Always thought I would be with a NYC guy on fun, fancy dates in my future. Realizing now that everyone wants casual there, and in my hometown (here for covid), I make significantly more than most guys I go on dates with, many haven’t gone to college, but we have more similar interests and they are interested in a serious relationship. It feels like I’m settling and I’m so jealous of the people who do have the fun, exciting life in the city I dream of.

likefunnyhelpful
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I’ve dated the rich dudes who took me on fun and fancy dates, and they all had some screws loose and/or a drug habit. Nyc has an “excess” problem. Try to find someone you truly connect with. “Lifestyle” is overrated imo.

likesmart

I saw this Hallmark movie. Snooze.

likefunny

You don’t need to settle. You’ll find an amazing man you love and respect who will give you the love and affection and commitment you need - even in nyc. I met my wonderful husband in NYC

likeupliftingfunny

NYC very toxic place to live life. Many small towns and smaller cities much much better options if you’re willing to drop the must be in nyc mindset

likesmart

Take the country boy to the big 🍎!!

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Actually a goal of mine 😅 all of them hate the city so much but I wish they could see a part of my world!!

What’s your hometown? 👀

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🤔

Dating in nyc is juuuussstt the worst

upliftingsmart

Plenty of people meet, marry and have (and raise) children in NYC. It's just that transplants here for high powered jobs move here to live this free wheeling fantasy life they've seen in the movies and TV shows that drew them here.

I was born and raised in NYC and a lot of the people with whom I went to high school are married with children. People want to have relationships, but maybe avoid Manhattan/Brooklyn yuppie/hipster types (though even they often ultimately marry and have kids, they just do it later). Also, as a woman, I've found that many women even into their 30s and 40s want to date/marry/tame the cool, sexy guy. Those are the guys who will want to date casually until they realize that can't pull as many and/or as hot women as they used to and them will lock someone down quick in their 40s or 50s.

The guys who want to date seriously and get married are a little more conservative (generally, not necessarily politically) than most of these women would like. They're the guys work corporate jobs in finance and law that do that in the first place because they expect to support a family in the future. These men have what these women say they want, but then are written off by them because they're "too bro-y" and wear suits to work.

I worked at a real estate valuation/consulting firm where the office was full of these guys in their 20s and 30s and I tell you EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had a serious girlfriend except for one guy who lived with his parents and could only date Indian women. Another guy was single after the breakup of a multi-year relationship - but he was like 26 and had already been through a multi-year relationship. One guy was 24 and moved in with his girlfriend a couple months after starting at the firm.

It blew me away that so many desirable young guys in NYC were in committed relationships. That's not the narrative we expect to hear.

Meanwhile the single guys in their upper 30s and 40s were fu©kbois if they were even remotely attractive (and sometimes even when they weren't). One director who was hired later was in his 50s and a sexy, fit guy but a total fu©kboi.

So people DO have committed relationships in NYC. But with so many people you have to separate a lot of wheat from a lot of chaff...

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I also agree with your point that a lot of finance men are written off because of that. I have a very hard time connecting with them outside of their work as our hobbies and free time don’t have many similarities (they may even have little to no free time).

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My hometown is NYC and I want something serious in a sea full of casuals, so I’m out of luck

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When we going to Daniel’s🤪

funny

Don’t you mean Dorsia? 😉

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Why don’t you move to the city and live the life you wanted?

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Do you think it's bc in your hometown since you make so much more, guys wanna lock you down as opposed to the city where everyone has a really high comp?

likehelpful

I had some fun times in NYC, still miss it some days.

Settling is a thing. Better to realize it now than later.

Ah yes, the city of millions of people where absolutely nobody wants a serious relationship.

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