A bit of a sensitive topic. My son is 3. One of friends has 3 boys and she asked me to babysit them one weekend. The middle child, 10 years old is very handsy with my son. I’ve asked him multiple times to not carry him or hug him since he doesn’t like it and the boy still manages somehow to find his way to be physically close to my son. Today while I had my back turned to them while they were all eating at the dining table I heard a kiss sound and turned to see the… Cont’d below

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Definitely not overreacting. 10 years old is plenty old enough to comprehend rules, understand what is acceptable and unacceptable, and what no means. This is a great teaching moment for your son to stand up for himself but I would most certainly talk to your friend.

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I can’t get past you agreeing to babysit your friends THREE boys for a weekend. That’s incredible. Would you be my friend? That’s like a sister-level favor in my book 🤣🤣🤣

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Not overreacting. That kind of behavior is inappropriate, and left unchecked, can lead to greater problems down the road (potential for this behavior to escalate as the 10yr old gets older). I wouldn’t let them interact at all

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Not overreacting and I would bring it up to your friend. The behavior is inappropriate especially if you asked him multiple times to stop (doesn’t pay attention to consent), your son doesn’t like it, and you need to be the protector and champion of your son first.

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Agree with everyone. That is definitely strange. A 10 year old should understand those very basic instructions. I'd also bring it up with the friend, but be delicate about it. Might blow up in your face, but your son is your priority.

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I noticed this behavior in my nephew a few years ago when he was 11. He is now 16. Always trying to touch the little kid cousins. I never let my toddler alone with him or family on that side since they turn a blind eye. You are your child’s protector. I do not think you are overreacting at all.

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Ditto to what others said. Until your baby is old enough to control who is in his personal space, you have to set the tone so he knows that he can choose who is in his personal space and what they are doing there.

Not to be rude or overly morbid, I’d also say that children are some of the top sexual abusers of other children. Children that have been abused often reenact the abuse on other children. So, your friend’s son may be re-enacting something that happened to him.

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This was my first thought as well.

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Agree. It’s likely to blow up in my face - I don’t see her doing anything else but defending her child. I’ll be as sensitive as possible, and broach it after I’ve cooled down, but I can’t let them interact. My instincts are screaming in my head right now.

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Thank you! This is very helpful

Ha. She had to go to a funeral. I didn’t have a choice- trust me, I’ve been counting the seconds before she comes picks them up.

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You always have a choice. There are plenty of paid options out there for her.

If this blows up in your face, might be a blessing in disguise. No more being used as a babysitter for 3 (!!!!) kids.

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Some kiddos are very affectionate and at that age, they could think it is their way of caring for a little especially if his parents are very affectionate. I do agree that at 10, they should know if a little doesn’t like it, and if they have been told, they should not do it though…. I would say something to your friend after you have cooled off in a gentle way…. Either way, if you are uncomfortable speak up no matter the circumstances, it’s your right as a parent and protector.

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10 Year old kiss my son. I told him go back to his seat and finish his lunch. I’m not sure what to do or how to bring it up to my friend. The boy is still little I get it. But this excessive touching bothers me. I’ve asked my son to say loudly don’t touch me I don’t like it. But i can’t trust him around my kid anymore. Am I overreacting?

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You aren’t over reacting; it’s never to early to learn consent exists in ALL spaces.
Approach from that lens. 10 is too young to infer intentions but it’s not too young to understand if, when, and how it’s okay to initiate physical contact of all kinds. I would continue to engage with your friend and her children; at a best case scenario your friend is overwhelmed and at a minimum the child is craving attention, affection and engagement. Good Luck.

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I don't know ... i'm on the fence here as I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 year old cousin that is also a little handsy with my son. I don't love it but I also know my little cousin means well and clearly loves my son. Does the 10 year old mean well, do you know anything about their family dynamics? are you close enough with your friend that you feel comfortable babysitting all 3 boys at once and your toddler ? There just may be something else that's going on.

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D2 said what I meant exactly. He may be 10 but not have the cognitive abilities on par with other 10 year olds. And I didn't get the sense that you were abrupt at all! I just know how easy it is to get upset when it has to do with our kids and sometimes a step back is helpful to reassess in a different context.

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Nope nope nope. Not worth any but if the risk. You’re not over reacting - if if feels weird in your gut it’s weird.

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So agree, protect ur child. But is that kid the youngest/oldest/middle child? Where did he kiss your son?

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Again I’m not disagreeing teaching boundaries/consent/age appropriate behavior. If a three yo bites or hits, we teach them not to. Similarly a ten year should be taught if they are not demonstrating age appropriate behavior.

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Was the 10 year old a victim of sexual abuse himself? He isn’t born with these types of behaviors. Where did he pick up those behaviors? Who did those to the 10 year old to repeat the acts with your child? I feel terrible for that 10 year old.

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