42F dating 42M for 9 months. We used to live about 30 minutes away from each other and saw each other once a week, but I moved a few months ago (now10 minutes away) and we still only see each other once a week. He calls me every night and we talk on the phone for 1-2 hours. We do lots of fun stuff together- art fairs, sporting events, and just relax and cook together and watch some movies. He sees his friends once every couple months. Am I wasting my time with this guy? No kids/don't want kids

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Stop talking over the phone and do the 10 min drive to his place? Talk it out and tell him you want to hang out IRL more.

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I don’t know… do u want to see him more? Does he know that?

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Umm… what are you hoping to get from this? More in-person time? Have you expressed this?

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Do you ask to come over / have him over and he turns you down? If not and you’re only hanging out when he asks, you should step up and engage.

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He doesn't usually turn me down. But sometimes bails last minute if he's tired/not feeling well (probably happens ~15% of the time)

UPDATE: I'm definitely looking for more in person time. It seems like I'm always the one initiating (which I don't like as a female lol). I have expressed that I want more in person time, but not since I moved closer to him. It seems like when we talk on Sunday night, I'm like "what does your week look like" and he's like "we will figure something out" but it never gets figured out lol

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You need to be explicit with what you want and ask for specific times to hang out more. You are in a habit of once a week so you need to actively change that.

Maybe have a quick dinner together low key for an extra night so instead of talking on the phone for 2 hours, you are making a quick dinner together and leaving? Or doing take out. Nothing major just a quick meetup to start.

What are you looking for?

You’re counting frequency of times in person instead of total time dedicated.

I can guarantee you that if you did the math, you’d see that the vast majority of his free time is going to you.

I don’t know what else you’d want from him. Clearly he values you quite heavily to be dedicating ~9 hours a week talking on the phone with you.

Thank you lol. I think I just needed this validation lol

Based on your description, you are literally taking all of his current free time. If you want more time (whether it's in person or not), the only way you're going to get it is if you move in together. Are you ready for that step?

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