{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "If I started a lawsuit everytime a client or another lawyer called me \"sweetheart,\" I'd probably have to start my own company because there'd be nowhere left for me to work", "post_id": "5ddebb1a9f65a70021f070ee", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 18, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d052", "bowl_name": "Law" }

If I started a lawsuit everytime a client or another lawyer called me "sweetheart," I'd probably have to start my own company because there'd be nowhere left for me to work

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Unfortunately you are not alone in this experience OP. The times they are a-changing but ever so slowly

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That or every time I get mistaken for a secretary/paralegal

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This happens to me frequently, especially when I’m part of a larger group of men. Are we actually invisible? Or is there some guidebook for men telling them that they don’t need to speak to us?

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Wow, that's unacceptable..

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Different situation but as a female associate I can’t help but cringe and be annoyed when emails still open with “Dear Sirs” though there are clearly female lawyers and partners on the chain

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That’s not passive aggressive, that’s genuinely an appropriate response imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

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This isn’t at all something to get triggered about unless it’s in a sexually suggestive way. People call others sweetie or sweetheart all the time in a genuinely non-sexual or suggestive way.

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Very well said. The fact that something is not illegal doesn’t make it right, proper, or respectful.

likesmart

How do you cope? A witness called me that during a deposition, and I am still mad about it. Helps a bit that I kicked his butt during that depo.

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I see none of you are from the south. And I know you’re joking, but you wouldn’t prevail on a sexual harassment suit for being called honey. I really do respect women lawyers tho, you all have to put up with a lot of shit from the creepy old guys that men don’t. I’d support any girl at my firm who publicly told someone to cut that shit out.

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any woman*

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It’s happened to me a bunch of times. Honestly though, I’ll take being called a sweetheart occasionally to dealing w a raging partner any day of the week ...

uplifting

The things we choose to get angry over...

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It’s infuriating that in this day and age this garbage continues. I’m a 55 year old white male who is rarely described as sweet by anyone who knows me. But when traveling - especially in the Midwest - women routinely call me sweetie and honey, which is almost as asinine as a (presumably) male lawyer calling a younger (presumably) female lawyer sweetheart. One would have thought we had come further than we have since 1988, when a senior partner from a name brand large Midwestern firm smacked a female summer associate (and my then-girlfriend) on that backside at a firm cocktail hour and gleefully exclaimed to a fellow codger standing nearby, “I’m so happy that we are finally hiring girl attorneys!” Not sure what it will take for things to change but I’m sorry this remains an issue. It shouldn’t.

Oh my goodness that story is horrific

I’ve had clients call me “love”

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