{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "After another failed relationship I think I am going to look into having a child on my own. I’ll be 34 in a few months. Has anyone done this or thinking the same?", "post_id": "61b788528cb9890027eb71b1", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

After another failed relationship I think I am going to look into having a child on my own. I’ll be 34 in a few months. Has anyone done this or thinking the same?

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I think you should consider whether you’ll be able to give the child the time and attention as a single parent that they will require to have a good life. Also if you keep having failed relationships maybe you should explore why that keeps happening before creating a human you’d have a relationship with? Yes, single moms can be awesome and lots of people in relationships are horrible parents but I think you should explore why you want to bring a child into the world alone if you’ve been unsuccessful in other relationships. It’s not fair to put that pressure on the child and could come off as you creating another human to fill a void.

funnylikesmarthelpful

Wow I think this is out of line. OP, don’t let this get to you - I’m sure you put your best into the relationships and sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped. Check out r/SingleMothersByChoice for perspectives and advice. Good luck 💕💕

likeuplifting

I haven’t but really consider the life of a single parent and the various types of support you may need.

likefunny

Very helpful! Thank you that made me shed a tear.

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A former colleague did this in her early 40s (IVF with donor). I recently caught up with her and she seems very happy and her baby is beautiful. She is very well-off and has full-time live-in help and has family close by. On multiple occasions she’s said it would not be possible to do without that help and she still wishes she had more coverage sometimes (overnight for example). She’s planning to work for another 10 years to secure their financial future, then retire and be a full-time mom.

likeuplifting

I have professional support and stability (high level government position currently), and a very supportive family. That being said I know it would be very difficult and of course I would rather do it with my “team” and supportive partner.

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Two of my friends did this, they went to an LGBTQ friendly sperm bank. One has two children from the same donor. 1) In 2020, there were about 15.31 million children living with a single mother in the United States, and about 3.27 million children living with a single father. So your situation is not new or unique. 2) Most women are caught unaware when they become single mothers you are Innoway in a better position because you have anticipated it and can prepare for it. But still, you will need to have support even if it’s through family and friends.

likehelpful

Late 30s. Same.

likeuplifting

On the risk on sounding like a bitch here but... Your initial statement does not sound good, at all. "After another failed relationship, I have decided to have a child"?... Are you sure you are having a kid for the right reasons? Again, no idea of the context, just basing myself on the 1 line but it raises a flag, for me.

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No it’s not because of losing the relationship. It’s because this was someone I was planning to build a family with and at my age and by the time I meet someone else….It’s not a consequence of the relationship or feeling lonely.

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Almost 32 and thinking the same

likeuplifting

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