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I won’t pretend to know the answer to this one. But maybe I could offer some advice.
Try making a plan.
Set a date in the near future for your extra effort to change gears. Most people start a new job and they come in revving their engines and ready for action. You know… it’s that “new job extra effort to impress the people who hired you” type of mental energy. Well, I think staying in that gear is hard on your engine. (Especially since we’ve been in this pandemic for a while now.) So, my thought for you is to plan a downshift.
Like, as soon as you complete this current project, or as soon as you get to the next big client presentation… that’s when you mentally decide to take your proverbial foot off the gas, and downshift. Letting yourself cruise at a more comfortable pace to avoid burning out.
From that point on… start setting some new boundaries. For yourself, and for your employer. You don’t have to make any abrupt rules that could rub your bosses the wrong way. But you could ease those boundaries in slowly.
Blocking some time on your schedule is an easy one to start with, I’m sure you’re already doing it, but set some time aside in your day that is optional for getting actual work done or just some personal time. Don’t move it every time someone tries to schedule over it. Keep it and see if the scheduler can find a different time. Sometimes you’re gonna have to move it, (I know I have) but it’s a small boundary.
Another way I like to set a boundary is letting your team know when you’re going to be offline. I’ve found it less stressful when you let people know… also let them know when you’ll be back online as well. For example, I have kids, so I get to say things like, “Hey team, I have to go do parental things now. So I’ll be offline for the next few few hours. But will be back online around 8pm. If anything urgent comes up… I’ll see it at 8pm”
Doing this is better than just logging off at 5:30pm, letting your team wonder where you are, and casting doubt in their anxiety-fueled brains. Alleviate some of that for them by giving a return time.
Another thing I like to do is to say “no” without ever using the word “no”.
So… this is a cultural thing for me (we consider it rude to use the word no, so we find polite ways to decline using other words and phrases) but I’ve found it very useful in the office. I hope you can too.
Hopefully some of these methods could help you, but please know that I too still struggle with setting boundaries at my agency because I love my job.
This is wonderful thank you for such a thoughtful response! I like the deadline idea for a downshift. And blocking time, lord knows yes. It’s the first thing I suggest to new hires and not so great at doing it myself! I’m definitely going to try to let people know my off and on time more. Thank you!!
Let me know when you've discovered the magic answer to that one - I can 100% relate