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Ditch him, he is not into you
Op, when men say they look for something casual they are not going to change their mind about you. He is probably one of his prospects, and he might even send the same good morning text to multiple girls.
What is wrong with some of y’all smh. May is a pretty bad time for most students. He said his week is busy and you can’t just take that at face value? Likely he’s doing the best he can to juggle wrapping up the semester and his dating life. Since when is an hour or two to text back slow? I don’t check my phone at all during the workday now and as a student I wouldn’t respond to messages for days during my busy periods. Give him space and let him reach out to arrange another date when he’s less busy. If he doesn’t reach out then he wasn’t interested.
As a student I literally didn’t have time to shower and eat, I definitely didn’t have time to text someone back. Plus I feel like how invested can you be in someone after two dates to put them before your studies. Anecdotal but my sister lived next to Princeton and dated a few grad students. She often complained about not being able to see them for X weeks because they were finishing up whichever class.
I feel him. Grad school sucks and end sem is the worst (mid April to mid May). But usually the craziness dies down around mid May. Did you ask him when he’ll be free? Or what his schedule is like?
I was literally in love with someone and was not able to make time to meet him or go out with him for like over a month because of how packed my schedule and deadlines were. He didn’t quite get it bcoz he has been working for some time and it didn’t make sense to him that I couldn’t make time. He was obviously not my priority at that time, coz when you’re in school that’s always your first priority. :(
Dating someone who is in school is not easy. Upto you to decide if you actually wanna do this, provided he’s into you as much as you’re into him. If you want something serious tell him that and have a logical conversation on what you expect out of each other for the duration he’s in school. :)
Well, this summer should tell ya!
But it’s hard dating as a grad student. I would’ve preferred to date other grad students, that way we could hang out while studying or grabbing lunch or in bw classes. :)
I donno if this will help much but will say anyways.
I was kind of in the same space with someone 4 weeks back. 3 amazing dates & 3 super hot weeks of texting/calling n staying in touch constantly. He said he has got on this project that will go on for 3-4 weeks and he is crazy busy. Calls dint happen, texts were barely initiated. I gave the benefit of doubt, tried to stay in touch with texts here & there for 2 weeks, called him out on it over a weekend. Next week i dint make much effort, he dint either. I could sense a slow fade but just kept quite, we were supposed to talk over the weekend - he dint call but left a text next day saying he got stuck with something, has been thinking about & is calling it off coz he is busy with work & distance (both the reasons we thought are workable before). Done & dusted.
Did it hurt? Awfully. Do i miss him, kind off but i wish i had better boundaries & dint drown myself/carried away in it as much as i did.
In your case i would say:
Ask until when the so called busy time might last & see if he is making plan/effort to see you beyond that (Like others said mere texts are in a wat bread crumbs)
If the answer is vague or i donno, lets play by the ear - cut your losses. Dating apps, swiping & options culture is emotionally draining - for all we know he could be talking to other people 🤷♀️
I know its hard to let that amazing chemistry go BUT dont give it too much power either, draw your boundaries sooner💕 The right guy will never keep you *guessing/wondering*!
Aw! This makes sense and thanks for the insights. This is helpful for context and you’ll find someone amazing as well :)
If he's into you, you'll know. Move on.
For context, we talked about what we were looking for because I got a sense he was looking for something casual. I said I’m looking to see where things go and he agreed. I can’t tell if he was agreeing for the sake of agreeing. But we met on dating apps so I’m sure he can find other ppl who are looking for similar things as him if that is the case.
We also get along super well and have chemistry so having a hard time letting this go.
If you want something serious at all, let him go. He literally said he wants something casual and isn’t making time for you.. I just graduated a competitive super busy program and still made time to see the person I liked at least once a week and text them back in a reasonable time frame or say I can’t because I’m busy
Makes sense - he didn’t say something casual thought. This is heir my hypothesis based on how he has been behaving so far :( he actually agreed to see where things go but who knows tbh
You say his texts are slow. What about the content? Are you having good conversations, or is it mostly one or two word answers? I ask because my husband and I both hate texting back quickly. When we started dating, and even now outside of covid, we’ll take like two hours to respond to each other but it’ll be long and a flowing conversation where we’re both asking questions (think paragraph texts lol). But neither of us are ever gonna respond in 5 minutes or even 30 unless it’s an emergency. Now it’s different during Covid when we’re in the same place all day and our texts are more like “ready for lunch?” but work and meetings and school get in the way and it’s nice to not have to think shoot I need to respond right now otherwise they’ll think I’m mad or uninterested.
One caveat tho: if he’s taking a day or more to respond, drop him. But if it’s just a couple hours and he’s making an effort in the content it could be worth giving him a chance
Good point! He responds during the same day but it takes like an hour or two and he apologizes if it’s more than that. I’ve also never been a big tester but his responses are fine - not the most engaging but also not super low effort. It really depends honestly