{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "A while back, SO and I got in a fight and he said he wished I had taken time to date other men so that I could see he is right in what he tells me (and basically that any other man will also tell me that I do certain things the wrong way). Since that argument, my self confidence feels shot and I don’t know if I should bring it up and talk through it or just try to deal.", "post_id": "612c1af6ae09330030c6aa2c", "reply_count": 16, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

A while back, SO and I got in a fight and he said he wished I had taken time to date other men so that I could see he is right in what he tells me (and basically that any other man will also tell me that I do certain things the wrong way). Since that argument, my self confidence feels shot and I don’t know if I should bring it up and talk through it or just try to deal.

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The answer is simple, grant his wish and try dating other men lol. Bye boy bye ✌🏼

likefunny

Talk through it, sweeping it under the rug will cause resentment.

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Can you give some examples? Would be helpful to give better advice. Definitely bring it up though, don’t let it fester.

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How to dress? Not even my actual dad tried that BS with me. Ugh.

Also, if he is lecturing you in the paternalistic way you’ve written it here, then he’s …well… a paternalistic dad type dope. Put on a daffodil tutu and tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

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What are these certain things? He could be right.. or be could just be gaslighting you.

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Yeah curious what about, honestly. Could be something where experience isn't needed at all and he's just preying on that insecurity. But hard to tell without context

Things like cooking/cleaning/how to dress
To be honest, he just picks on everything, regardless of what it is

He is older than me and tends to have this opinion that I have needed his help learning what to do and how to do things (daily life things) if that makes sense

His point was that if I had dated someone else and another man gave me the same criticisms that he does, then I would understand that he’s right and I need to learn how to do a lot of things “the right way”

Personally, I think that I do a lot (and I do a lot at home). So if I dated someone else they would probably appreciate me and not give as many criticisms

Keep in mind - this is coming from someone who grew up in a more “men do this, woman do that” culture, not in the US

Thanks all - he’s Asian

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