Alright please advise: My first name can be used for both male and female identifying people. In addition, my last name can also be used as a males first name. Let’s just say my name is: Alex John. Often times when people meet me, they refer to me as my last name (John), thinking that I am male. They’ll do this even after I signed my full name to an email (first, last) OR they’ll assume that I’m male from my first name (Alex). Either way I identify as female and I’m bothered by their assumptions

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Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Can you have she/her pronouns listed in your signature?
Also a helpful note, like (“Alex is my first name!”)

likesmarthelpful

Agree, perfect case for adding pronouns to the signature!

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In your email signature use your middle initial to separate your first and last name and then also add your pronouns. Example: Alex L. John (she/her).

likesmart

I have an ambiguous and uncommon first name. People often spell my name wrong or choose an entirely different first name to call me by, that starts with the same letter. A couple of things I do to combat this:

In emails I have my pronouns and my headshot as my avatar. I also correct people each time they get my name wrong.

In meetings with new clients or colleagues, I always introduce myself, with my pronouns, before people get a chance to pronounce my name incorrectly.

I have also been known to ignore questions addressed to me, when people call me the wrong name. I then say, I’m sorry, was that addressed to me? My name is “Alex”.

Good luck! It’s exhausting.

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Headshot / avatar is a good one too!

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I had a similar problem with my first name, it’s been a constant for my entire 20-year career .. I finally broke down and added a few letters to my name to make it appear more feminine - I don’t hate it, but it never occurred to me to add the pronouns - good call!!

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Same situation as OP. I frequently receive responses to my email that start off with “Hi John”

So annoying as my full name is in my signature block. I’m 52 and have been dealing with other people’s fumbling of my name forever.

I usually reply to the person saying that I find it unusual to be addressed by my last name at work, that I prefer to be called Alex.

PwC1 - I like your idea , wish it would work for my name!

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It's a good way to weed out people who don't know you! My maiden name was unpronounceable. I always knew the fakers. 😜

I have a colleague who is in a similar name situation and she always includes her middle name, Stephanie, at the end of every email. For example: Alex Stephanie John

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I think this is probably the way to go. My middle name is Elizabeth so I feel like that should help a bit

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Pronouns are perfect here! Adding a simple (she/her) to your email signature or slack profile makes it much easier for people to address you correctly; this also helps teach people to make fewer assumptions about people's identity. Not only does this help you but it helps others who struggle with this frustration every day!

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Just spell it out?
Ie: put in your standard signature line:

My first name is Alex
Pronouns: she/her

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Is there a "more feminine" sounding version of your name like there is with Alex = Alexandra?

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As someone who's name is almost always mispronounced, I'm not changing my given name because it's 'easier'. The few seconds it takes to correct aren't taking away from anyone's ability to do work.

likesmart

Thank you all! It’s comforting to hear other people deal with this too.

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I'm non-binary and my name is as well. We heavily promote pronouns. I don't correct people if they misuse my pronouns because I am okay with She/Him/They. But, I think it's okay too!

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If it helps—there’s a man at work where both first and last name are common first names. I constantly refer to him with his last name, it’s not on purpose, not a gendered thing—I’m not trying to be a jerk but somehow people with 2 first names confuses me and scrambles my brain. I’m sorry…

😂 they do. You get used to it after a while.

I would love this actually. You’ll probably get much more respect and much less pushback until people find out you’re a woman.

My name is very feminine but can be shortened to be ambiguous (eg Samantha —> Sam), and I wish I’d started out professionally as Sam instead of Samantha for this reason.

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