Advice: how to grow a relationship with your MIL? I cringe at times when with my partner’s mom. She says things that irk me.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Go out on dates with her! Ask her for coffee, learn about her as a person / friend.

She doesn’t live near us. We see her often enough but she likes to be around her son. So 1-1 is extremely rare. I ask her questions when all together and I find her a bit pretentious.

Ours just evolved naturally but I lucked out with mine. Whenever we’re in town visiting I make a point of having lunch or coffee with her. I text her cute photos of us or our dog that my partner wouldn’t think to text his mom. She is so different than my mom and offers some qualities I always wished I had in a mom. She also has three sons and always wanted a daughter so we both found something in our relationship that we were both looking for.

Yeah this is mine. Very cringe, not warm, says inappropriate/not socially acceptable things, uncultured. I don’t think I’ll ever really have a relationship with her. Her and current DIL have a very contentious relationship. My mom is also not a fan of her’s. I’m polite and cordial but I’m not trying to be friends. I know this will make my SO have to choose between us when I have kids but I just can’t.

I wish it wasn’t that way and I got one like what M1 describes as I aways envisioned that kind of relationship but instead I got something not as bad as “Monster in Law” but still not great.

Mine is also disingenuous (probably relates to the lack of warmth) but says her son is lucky to be with me and that the family is so lucky to have me (which is also a point of contention with current DIL). That situation sounds way worse than mine and honestly I wouldn’t be able to maintain a relationship whatsoever. The one thing my mom keeps having me consider is kids: when you have kids with this person, knowing you don’t like their mother, will your husband pick your side when it comes to how they’re raised/how often they see that side of the family/etc or will they side with mom? My SO somewhat knows I’m not a huge fan of his mom (but not the whole extent and why) but has already shown me that I’d have his support when needed. You need to figure out if your SO will do the same.

like

Related Posts

Hello Fishes,

I am currently working in healthcare as a coordinator and pursuing mba full time in Canada - I’ll be graduating in September.. I wish to get into finance, specifically investment banking or asset management or fintech. I already hold ~4 years of experience from India.
I would appreciate any leads or referrals in such industries.

like

What is the average salary for a Senior Associate at PwC ? I am looking for a Developer Role. I just wanted to understadn the compensation and work life balance at PwC ? Deloitte EY

like

Can someone help me witha referral for Analytics role at JPMC
Tech; SQl, Python and Visualisation experience
YOE: 4
Relevant: 2

like
likeupliftingfunny

Anyone from Siemens client project?? How is it ?

like

Open to remote SDR/BDR inbound or outbound.
5 months of Mid Market / Enterprise 100% Outbound SDR experience with telecom and retail background. Any openings or referrals?

like

What brands have in-house production teams? Interested in going in-house but it’s not always easy to figure out who has in-house and who doesn’t. I’d love to learn about as many as possible to explore opportunities. Thank you!

like

Hi!! Is anyone attending the Catalyst conference in New York on the 14th?

likesmart

Does anyone here work for Upwork?

like

We've transitioned to doing report at bedside with a small report allowed in the nurses room. I love it way more than I thought!

like

How far or how long would you commute for a job that can launch your career? I have a good opportunity but they want a hybrid setup with 3 days in the office. Commute is 28 miles and would take 35-50 minutes each way. Trying to see if it’s worth it.

like

I’m thinking of picking up a few freelance projects to make the most out of our everlasting WFH situation. Does anyone have a freelance site they like and would recommend? There’s so many at this point, curious as to what everyone else is using and what kinds of projects you’ve been able to find.

like

Anyone sold their lease to Carvana? How was the process?

like

Does anyone feel like they need to keep saving more, even though you’re already doing what you can (maxing 401k, emergency, building up a nest egg, investing, etc etc etc)? How do you know when you’re good and it’s enough?

like

Hi guys need your advice.. Is it a good idea to join my previous company if they are offering better compensation and position?

like

What is the average employee health and benefits account manager making? I have 7 years of experience in Employee Benefits.

like

9/15 Thread (BC):

like

Just curious, has anybody invested on affordable housing in Gurgaon, India? Or got any insight for a first time investor.

Hi guys 👋🏻
This is regarding the interest amount of our EPF.

For you guys,is the interest details showing any amount in the EPFO member passbook? Or is it showing '0' like me(As seen in the photo below)?

Is the government yet to credit the interest amounts of our PF balances? Or is something wrong with my PF account only?

Any inputs will be really appreciated 🙂

Post Photo
like

Additional Posts in Women In Consulting

Well I did a very bad thing... we found out this week my husband’s father has an aggressive terminal cancer. My father in law doesn’t want to tell anyone and I am supposed to not say anything. The only reason I know is because we live with him. When I was speaking to my mom on the phone I burst out crying and had to tell her, and I had another burst out crying event where I told a friend. I told my husband this and he is rightfully furious with me. :( not sure what I can do to make it right...

like

The joys of being an adult - just refinanced w00t 🥰

likeupliftingfunny

Feeling in a rut. Want to plan a trip but not able to get excited about traveling/other parts of life. Is this normal?

like

Building a free to use networking platform for women - idea is to create subgroups within it such as consulting, finance, etc but also interest- based ones for eg running or mba apps or advice groups on how to deal w workplace related issues.

Want it to be a replacement for the infamous ‘boys club’ in male dominated industries. Would you guys be interested in something like this?

like

“The realization that you can meet someone and it can just feel easy and not like work is amazing” —Rupam, Indian Matchmaking

likeuplifting

What do you guys do if you feel like your boyfriend is pulling away? Also how to tell if pulling away or just doesn’t have much to say?

like

Any single ladies in atlanta who own a townhome/condo? In what neighborhood do you live? Starting the house hunt and wanted some insight.

like

Thoughts on dating on your own project? Fell in love but don’t know what to do.

Has anyone ordered anything from Everlane before? Nervous about my order and the quality!

When did you start going gray? I’m almost 31 and have found a few grays in the middle of my head. I have dark hair. Thinking of just letting it be as it will make me look older? I have a young face

like

Ladies, take note: Corona pick up lines are here.

Post Photo
likefunny

Does it mean anything if your HR consultant randomly adds you on LinkedIn? I’ve never even met her in person or talked to her over the phone. I’m probably overthinking but just curious. Thanks!

How do u keep up confidence when dating? I have this issue where if I gain weight, I stop dating or really going out entirely until it’s gone. Which sucks bc I gain in the summer n lose in winter 😞

like

Asking for advice: Hi ladies, how do you tell your SO that you want private time with your friends/colleagues? For context, my SO and I have been living together for 2 years. He doesn’t have a lot of friends and is a quiet type. His current friends are all our mutual friends. We do enjoy spending time just us two a lot, especially during this pandemic. However, I do have a group of colleagues/friends that I’m close to and usually prefer to hang with them seperately. (cont. in comment)

like

A while ago, I dated one of my managers. It ended. Nobody knew about it & now I am reporting to him. I‘m afraid to report for bad optics & potential career hits. But I can’t be naive. Any advice?

like

Does anyone have tips for social anxiety at work? I’ve just moved to a new office in a new city - it feels cliquey and is giving me anxiety I haven’t felt since high school. I’ve been feeling so stressed that I’m just working from home, which can’t be helping me make friends / meet new people.

like

Ladies, I have a townhouse that I'd like to rent out furnished. I'm looking to do long term, but having trouble finding a property management company that will do this (they all say unfurnished). I would like to find someone to manage it for me as I will be out of state. Anyone here rent out properties and have any suggestions on how to go about it or recommendations of property management companies? I'm in Colorado if that helps. Thank you!

like

Has anyone had to reschedule their wedding last minute due to circumstances outside of their control? My wedding is in 32 days in Mexico and our last deposit is due on Tuesday (cont.)

likehelpful

Matching pajama sets that won’t break the bank? (<$100)

like

So I’m an undergrad starting as an associate in consulting at PwC without a business background, I have really strong clinical knowledge and have been hired for healthcare consulting but I honestly don’t know the basics of accounting/finance/data analytics. I feel way over my head, any tips on how to give myself working knowledge or books I could read would be GREATLY appreciated!

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal