A brief interruption from regularly scheduled ad / Covid related posts: can straight, single people of the opposite sex (or same sex if gay) be just friends after the age of 30 or so or is it just a precursor to getting together? I realize this is the premise of When Harry Met Sally but still going w/ this confession / question.

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I think in a large majority of cases, if they’re single and of similar physical attraction levels, it’s pretty unlikely the brakes are staying on that train.

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“We’re smart and hot” 😂 no complex’s here!

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The real question is, is it worth the pain of being unable to act on your feelings to maintain the facade of friendship?

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Ha. Yeah. Damn quarantine makes things complicated. When are we allowed to make out with someone outside our household!?

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One of my oldest friends is the opposite sex. We've been friends for over 20 years. Nothing has ever happened between us. Nothing has ever even come close to happening between us. 🤷‍♀️

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I'm sorry that happened to you OP. The guy sounds like an absolute jackass. I hate to say it but it seems like he used you as the back up plan in case things didn't work out with the girlfriend and you deserve better than that. If a guy really likes you, he'll make sure you know he likes you. If you have to guess as to whether you're in the friendzone, you most likely are. Granted, this being love in the time of cholera, er, covid and all, everything is a bit more complicated. My two cents would be to assume that you're friends until he makes it obvious he wants more especially since you're not willing to make the first move.

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Harry was correct, the first time, before he changed his mind. There is no way they can be friends

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Yeah. I was looking for a man’s perspective. A lot of men have told me that they don’t really bother hanging with women unless they’re interested. Obviously skewed perspective towards the men I asked but still.

DTF for sure

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Depends a lot on how attracted they are to each other. I‘ve had plenty of single guy friends now and over the years who either I didn’t find attractive or who didn’t find me attractive.

And it’s not even necessarily about “oh am I or are they an objectively good looking person”. Has more to do with an unspoken sexual chemistry/rapport

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Yeah. I agree. We have this weird tension but not sure if it’s chemistry. We haven’t been in a situation with no masks and alcohol / no threat of corona though.

Yes, of course. I have close male friends and when we were single, absolutely nothing changed about our friendships.

Ask the males what they though. It’s sad but true. They thought of you that way. At least considered it.

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