air on the side of caution and have firmer rules - it’s easier to relax firm rules if everyone remains healthy than it is to deal with a sick baby and then enforce tighter rules. I hope you’re able to find a solution that works for you and your husband!

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If there weren’t vaccinated I wouldn’t let them into my house at all. Period. If they want to see your kid they can come by for an outdoor event where they are NOT allowed within 6 feet of baby and would be required to wear masks.

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Maybe have everyone wear masks. Your baby, your rules.

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My OB and pediatrician both highlighted asking all not to kiss the baby. This is the number one way babies get sick, and this was prior to covid. I thought that was very interesting and it was a tough one for family members to comply, but it makes sense and we watched them like hawks...

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If your husband and his family are cranky about the rules just remind them that a newborn baby with a fever for any reason is sent to get a spinal tap. Are they really willing to risk that?

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Yep. This hit home for everyone and they all rushed to get tdaps and flu (and covid when it became available)

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Regardless of illness concerns, it is TOUGH to have lots of visitors the first 30 days. You’re learning how to take care of a baby round the clock, everything is dirty, you’re exhausted, there’s no time to shower let alone get “company ready,” etc. And if you’re breastfeeding, you’ll be wanting your boobs out a lot so baby can nurse whenever. That’s a ton to deal with, before you even get to the pandemic.

We didn’t have visitors other than our parents who each stayed with us for two weeks (separately) to help, this was pre-Covid, and we did the same with our second just this last month. Although this time no one visited because of travel restrictions. But anyway, those are valid reasons to limit visitors too.

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Yes. I told my husband when he squeezes a baby out of his a**hole, can t****y feed it, and his family can understand basic virology concepts then he has a say in the rules for the baby. Until then, too f*****g bad. My vagina, my baby, my rules. If he wants to be on call 24/7, do all feedings, changings, crying, etc for the next six months then he gets 50% of a say.

But I also don’t put up with any f*ckery now that the baby is here. My body, my labor, my rules. Period. No discussion.

likeuplifting

We are only having immediate family hold the baby and they must provide proof that they’ve had Tdap & COVID vaccines

Given this, my MIL has decided she won’t be visiting. Although she was very (surprisingly) supportive of our choice, she doesn’t feel comfortable taking the vaccine (her choice....). I grounded the conversation in needing to keep our son safe and trying to maintain a stress free environment given complications I’ve had so far.

Last thing I’d add is be prepared to share that you are holding your side of the family accountable. She literally asked about the status of each of my parents and siblings when I shared what we described as our “Health & Wellness” requirements. While this was rude and nosey on her part, it did showcase the fact that expectations are what they are regardless of side of the family

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We didn’t allow anyone unvaccinated in the house at all unless they did a full quarantine (including stores, pharmacy, work, restaurants, no seeing friends, no doctors, etc) for 2 weeks prior. Unvaxxed and we agreed to outdoors only if 6 feet from the baby and masked.

Still no one allowed to hold the baby if unvaccinated, including outdoors. “Vaccinated” includes flu, tdap, and covid. No kissing the face or hands vaxxed or unvaxxed

There is no excuse and protecting their family’s babies who cannot get vaccinated should be a reason to get them.

Hold the same rules for everyone

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Yeah if it helps my kids are older (5&3) and we’re not letting anyone unvaccinated in the house. And even vaccinated need to lee some space no kissing etc

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Besides covid, it is not normal to pass a newborn around the first months, there are other diseases. Even a flue could be bad for a little one, plus the stress that it could be covid.
I am telling you the 2 weeks no visitors was amazing for me. You will be tired, sleep deprived, house might be a mess, you are bleeding, maybe recovering from a c section, etc.

People don't take labor as seriously as they should. For god's sake, you will be bleeding a lot and exhausted, maybe on post operation recovery

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The fact that your husband is not as concern about it concerns me. I’m with you on this and I wouldn’t negotiate. I don’t carry that baby 9 months just so you can put him/her at risk right after he/he is born. No, nope, not gonna

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We refused to have anyone come close to baba before 2 months as I gave birth peak of second wave. Post that my in laws ew in from Australia and quarantined for 14 days and were only then allowed post negative covid tests. This meant me and husband going crazy with our baby alone and no help, but we discussed all scenarios and came to an agreement. Now, everyone is vaccinated but still we insists on wearing a mask around baby for larger family. Only my in laws who are living in apartment next door and are super super cautious are allowed to play with the baby without masks. I know few people in my husbands family were annoyed that we didn’t allow them to see the baby but we are okay with that. Gradually, they will come around and it gives me peace that I don’t have to deal with the stress of possible infection. Just don’t have the mental real estate right now! Have a conversation with your husband, and see if non vaccinated family can quarantine before meeting the baby. Not practical and probably a solid no, but will give you a little leeway to discuss this with husband!

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