{ "media_type": "image", "post_content": "8 years for me. What lessons did you learn from dating around? For how long?\n\nhttps://youtu.be/BkV_g9BGk1U", "post_id": "5f5ed686fb9ee40029b9ba3b", "reply_count": 1, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }
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Been seriously dating for ~5 years. Biggest lesson is that sometimes love truly isn't enough, and you have to put yourself first because no one else will. After watching the video, I realized something. I used to think that when you found someone who's happiness I would place above my own, that this person must mean everything to me. But why should I put someone else above me? Am I not devaluing my own happiness and self-worth? Yes, there are exceptions. For example, my bf of 2 years is going through a lot of life-altering decisions and crises, so I am placing his needs over our relationship, and trying to survive off the minimum emotional support that I can live with. But I can't sustain this form forever. It's been about two months now and it hurts, and it isn't sustainable to be in this emotional limbo hell. But I know that sooner or later, either he will reinvest and rededicate his energy to us, or I will have to make the heart wrenching decision to either walk away. So for now, I'm trying to be as patient and give him as much lee-way as I can. But overall, in the long run, in the big picture, I've learned that sacrificing my own happiness isn't some statement of love or devotion. It's self-sabotage and very easily leads to dependence and toxic relationship dynamics.

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