{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "A male colleague of mine, who just joined the team this week, has made inappropriate advancements towards me during a team event, touching my leg while talking to me and saying how pretty I am. Worst thing is he’s joining my project too… It’s a no brainer that this is unacceptable, but it’s the first time this happened to me in a work setting and I’m unsure how to handle it. What steps should I take first? Report to HR immediately or speak to my team’s partner first? Any advice is appreciated", "post_id": "6144ffbfb3649a0029a7c119", "reply_count": 27, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

A male colleague of mine, who just joined the team this week, has made inappropriate advancements towards me during a team event, touching my leg while talking to me and saying how pretty I am. Worst thing is he’s joining my project too… It’s a no brainer that this is unacceptable, but it’s the first time this happened to me in a work setting and I’m unsure how to handle it. What steps should I take first? Report to HR immediately or speak to my team’s partner first? Any advice is appreciated

likesmart
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HR first If you tell your team they may bring it to HR with a “reinterpretation” Protect yourself. Keep the majority of conversations in writing. If on zoom record

likesmart

Yes this. HR first for sure.

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1) Write everything up in a clear manner including dates, times, locations, phrase and actions and names of potential witnesses. 2) Schedule a meeting with your team’s partner via Outlook. Provide the write up. If the partner doesn’t offer to loop in HR, let the partner know that you will also be letting HR know that you’ve had this conversation.  3) Document in a follow up email that you spoke with them with a brief summary including your original write up. 4) Follow up with HR to let them know you’ve taken steps. Send all mails and calendar events to a non-work email or BCC your non-pro email. Create a paper trail and CYA.

likesmarthelpful

P1, I’m in Europe and that’s illegal here due to privacy laws. I can only make a recording with their consent

Ew I’m so sorry. Have you directly told him to stop? I would absolutely do that first.

likesmart

Yeah, agree… I couldn’t care less about his career at this point, it’s mine I’m trying to protect along with my reputation

likesmart

Hi Op! First of all, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. My thoughts on this… If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable confronting him you should not feel compelled to do so. Good advice above to keep a record of what’s happened and when. Personally, I’m an advocate of raising it to your project leadership team or someone you trust on the project. As a lead myself, I’d care to know and be able to take action. But, you shouldn’t feel compelled to if you feel uncomfortable doing that. I wish you the best of luck and once again, so sorry you are dealing with this.

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You’ve got this OP

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Report his azz to HR. He should know better. I’m sorry you have to deal with something like this.

likesmart

Thanks for the support!

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REPORT TO HR ASAP. Who knows how far this douche will try to take this. Protect yourself and your female colleagues.

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I would go to HR first so it’s documented as accurately and as timely as possible. You may not get the results you would want or expect for a Partner/Project Leadership and that could complicate things, or lead to frustration. As C1 said, definitely document everything.

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Just an update on the situation: I’ve talked to the partner of my team about this and we informed HR together. I kept the correspondence as advised. He has taken action by talking to my colleague, who then came to apologize to me and tell me how embarrassed he is. The partner told me it’s that guy’s responsibility to make amends, but it’s up to me to decide whether trust can be restored. In the meantime I’ve heard rumors that he has been disrespecting other female colleagues at work. I’m staying away from him, that’s for sure

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Well, at least you put it on his radar that some people will go file against him. In the mean time you’re totally doing the right thing. Steer clear. 👏🏼

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You’re amazing OP!

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Just tell the man to lay off with the touching and that some people may not be so kind in the future. If he does it again report it up!

No, you absolutely need to report him. This is not the first time he’s done this. Never is

likesmart

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