Am I being too sensitive?

One group of friends I have are all white and they've been very insensitive to the asian hate that's going on lately. They kept saying it's overblown and how all of the videos they've seen are of non-whites attacking asians. I simply stated that I'm afraid for my parents because they're defenseless and they told me again that it's overblown and statistics don't lie.

It's pretty hurtful because racism is so real and I just don't understand the lack of compassion.

Your friends are showing their true colors. It's one thing to not understand something, but be willing to learn. It's another thing entirely to be completely dismissive.

People who care realize it doesn't matter WHY s friend is upset. They seek to comfort them. They can share facts, but if they see you're still agitated, they should care enough to figure out ways to make you feel better.

This feeld like a situation where they are saying it doesn't impact them directly so they don't care.

Sorry you're dealing with this. I don't have Asian parents and I'm shocked every time I see these violent crimes.

Get new friends. Even if racism wasn’t happening, they sound like the type that would never give you any emotional support when you need it.

Your friends are not your friends. Tell ‘em to go fuk themselves

You’re not being sensitive at all. Have they seen the videos and photos of what’s been going on? The woman who got stomped on in Manhattan, and the man who got slashed across the face in a subway? Not sure how you can say these are “overblown”...

It shouldn't matter who is attacking who. What matters is that Asian people are being targeted and you have every right to feel scared for yourself and your family.

If your friends downplay the violence because it isn't white people perpetrating it, then they're not good people in general. We should be speaking out against all violence against minorities.

What surprises me about OP’s friends is that on one hand they’re saying it’s no big deal, all overblown etc...the next is that ‘yeah it’s happening but non-whites are doing it.’

You can’t have both. They sound more stupid than anything else.

If my friends did that I would kick them to the curb. They would be a bunch of insensitive clouts. I am just glad all my friends are Asian. They and their family all feel threatened by this Anti asian sentiment, and so do I. At this point I can't even look up at people when I go shopping.

First and foremost realize that White people generally don't experience discrimination or prejudice. That being said, their insensitivity is a red flag and you need to decide if the friendship is worth keeping. You are who you associate with so if you continue to stay silent around them on this issue, you are endorsing their behavior.

Ugh. Do you still want to be their friends? If yes, tell them how you feel. This isn't about statistics and I can assure they wouldn't feel it was overblown if you or your parents get attacked tomorrow, god forbid. Just because they don't see it happening or the 'data' isn't significant (which it is), that's not the point. The point is you're Asian and you feel vulnerable and if their response to your suffering is talking about statistics, see if you could show how they would feel if they brought up [insert personal issue they have] and you start to talk about the data.

My friend is Mexican and acted this way towards me during BLM. I’m naturally growing apart from her now because I can’t look at her the same way. I’m just finding new friends in the meantime. Sorry your going through that OP. It really does hurt. Just know that there are plenty of white people out there that would support you / understand you better.

I would stop talking to them about this issue at least, and find a friendlier space in which to talk about your feelings on this subject. They have a different life experience, and I honestly wouldn’t waste energy trying to teach people who aren’t interested in learning. speaking as an Asian American living in an extreeemely white area and do not talk about it with neighbors, etc. but my chat groups with Asian friends elsewhere are blowing up.

This is not a comment on whether (or how) you should continue having a relationship with them, as there’s not enough info here about that and only you can make that call.

Not playing devils advocate - but I think it’s likely OP is muddying her friends’ points of views. Sounds like at least one was just trying to educate you on availability bias.

OP: the real question is why are you “friends” with people who don’t value you and your experience?

Real friends would take the time try to understand your viewpoints.

I think you need to think about who you call a friend and who you call an acquaintance.

And based on what you said, this group needs to be classified as acquaintances.

Why are white people so quick to show that other people hate also. (This is obviously a generalization and I feel the need to say that because whites people). Does it matter if all the attacks are from non-whites??? Your friends are extremely insensitive to even think that it’s okay to voice this to you. Try to educate them but not at the expense of your piece of mind or mental health

What’s weird is that rather than trying to comfort you by pointing out it’s at least statistically uncommon (though horrible), they’re just negating your rational fear that it could happen to your loved ones, given that it’s still a pretty catastrophic event if it does.

Your friends sound like assholes, OP.

They don’t care because it’s not personal for them. It also shows what kind of “friends” they are. True friends who care about you would prioritize comforting you and making sure you and your family are okay instead of having a view on the events. This world is so broken...

Just because a lot of the violence being caught on video are not being instigated by 'white' folks doesn't mean that the violence doesn't exist.

You don't have to be part of a specific demographic to have empathy and compassion. What effects one, will have a domino effect and influence others lives as well.

This type of behavior shouldn't be normalized. I suggest you try your best explaining them your perspective, maybe even educate them about the bystander effect. If their attitude doesn't change still, I suggest you evaluate what kind of friend they are to you...might be time for you to make some changes.

This is how black people have felt for a long time. Remember this during another BLM rally. I’m sorry for your pain.

Yes it’s a real problem and yes it’s awful. But statistically you and your parents are very much unlikely to be personally attacked. Kind of like going swimming in the ocean - yes there is a very small chance you’ll be attacked by a shark, but the chances are so low it likely won’t keep you from getting in the ocean. So much of this is media hype. Yes the attacks they’re showing are horrible but it’s not like you’re probably going to be attacked. Full disclosure my wife is Asian so I get it, but we’re not sequestering ourselves for fear of attack. It’s just not that likely (if at all) to happen despite what the sensationalist media would like you to believe.

You need new friends. I’m sorry you have to experience that.