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Just bring up the fully remote offer to new job folks. See if they can match it. If not, and you really want to stay at current job, thank you for the offer but I have to turn it down.
Coming from someone who left public to go to private for WLB because I now have a little one, here’s what I would do:
1) Ask for a pay bump on top of their current remote offer at your current job. If they turn you down, leave.
2) Tell your new job that you have another offer and you want to see if they’re willing to negotiate. Use this opportunity to ask if they can offer some flexibility and let you work remotely or hybrid (1,2,or 3 days in the office) and explain your reasons why. If they can’t or won’t negotiate, stick it out at the new job, but keep applying for something that can offer what you need, career growth and flexibility for family responsibilities.
I have so much flexibility at my new place and I can’t emphasize how important that’s been. With a small one in daycare, you may run into situations where they need to stay home (they get sick from other kids, daycare shuts down because of holidays/staff meetings that don’t line up with you work holidays, regular visits to the doctor/dental office, etc) and to always be in the office means you’ll need to use more of your pto for the above or rely on your significant other to step up (not sure what your SO does for a living and whether they have flexibility to be remote or if they’re expected to travel for work often). Sometimes you’ll get an emergency call from daycare and you’ll need to pick up your child in the middle of the day. Having an employer that understands and respects the additional responsibilities that come with parenting by offering you remote flexibility will make a world of difference. If they expect you to work like a machine with no personal life, I’d say it’s a sign they’re not the right company.
I would stay because I much prefer being remote and the flexibility it provides, especially with kids (although I don’t have any so take that with a grain of salt). I personally would stay remote and still put my kid in daycare a few days a week if working full time. This decision is so personal and dependent on your preferences though. What do you want to do?
Tell them that you are very thankful for the offer, but your company offered you the ability to be remote and after further consideration you’ve decided it’s best for you and your family at this time. Maybe they’ll counter and let you be remote, if not, they’ll learn what it’s like competing with companies who allow their employees that flexibility.
I would think about why you left, and make a couple more requests if you want to stay!
Yea, actually a senior management position on my team just got eliminated to save cost.