{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "5wks pregnant and wondering — when did people tell their teams they were pregnant? I’m mindful that we’re “always on” during COVID, and I’m thinking about dr appts and what to do if/when morning sickness shows up, since I’m on zoom ~6hrs/day... but it’s also so painfully early. Would love to hear how other moms have handled! \n\nDid this allow you to create better boundaries for things like protecting your sleep and stress?", "post_id": "5fc8f9cf37a3dc002e366858", "reply_count": 60, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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5wks pregnant and wondering — when did people tell their teams they were pregnant? I’m mindful that we’re “always on” during COVID, and I’m thinking about dr appts and what to do if/when morning sickness shows up, since I’m on zoom ~6hrs/day... but it’s also so painfully early. Would love to hear how other moms have handled!

Did this allow you to create better boundaries for things like protecting your sleep and stress?

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I didn't announce til 20 weeks. Weeks 8-13 I did need to block off time in my calendar for mid day rest, and honestly had to bring the laptop into the bathroom a few times while I was puking, with microphone and camera off ofcourse. I took vitamin B6 and upped my protein at the recommendation of my midwife and that helped to keep a good amount of the nausea during the day at bay, although I got pretty gnarly headaches in the evening. I would just see how it plays out for you and decide on the appropriate plan of action when it starts to actually conflict with your day. Some lucky ducks don't even get morning sickness. As for drs apts, again you may be able to get away with blocking the time off on your calendar as well. I only saw my Dr every other month for the first 2 trimesters, so it was not a huge impediment to my schedule that obviously signalled I was seeing drs all the time. Of course this was all just my preference as I'm a highly anxious person. Lots of people share after 12 weeks.

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currently 24 weeks, only told those i trust at about 20 and slowly started telling my project members now. i saw no reason to rush because i didn't want to get the 'prediscrimination', and also because i had a miscarriage before, which i didn't tell anyone about back then - i figured if it doesn't work out again, i don't want to be labeled as the woman who's constantly trying to conceive although I'd still have to be "in the game". i think in that sense corona was actually a super time to become pregnant, since you can hide it much longer. i also scaled back a lot of internal stuff, and doctor visits are anyway only once per month - and first trimester flies by quickly (although it won't feel like that now!). when i felt super tired in the first trimester it also helped to be doing home office, I'd just do some of the meetings lying down on the sofa (without video ofc, but you can find a ton of excuses for that) or sleep inbetween meetings even if there was a 10-min gap. helped immensely, all not possible had it not been for covid/home office.

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I was pregnant while on a project, decided not to share with client/team during 1st trimester and have also made no adjustments in my lifestyle. Sadly, this likely contributed to the pregnancy ending in a miscarriage in early 2nd trimester as stress and lack of sleep can negatively impact how the embryo developes. I am sharing because I am sorry I did not listen to my body. Please take care of yourself and prioritize well since our lifestyle is often not the healthiest one.

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The article I shared discusses also working long hours ("Working more than 40 hours a week was also associated with a 38% higher risk of miscarriages and a 21% higher risk of preterm deliveries than working less."). Also, I regularly worked late nights (1am, 2am) while starting already at 7.30am.

Thanks, I am also now having a healthy pregnancy, already in my 3rd trimester and very much taking care of myself this time.

I think it is good to be aware of potential risks as this awarness can give strenght to listen to one's body and set boundaries when and where needed during pregnancy, without feeling guilty for doing so. Especially in environments where 15+ working hours per day are not unusual.

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I didn’t tell anyone, I just scaled back. Didn’t do as much extra stuff, didn’t join meetings unless it was required. Internal stuff I def had stricter boundaries. I also rested for 30 mins probably every day mid afternoon. the project work was still moving ahead but I scaled back where I could. It gets better in second trimester and as my mentor says, this career is a marathon not a sprint, there’s going to be periods where your burning vs coasting, you’re growing a human - so put on cruise control for a little. Congrats!

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Honestly, I used Covid to extend the announcement as much as I could. I told my leadership team when I was ~16 weeks to not make it seem like I was hiding my pregnancy. I started telling parts of my project teams 24 weeks onwards. Some of the people I work with - e.g., consultants on BD, etc. - still don’t know (I’m 33 weeks). I feel like on the junior side, at my firm consultants are at such a different life stage, me being pregnant is not interesting to them in the least. Just FYI - the number of doc appointments (esp. with Covid) is fewer than you’d think ( 1x per month or less initially), and anyway, it’s no one’s business that you need to take personal time for something urgent, unless you want to tell them.

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Good luck! I don't have any children but just made same transition and think you're playing it smart. If you do start to have troubles balancing the new role I'd recommend reaching out to a trusted EM you've worked with. They won't have a say in your designation (only APs and above do) so you can be totally honest and transparent without worries of self sabotage. Would recommend this approach whether pregnant or not :)

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I didn’t say anything until I could no longer hide it about 20 weeks. I was up for promotion both times. And I did get a promotion at about 30+ weeks each time

likeuplifting

That’s really encouraging!! Thank you for sharing 🎉

I’m 15 weeks and haven’t announced yet

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Yup! 18 weeks and haven't told anyone from work yet.

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Regarding the camera...there’s been days where I just straight up declare to the team “I’m granting myself a no camera day.” Many people are relieved and turn off their cameras too. We are all burned out on video regardless of pregnancy! I’m at 12 weeks and am planning to share after the holiday break.

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I went on unpaid LOA so can’t really speak to that... but highly recommend if you can take vacation, sick days, or unpaid LOA especially between weeks 7-11

likesmart

Also CA (and perhaps other states) allow pregnant women to take up to 4 months of disability leave prior to delivery with a doctor’s note, and up to 4 weeks leading up to the due date with no doctor’s note or justification

I am 7 weeks and I told my direct supervisor and a person I trust in the project as soon as early as 6 weeks. I am always in back to back meetings, I manage an entire team and have bad morning sickness. I asked them not to share until I am past the 1st trimester but it helped that they know my situation. They cover for me whenever I need to step away to deal with morning sickness so it’s very helpful.

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Thank you A1! I’m worried about morning sickness pushing the issue because I’m so back to back a ton in the morning especially. This strategy makes a lot of sense!

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I shared with one team leader at 20 weeks and the rest of my team/HR at 24 weeks. My project was scheduled to end before my maternity leave was going to start, so I didn’t feel the need to tell the team any earlier.

My most difficult time was 8-12 weeks, and I had a few more doctors appts than are typical, so at that point I told my team I had some health concerns and might need a bit of flexibility in my schedule. I had a great team working for me that picked up the slack a few times when I was sick during meetings. I took 2-3 short naps a day in between meetings and took B6 and Unisom for the nausea, though I ended up feeling so fatigued and my nausea wasn’t too bad so I scaled back on those meds since unisom is a sleep aid

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Everyone I told has been very supportive. I’m currently 13 weeks. I have not told my career advisor yet but my manager knows and just staffed me on another project which is very encouraging.

I did take vacation during weeks nine and 10 which was pretty important as I was nauseated most of the day. For me it was worse at the end of the day (keep in mind that “morning sickness“ is just a name and in fact statistically can impact you at any time of the day equally.)

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I told HR around 14 weeks and just starting telling my teams around 16. Since we’re virtual no one noticed. I didn’t get morning sickness but sometimes would need to lay down. So I just would find time or say I had a migraine. You can also say you have an obligation or an appointment without giving detail.

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For my first, I told my team only after the 20 week big ultrasound came back with everything looking good. Chances of miscarriage is higher during the first trimester so I definitely didn’t want to tell anyone at work that early.

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With my first pregnancy, I wanted to wait until after the 1st trimester. I ended up miscarrying andI felt awkward breaking the news that I was having a miscarriage since I never announced pregnancy and chose to stay mysterious and say I had a medical emergency instead. When I got pregnant again, I told my team immediately, along with the fact that my previous medical emergency was a miscarriage. The team was extremely supportive and even shared their own stories of miscarriage. Don't suffer in silence. Miscarriages are not something to ashamed of and it is as serious as a death in the family. Enjoy the joy of the pregnancy, tell everyone, and if things do go south, you will have a much larger support network.

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I told my team last week at 8 weeks. I have been having all day sickness and feel pretty tired by the end of the week. Also I personally think (I remark the word personally, don’t expect everybody to be onboard) the only way to remove stigma and to better support women about miscarriage is by sharing early and getting the team excited about the pregnancy. I told PD at 6 weeks to make sure they would allow me to find a study that was compatible with the first trimester of pregnancy. I have had a great experience so far (this is my second pregnancy working at the firm)

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I told my team at 30 weeks 😂

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Long story... but I didn’t want my pregnancy to impact staffing. I was 4 months when I rolled off of my prior project and my new project was supposed to be a year long contract, but then we decided to divide the contract into 2 phases and I wanted to make sure I could get staffed on both so could stay staffed up until maternity leave.

I felt 2.5 months notice is adequate time to plan for my transition.

During my first pregnancy I landed my dream role and they found out about my maternity leave and then decided not to staff me just before kickoff (it’s not illegal FYI) so I wanted to ensure that would never happen again.

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With my first pregnancy I told my supervisor at about 7 weeks because I needed accommodations to work from home, have a flexible schedule (for all the naps). I asked her not to tell anyone and she didn’t. Everyone else just knew I was working a shifted schedule for a while.

With my second I was up for promotion and nervous about unconscious bias. Since we were remote, I waited until 20+ weeks to tell the MD. Told the team later.

Do whatever feels best for you. People have supersized me with how understanding they’ve been.

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I waited until 15-16 weeks with the first one. I could have waited longer and would if I could do it again. People opt you out of client and internal opportunities because it’s inconvenient for them or out of misplaced consideration for you. All amounts to less opportunities that impact you come annual review time

smart

I’m 16 weeks pregnant and this is my promotion year. Can’t decide when to tell my team manager. Is it going to negatively impact my promotion and extension on the project?

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You’re not going to be due till after performance year is due. So it should not affect much. I’m due January 2021 and also promotion year. There’s 2 months of gap in snapshots for me, but I’m hopeful. :)

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