{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Alright people. What are my chances (25M) of getting it on with my (45F) recently divorced neighbor? I'm a young, good looking and sharp dressed consultant.", "post_id": "60f4f2dac2bb2400228df2d9", "reply_count": 142, "vote_count": 32, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession " }

Alright people. What are my chances (25M) of getting it on with my (45F) recently divorced neighbor? I'm a young, good looking and sharp dressed consultant.

likefunnyuplifting
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As a 30 year old female with concerns about getting older, I say: bless your heart, you're doing God's work here. Go forth and get sum baby.

likefunnyupliftingsmart

Yah 🥺

likefunny

If you ever need a job reference in the future, just let me know. We’re all proud of you kid! - KPMG

upliftinglike
Recent IconRecent

AYOO! Couldn't wait, went ALL-IN on Tuesday evening! Hahaha it was CRAZY! I decided to go for it when I saw my neighbor clearing out heavy boxes from her garage. It was the perfect opportunity for me to make my move. I boldly walked over and asked if I could lend her a hand. She politely refused, as I was still wearing my suit, but I wasn't taking no for an answer. Fast forward, we're in her kitchen with iced drinks, and we're chatting for about a quarter hour. Eventually there was a lull in conversation, and this is was the turning point. I noticed she was looking at me with a strange expression, almost as if deliberating a question she was too uncomfortable to ask. I took it from there. I brushed my hair to the side, stood up straight and we locked eyes. I lowered my voice to a whisper and professed my romantic feelings towards her, stating that she was absolutely beautiful. The effect was immediate. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she started to blush. Suddenly, tears came to her eyes and she gave a faint smile. She then reached for my shoulders and pulled me into an embrace. We stayed like that for awhile. I was so dejected. I'd blown it. I'm only a 25 year old. It was too soon after the divorce. I started to apologize, but got cut short by her lips pressing hard against mine. I closed my eyes and pulled her in, tasting her wonderful mouth. People, I have never tasted anything so sweet in my life! Her firey passion, the hunger she must have been feeling, her body was trembling uncontrollably! I gently reciprocated by feeling for her tongue, and she gasped realizing this was for real. She fumbled for my shirt buttons, I wear "hidden-placket" 🤦 (how English of me), so I had to take matters into my own hands. I literally tore the shirt off of my back, then worked on unbuttoning hers. She was already lunging at my pants, breathing heavily from our kiss. Alright. Um. I'm going to stop here. Before any of you submit complaints that I'm not relaying the gritty details, I want you all to know that this was one of the most life-changing experiences I've ever had! In fact, I don't even think I'll be able to date girls my age anymore! There was something so 'off limits' and raunchy about being with an older woman. Ironically, I'd initially presumed that my youthful age would give me an advantage in terms of stamina, but boy was I wrong! I was no match for this 45 year old! The techniques she taught me, the things she did to me, I cannot even begin to describe. Both of us were raging with lust, we couldn't stop! We legit went at it the entire night! I kept begging for her to slow down or to take a break, but she was relentless, hounding and begging me for more. So I did. I gave it to her again and again. When we finally finished, she was panting heavily and the bed was a soaking mess. There was also this really hot, distant-dreamy look in her eyes that remained even as I left... I'm actually pretty worried about it... End of story, I just told my boss I'll be taking PTO for the remainder of the week. Was a last minute decision, but I realized - as I gathered the remains of my french-cuffed shirt at 6am, that I was in no shape for productive work. I'm really exhausted rn, but I can't get the grin off my face! I'm also so excited to take her out for dinner this weekend! The amount of stares we're gonna get as we walk around arm-in-arm, is going to be incredible. Anyways, thank you all for your endless amounts of encouragement and "chizuk!" Was great fun!

likeupliftingfunny

😈noice

69%

funnylikesmart

You sir are winning. 25 definitely goes into 45 once with a few left over. Get get it king!

likeupliftingfunny

Hire me too I’m great😃

funny

Um, I'm trying to work on a client project, but directly from my window, I can see my neighbor picking up boxes. I feel so weird, I'm legit staring 🥴 Wednesday night seems sooo far away, lol

funnylike

Shoot your shot 🏀

likeuplifting

🥰

like

Somewhere between 0-100%, I think

likefunnysmart

I think it’s 69.420%

funnylike

Shoot your shot and when it doesn’t work, send her my way

likefunny

Spoken like a true SM 🙌🏻

likefunnysmart

Thank you all for the support, lol! But should I feel bad? It's purely ego and lust 😅

likefunny

😈

likefunny

Go for it, got nothing to lose 💯

likeuplifting

You got this.🥳

upliftinglike

🥳

like

Shooters gonna shoot 🔥 if only that ball was in my court

likefunny

Only a dude from kpmg lmao

likeupliftingfunny

To the moon my guy, rock on🤘

likeuplifting

Someone give this man an assist. You got it

likeuplifting

get it!!!

likeuplifting

Shoot your shot

like

Feel this is a novel soon to be movie

likefunny

@Deloitte 3 Lol, I need this to become a Masterclass

funny

#sexpositivity

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