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Nothing sexier than doing the dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, planning activities, helping with homework, playing with the kids.
Do those things REGULARLY, not just once and expect immediate results, and there will be fireworks in the bedroom!
My wife does these every day and nope....still nothing
As a female, I’m going to chime in here and second some of the posts that I assume are from men. I agree that exhaustion is not an excuse. Yes kids can be exhausting and draining but a lot of things are exhausting and draining. And yet we don’t see men saying they lost sexual desire because of their 2000 billable requirement or being yelled at by partners and judges etc. And nobody here is telling wives to cover a depo or two so their husband can be more rested and ready for sex. The truth is that if someone is into sex and wants sex, they’ll have sex tired or not. At the very least a low key quickie before bed. Surely someone can muster the energy if they want to. The whole massage candle bath is non sense IMO. If that’s what is needed for sex, then how often are we talking about here? Is husband to budget for weekly spa massages? Monthly? Also as a woman if I feel I need a massage or a mani pedi I can book it myself and wouldn’t expect my husband to do it for me. Now there is one thing I will say to the men here: if you want your wife to want to have sex with you, you better make sure the sex is good and that the two of you have chemistry. Obviously the most amazing sex won’t be enough if your wife is just not into it, but mediocre sex is a sure way for a woman to lose interest. I have a very high sex drive and sex still stopped with my ex because it was boring and unsatisfying. I was better off taking care of myself. Looking back I should have known from the start because we were never very compatible. So if your idea of sex is to pump it for five minutes until you’re done, I can see why she won’t bother. I’m re-married now, together a few years (yes with kids) and sex life is amazing and very often (even in the middle of trial).
My woman doesn’t. The kids are just props and the inmates don’t run this asylum. Me and Mommy have to be good first and foremost. We can always make more if we have to.
It’s like hostage taking. You won’t give me some and you won’t let me get some from elsewhere 😡.
Haha.. and keep doing practice on your own, hoping to get a chance to play in the actual match !
Chief
Do something romantic and thoughtful for your partner. Surprise them. Plan a day where you take the kids and send them off to do something they enjoy. Or do something together as a couple, without pressuring them or making them feel you want something in exchange. Make them feel appreciated. Intimacy takes work
Chief
Depends on the city.
It’s not secondary, you just don’t know how to approach it. If you arrange for the kids needs to be taken care of - either by you or a grandparent or trusted babysitter AND you surprise them with a plan, your SO will be up for it.
Plan ahead then say “hey kids are taken care of, here’s the activities I have. I love you and wanted to show you we appreciate you”.
Ideas:
- Some places the spas are still open, as well as the nail salons. Schedule a massage or pedicure
- if those businesses arent open, take the kids out or send them to grand parents. Then do a “home spa”. 1) Have the bathroom clean and draw a bath with candles, 2) get their favorite book/magazine, 3) get their favorite snacks, and some face masks 4) get a neck rest massager. 5) Leave them alone and you cook a nice dinner with some wine.
- get a babysitter for the weekend/night, go to a hotel.
Chief
Typically if you and your SO have stopped being intimate - this is often due to exhaustion, stress, lack of time together away from kids, and possibly resentment.
Taking the time to plan, and think out something special, as well as small acts of thoughtfulness throughout the week will get you laid.
Nudging your partner at the end of the night, or trying to make a move while your partner is in the middle of getting a chore done is not the way to go about it. If what you’re doing isn’t working, then do something different.
I know how that actually sounds but I meant a Nanny for the kids.
Even with little kids , where there is a will there is a way . So that wouldn’t change
It’s unnatural to have sex with only one person for decades.
Divorced Dad here and what I have learned is that those same moms quickly get their interest back and are no longer tired with kids as they newly date or socialize with friends. They’re just bored and want something new and exciting . Not always , but this is the case many times
Now that’s a woman that speaks truth. Good for you!
Indeed, same here
So having a Nanny actually helps.