{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "All-my dad has been guilt tripping me into visiting him. He is 8 hours away driving without stopping. I am pregnant and am not traveling anywhere where I can’t drive non stop - not even seeing my in laws 90 minutes away. I know it sounds crazy but that is where I am. He half jokingly said I could wear Depends. Please tell me I’m not crazy and that it’s okay for me to not go and my dad should be at least somewhat understanding. We don’t have the best relationship.", "post_id": "5ef9361c27e30d002fdf076b", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

All-my dad has been guilt tripping me into visiting him. He is 8 hours away driving without stopping. I am pregnant and am not traveling anywhere where I can’t drive non stop - not even seeing my in laws 90 minutes away. I know it sounds crazy but that is where I am. He half jokingly said I could wear Depends. Please tell me I’m not crazy and that it’s okay for me to not go and my dad should be at least somewhat understanding. We don’t have the best relationship.

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

You are not crazy. If it’s so easy to drive 8 hours without stopping, maybe he could make the drive if you’d allow him to visit. Roads run both ways.

like

Please don’t go. Is there anyway he could visit you (if you wanted that)?

like

I offered that. He hates New York and feels his kids should visit him. It was very hard for me to tell him I couldn’t go - I cried I felt so bad. He can be manipulative. But I also think it’s ridiculous for him to say I should wear an adult diaper to visit him.

like

Your dad sounds kinda toxic tbh

like

Ugh I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. You are DEF not crazy for not going and you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it

This is ridiculous and of course you don’t have to go! Sounds like you shouldn’t even try. It’s sad that your father isn’t considering your physical limitations and circumstances at the moment.

like

You're NOT crazy

like

I do think driving 8h is excessive, but FWIW, the 90 minute trip to see your in-laws should be ok? I’m 32 weeks & normally live in NYC, but have been staying about 2h outside of the city for the last few months. We drive in to see our parents every few weeks. I’ve never seen cleaner rest stop bathrooms in my life. Everyone is super paranoid about COVID, so everything is spotless. Just wear a mask when you go in & keep some hand sanitizer in the car.

like

I could probably do 90 minutes. But from an equity perspective to make dad not feel upset we won’t. I don’t want to use public restrooms though - even if it is clean.

Are you going out for other things (like groceries)? Why can’t you drive 90 min to in-laws without stopping?

No I am not. It’s using the bathroom and, honestly, psychologically not wanting to be far from home. In non-Covid times I would maybe feel different. But in this way this is my instinct to protect myself and baby - even if it’s slightly irrational.

like

Don’t freaking go. Full stop

Not irrational at all. Pregnant lady here dying to get out of nyc. My husband doesn’t even want us to go an hour away for fear of not having access to bathrooms, etc. It’s stressful. I’m with you. Dont go and don’t feel bad!

Don’t go - FaceTime instead! Covid19 is real and you’re pregnant and shouldn’t put you or your baby at risk!

Related Posts

Universal Orlando trip? I am seeing an uptick in covid cases and articles sayin the area is "crisis mode". We have a group all vaxxed except for 1 -small child and 1 half vaxxed (next shot isnt until we get back). Would you go or is this fear mongering again?

likefunny

I have got an offer based in Boblingen, Germany with 60k euro as fixed. Will it be enough for a couple with a 3 year old kid ? My major expense would be accommodation, groceries, kid’s school and transportation. Please do let me know your valuable inputs. TIA

Have an offer from KPMG Global Services for a decent enough Pay. The opportunity is with Google Cloud Tower for Assistant Manager post. Asking on behalf of a friend who is expecting her baby soon. So work life would be top priority PS: Holding offers for Sapient and EPAM with almost the same pay package Please help with your inputs if it would be prudent to join KMPG or anyone of the others mentioned

like

Have anyone tried to get b2 visitor visa renewal for parents recently. My parent's visa is expiring soon and i am trying to book renewal appt. Are they providing Dropbox appt for renewals or in person dates for Mumbai.

like

How does maternity leave affect your bonus and time towards partnership at your firm? My firm pro-rates your bonus based on the months you worked (no credit for leave) and can dock you a year from partnership in their discretion. They are more likely to dock you a year if you took leave for more than one child.

like

Am about to be a single parent for a few months as my spouse is going to another country for work. Any tips for how to manage a 3 year old while having a crazy workload?

like

My father who lives in India has some dollars in his international account. Can he transfer them to my US account ? Is there a limit after which there can be tax implications for me

like

Hi Moms- Curious to get a sense of what your different parental leave policies look like and how you have liked them. My company gave 12 weeks paid and I felt it was woefully short for my first. Before having my second, I'm interested in pushing my company to increase the time and am curious to hear what other companies offer. Beyond just the time, was your company flexible? Is it the same for all parents? Did it feel like enough? Thank you!

like

Help!! The arm's reach clear vue co sleeper is out of stock everywhere. Baby is due mid October. Any other recommendations similar to the arm's reach?.

like

Hello! A senior associate that I work for is expecting and she will be going on parental leave soon. She has been a great mentor to me and so I wanted to get/send her a gift congratulating her on the new baby once she goes on her leave. Any ideas for a gift? (We aren’t incredibly close so it doesn’t seem as easy as shopping for a friend/family member who just had a baby, if that makes sense) TIA!

like

Hi Fishes, This might probably a stupid question, but I want to get it clarified. Lets say to save taxes, I am transferring a certain amount as rent along with rental agreement to my parent's to claim hra excemption. Would I be able to transfer this amount from my parent's account to my account back again? Will income tax trace these transactions as well?

funnylike

Expecting a baby soon! Any tips to balancing career and family? Still want to stay in consulting for the next 2-3 years but don't want to lose my time with the baby 😅

funnylike

EY Parental leave question: how many weeks were you actually out? When I took my leave 3 years ago, I counted total of 21 weeks of leave. That’s including one firm winter holiday week. I remember I initially thought I would be back after 16 weeks, but then in the middle of my time off I got an email from Leave Team with the breakdown and it actually was 21 weeks. Can someone who took leave recently tell me the actual number of weeks?

like

My spouse is about to go out of town for a long weekend. This is going to leave me with my step daughter. We haven't been getting along lately and she's been in full teenage and moody prime. She isn't a bad kid (good grades ect) she's just a nightmare to live with. Any advice? Im really nervous about being left alone with her this time.

like

What’s an acceptable paternity leave if your agency has unlimited vacation?

likefunny

Could someone break down what the “mommy track” is? I’m considering having children in the next couple of years and weighing out what my options are once becoming a parent (stay big law or move in-house). Is there a standard decrease in hours and pay? Does it depend on the firm? How does it affect your future as an attorney in big law?

like

Today I got a raise that was larger than my mother's yearly salary. gave me a strange feeling.

like

My father gave me an unopened bottle of chivas regal 12-yr that was purchased in 1984. Was curious if that’s still good to drink?

Post Photo
like

What's the best way to announce a broken engagement to family? Driving to my parent's for dinner and I haven't told them yet. So nervous they'll be disappointed :/

What are y’all asking for Christmas this year? F 36 years old with a 3 month old baby. I need ideas! Should I ask for gift card for a Massage?

like

Additional Posts

Citi folks - new at citi and just found out that they do not provide laptops 🤯. Now I’m concerned with how the technology is otherwise? How is WLB? Do they reimburse if you purchase a laptop to use? Any insights will be greatly appreciated. TIA

like

How much salary could I ask for for band 30 Sr analyst product development role? Exp: total exp 4+ years + full time mba IIM

Hi all- Got approached for a Director role within Workday practice at KPMG. Any idea on TC? Specifically looking for sign on bonus range since I will loose significant RSU options. Base range is 275-300K. Any input is appreciated . TIA!

like

For those in smaller high growth tech companies, where do you turn for resources on org development, engagement, trends, etc.? I’m moving from a large tech org to a a 150 person company. SHRM does not seem relevant at all. Podcasts, social media followings, etc?

like

Hi fellow consultants of Indonesia, How much is the compensation for associates in Strategy&, Bain, and Kearney in Indonesia ?

🐠 From Europe here. From what I read in the posts, I have the doubt about the prestige in the CV that those strategy firms that are not MBB (OW, ADL, RB,...) have in the US. Sometimes it seems that an advisory team from a B4 has more prestige than a T2 strategy firm. Is this correct in the United States? In Europe it is not.

like

What’s the housing/condo market like in DC right now? Buyers vs sellers? Looking for something in DC with preference for DuPont/Admo/shaw/mt vernon area and Chevy chase MD if need be. Budget is 900k.

like

Which is the one that is actually the rankings as this time? AP or CFP rankings? Talking about NCAAF

like

Looking for any leads on a sublease available end of Feb for max $1700! 25 y.o. guy WFH as a tech consultant. Is clean and responsible :)

funnylike

What are some of your favorite interview questions to ask when interviewing paralegals/support staff? I’m sitting in on interviews next week and it’s been a while since I was the one getting to ask the questions. For context, the position is for a paralegal position doing civil litigation and family law litigation. Small firm (4 attorneys total).

like

Anyone interested in working as a project manager for tax clients please reach out for a referral 🙂 40 hours a week 50 max

funny

Keep hearing that most exits in LCOL cities will take a payout if you’re a PL, but that there are a lot of roles that are remote, job market is hot, etc. so that most PLs are getting a pay bump. How do you reconcile these two?

like

Is anyone interested in casing together or looking for an accountability partner to get interview ready? Would love to meet in person after office hours. Live in downtown Chicago for reference.

like

It’s Friday Baby! 🥂

Post Photo
like

Currently in FSO, working on a pretty big client and the partner on this engagement is a very “big deal”, a lot of people are scared of him. If I want to change to commercial audit do you think my current team and partner would give me a hard time? How do teams view a staff that wants to change team after one busy season ? I’ve been with the firm/team for only a few months.

like

Is MBA required to join Digital McKinsey?

like

Hello folks, I am to join KPMG Global Services next month, I did my research and some people have mentioned the exit opportunities from KGS are not so good as its more of a backend job. Will this make my next switch more difficult? Can someone please throw light on this? I am a JAVA full stack developer and I have been offered 20LPA for 5 yoe

like

Can anyone tell me how is the work life balance in Citi Bank? The opening is for credit analyst role in GCB group, which I think of the retail division. I am currently in Commercial banking and the work life balance is pretty bad. Also what salary can I expect at C11 level? Citi

like

Anyone here from MBB in Toronto willing to connect. Moving to Canada for personal reasons and would love to hear more about the industry and practice

funnylike

Has wfh made you change life priorities, how ?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal