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As long as you don’t brag about not drinking no one will/should care.
More and more people are not drinking these days. It’s totally fine to have a soda or water, even if everyone else is drinking wine or beer I’m one of those who is probably drinking wine or beer, but whenever someone tells me they don’t drink I don’t think twice and I’ll always make sure there’s another option so you don’t feel pressured. It’s really more about having the time to relax with others than it is about the drinking
drink a club soda and gain some confidence
Look for other ways to connect with people older than you. I complimented a senior coworker's outfit the other day and all of the sudden it turned into a full blown conversation. Did someone mention they vacation where your family did growing up? Did someone mention one of their kids plays a sport you do? Is one of them passionate about baking on the side? Discover this gems about people and get digging to make those connections.
Club soda with lime. I was also the youngest person on my team for years (including the interns) relate to them on other levels & subjects.
I've had some of me deepest and most enlightening convos over a drink so I believe engaging convos don't go away b.c someone has had a drink or two
OP, I agree that not drinking is becoming more and more socially acceptable and you should own it. Not flaunt it in a moralistic way, which it doesn't sound like you do anyway, but if asked directly, own it with a plain and simple I don't drink alcohol reply and move on immediately from the subject like it's no topic to dig into. I wouldn't make any effort in buying drinks that look like alcoholic ones just to fit in. That's not the way to make it part of the normal. People need to learn not to judge or check themselves, not for you to hide for doing nothing wrong.
You've gotten great advice above already on how to improve your conversations. I greatly recommend asking meaningful and unusual questions if you want to elicit deeper convos. And always latch on to anything personal people say to engage them more. Critical skill with clients too. We all love it when others are interested in our thoughts and lives and opinions. Human over business any day and your professional connections will be transformed.
You can't be too young - this is an industry filled with youngings
If you don't drink you don't drink. Have a nice drink with no alcohol and be social.
Tip: Shirley Temples make it look like you're drinking 😉
AE1 I'm generally a very confident/social person but the small talk often becomes too mind numbing and exhausting. Not saying I gotta talk about rocket science, but I generally like to have an engaging conversation, but chances of that diminish exponentially with each added drink. Which is all cool, but then when I take part in that small talk, cultural generation barriers make it hard to relate. Much easier with those around my age +/- 5, but far and few.
LB1 Yeah that makes sense. It also could just be that I switched teams in my company and the new team is more clique-y. It was much easier with my old team.
SAE1 Very valid. I gotta make a better effort of doing that. I think my team's clique-yness hasn't helped much, but like with AE3, I'm sure that happens everywhere
Read Dry by Augusten Burroughs and you will thank your lucky stars that you don’t drink. It’s ok not to and maybe you need to hang out with different folks?
Just because you don't drink doesn't mean you can't make connections and network with your coworkers. One of my agency friends doesn't drink because it's against her faith but that didn't stop her from hanging out with everyone. She always saw things as being a sober fly on the wall to our occasional shit show ways. You don't need alcohol to make your personality shine, account people are people people, work your social skills and you'll be fine.
Oh god I can relate. Even with drinks it's been hard to break into my new team bc they're so cliquey
Thanks guys, very great advice truly.