Am I crazy for thinking being a mom is harder than working in biglaw? I’m a mid level associate and FTM currently on maternity leave and the amount of sleeplessness over the past few weeks have convinced me my job is a piece of cake in comparison. I’m so overwhelmed.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I like to say that the easy part of my day starts when I sit down at my desk after having dropped off my kids at school and daycare. The hard parts of having kids shift and change over time though, whereas work stays work and is overall less rewarding (particularly from an emotional standpoint), at least that is true for me. About to have my third, so I’ve clearly lost my mind.

like

Nope. Hard AF. And honestly I thought the first like year wasn't that bad. Around year two, I feel like it got harder. (Varies from kid to kid obviously.)

like

I don’t have kids but my sister has 3. Sometimes we commiserate via text at 2am when I’m working and she’s up with the baby. Big law is the hardest job I’ve ever had, but I don’t doubt that being a mom is harder. At least with work, we can check out sometimes. Both are very mentally taxing, but I think being a mom is probably harder emotionally and physically (at least when the kids are young).

On the bright side, at least you found a way to make your job easier! Don’t worry—from what my sister and my coworkers and friends have all told me, it gets way easier as they get older.

Good luck, and just remember there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

like

It was shockingly hard with my first. No one warned me about the lack of sleep. But it does gradually get better. It’s harder for a while but not forever (like work sometimes seems). Congrats on being a mom!

like

Not crazy at all and I completely agree! I especially felt that way when, during the earlier months, my baby would cry for no rhyme or reason and I would try everything with zero luck. These tiny tyrannical bosses of ours…they’re lucky they’re so cute!

like

Being a mom is 24/7/365, nothing will ever compare 😌

like

No which is why I will not be having children 😌

like

Momming is definitely harder, especially for the first two years. You literally get no breaks. With big law, even in the middle of a filing deadline or preparing for trial, you still get a moment to breathe on your bathroom breaks.

like

Wait until you are doing both. Shew.

But you’ll get through it 💪🏻

like

Yup, this makes both alone look completely do-able.

like

Related Posts

Is WLB better at S& than MBB/Tier2 or worse?

I feel like it’s probably the latter because of Utilization/PwC culture, but want to validate.

like

As some one who’s on the left political spectrum, there are some things I just don’t understand

1) What is genuinely wrong with universal, free healthcare provided by a government entity ?

2) Why is there opposition to taxing the super rich at 70%?

3) Is it not clear that electoral campaigns sponsored by corporations are problematic for a democratic society ?

4) Everyone says “get an education” but that’s impossible with high costs. Why not make tuition free of charge ?

like

Curious to know what other producers in the health insurance industry are making. I’ve got 4 years experience as a top 10 producer last year. My salary is validated and Im looking to renegotiate base salary. Thanks in advance!

like

Thanks to all who offered advice on retirement and FMLA. I think I will just retire after my sick days are used up. I'm 58, over 28 years teaching. Pension is good. I'm just worried about district not accepting Anxiety as medical reason. Can they fight me. Will a simple note from Dr or therapist explaining I am seeing therapist for anxiety suffice?

like

What benefits are provided by PWC Bangalore AC to employees? Is the culture good enough compared to Deloitte USI?

like

Sorry if there is a better board for this question. We are not yet pregnant. Are there any other Firms out there that offer financial assistance with IUI, IVF, egg donation, surrogacy, adoption?

like

Hi fishies! Considering an internal big 4 move from Western Europe to Dubai. Not sure about WLB and whether there’ll be enough growth and learning opportunities after reading some of the threads here. Anyone up for sharing their experience? Especially concerned about sexism / racism as a WOC…and whether moving back to Europe in a few years will be difficult because the ME experience won’t be considered valuable.

like

Quavo came through on Too Blessed with Rich the Kid

Post Photo
like

Hello, how is WLB, work culture and hikes in wells fargo bangalore,
Designation: senior software engineer
Skills: .net, microservices, azure.

How much they pay for 9+ yoe laterals?

Thanks in advance.

like

Hyatt free night CAT 1-7. Anyone want to buy this off of me? Can book with globalist benefits.

like

How hard is it to move from freelance to full time in an agency? Chatting about a freelance strategist position at R/GA but don’t really want to give up the benefits of full time

like

what do you talk about in your 1:1s?

I got lucky and now have leadership that seems to care about my career growth, but I'm 1. a little overwhelmed taking over a new role from someone who went on parental leave earlier than expected and 2. not used to thinking outside my day to day job, happy to keep my head down and just produce good work.

most of what I bring up in these meetings are logistical or prioritization concerns but I feel like my manager is expecting a lot more from me.

like

It looks like Y&R healthcare is looking to expand... what’s it like? The accounts, culture, management, etc.

like

So I have completely lost interest in my area of practice mainly because I haven’t been exposed to many matters (our team is really slow) and I am the most junior in the team. So billable work is never constant. I feel like this has impacted my interest and stagnated my growth. I am thinking of moving into a different area of practice that I’m interested in. Has anyone ever done this? I’m actually depressed and I really hate being given work now. I have ADHD. Please advise

like

Hi Fishes, please help to decide based on job stability and WLB.
YOE 9, Java, cloud
Thales: Technical Lead- Degital Security, 38LPA, Hybrid
Blue Yonder: Sr. Technical Architect- Consulting, 42LPA, WFH as of now.

like

If you work at a small agency in NYC, could you tell me what your monthly health insurance premiums are for families? I'm at a small agency in NYC and the health benefits for a family are almost prohibitively expensive, ~1,500/mo with a high deductible. Would love to know if we're competitive or not and if not, share that info with our HR and bosses.

like
like

It's more like 25% of your highest paying year but there are many variables. But there are more wealth accumulation vehicles besides the pension. Plus health care.

like

Anyone from Allied Benefits LLC know the salary for a Reimbursement Specialist?

like

I am an Employee Engagement and Relations Manager for a healthcare clinic, and I’m looking for ideas to boost morale/employee satisfaction on a budget. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks!

like

More Posts

Does anyone have recommendations for thought leaders/influencers in the M&A space? Looking for blogs, books, YouTube videos? Not currently in the space, trying to learn more as I’m thinking about a pivot after a few years in consulting/startups

likehelpful

Good Day to all,

Would like to know how recruiters get compensated? I am asking because it seems a lot of (not all) the recruiters especially the once from India are trying to get me at a lower salary then is actually being offered by the companies they are representing.

like

What’s the average salary for EY GPS Experienced Staff?

Anyone from data technology/consulting team here?

For those of you who have taken the CFE exams recently what did you use to study? Likes and dislikes of whatever material you used? Any recommendations for someone who is about to start studying?

like

Beginning to look at making the switch to internal recruiting. Was at an agency for 2 years and now RPO consulting firm for over a year, all tech recruiting. If anyone is looking to hire hit me up and we can connect!

like

Say we’ve got a pitch in 3 weeks. What’s a typical fee for a freelance strategist to lead the strategy and work with the team to build the deck? How much would they make in that gig?

like

Anyone ever read OC’s brief and then stare at your reply brief for an hour wondering what in the world you got yourself into?

likefunny

Hey hi guys ☺️
I'm having 2 years of experience in QA automation and manual testing
Working in Tech M
Can anyone please refer me.
Serving Notice period left with only 40 days.
Thanks ❤️

uplifting

What are the tldr differences between HR roles, people Operations, and people business partner positions? They all seem similar but I’m curious how y’all characterize them. I’m coming out of a very internal position at a nonprofit and I’m trying to better align my work accomplishments to make sense in more traditional career paths.

like

Hii! This is going to be my first time working from office in Virtusa.
1. I wanted to know if virtusa provides transportation? If yes then will it’s fee deducted from my ctc or not?
2. Do they provide free food or it’s on us?

like

Started keto last week and I'm dying to try some keto restaurants. Any good reccos?

I am having difficulties getting my (Return on ad spend) column displaying correctly. The source data is shown in currency but on the pivot table I am only seeing count and percentage options. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Post Photo
like

I will be joining IBM in Infra domain. 8 yoe.
What are the chances I can move to IBM cloud as internal job change in IBM?

like

Anyone available this late?

like
like

Hi all, has anyone heard of a company called VassuTech?

What % of your FT salary is benefits? I’m trying to figure out how to convert my freelance rate to a FT rate if I get converted. I’m a junior creative in NYC, btw.

like

What is your avg working hours?
If other than mentioned do comment.

Post Photo
upliftingfunnyhelpfullike

I’m pretty reserved and quiet. I do good 1-on-1, but I tend to listen more than talk. Has anyone had success in opening up more or becoming outgoing?

like

Additional Posts in Women in Law

Does anyone know whether a UK solicitor can practice in Europe?

like

Anyone else obsess over your next career move? I’m a senior associate in a niche BigLaw group in DC. I am just now hitting my stride and can really see a path to partnership. I handle my own matters relatively independently, am generating some business, and will inherit a large book of business in my favorite space in the next year or so. The problem is that this isn’t what I want, or at least what I think I want. (Continued in comments).

like

Let’s talk about historical places to get married in 2022. Somewhere that has meaning. Preferably in the US. Would love to be a part of something bigger, to feel connected to generations before me, on my wedding day. I was curious what suggestions people would come up with, have fun with it!

like

Anyone have three kids and working in big law? I just found out I’m pregnant with no. 3 and it’s been a lot trying to juggle morning sickness, but based on my experience, I know this is only the tip of the iceberg of what’s to come. My husband and I are elated, but the anxiety of being a mom of 3 kids and working in big law is preventing me from truly enjoying this news. It would be good to know what it’s really like having 3 kids so that I can evaluate how long I really have left in big law.

like

Recalling my first onboarding meeting in-house with the c - suite. Thinking back now recalling that they would often mention if someone they are referring to is a woman. For example, "Oh we have these two women doing x, y, and z and they do it well, a well-oiled machine." etc. I was the only woman in the room. They did not mention when someone performing a particular role was a man but they did point out when it's a woman, happened about four times. Odd, no? What would you make of this?

like

Someone please tell me where in tf I need to drop my Hinge location in the DMV area to find my person. I’m in Baltimore and am getting frustrated/losing hope after only finding guys whose time would’ve been better spent focusing on themselves to be emotionally available and ready to date rather than dating as a distraction. I’m convinced I’m going to die alone. And if you have a single guy friend in that area who is a genuinely good person, please let me know 😂

likefunny

I’ve been asked to weigh in on how to improve my firms parental leave policy. It’s currently 8 weeks paid for birth parent with an extra week for each year at the firm (up to 12 weeks total) and 2 weeks paid for non-birth parent. I’m in a major city, firm is a boutique that has been around a very long time. What would you suggest? Any studies or research you’ve seen recently on trends in parental leave policies also helpful. I’d like to have some sort of data to back up what I recommend. TIA!

like

Anyone know how to get expedited shipping on the Nordstrom website?

like

Question for moms. I’m getting married next year and have several close family members that will have babies ages 8-11 months old by then. What are some ways I can support the moms and make it an enjoyable experience for them? We have a separate room at the venue that I was thinking could be offered to the parents to use, or potentially hiring a babysitter for them (either at the venue or back at the hotel). I would love for the families to be able to come, as it is out of town.

like

Best handbag / shoulder bag for work that is both professional and also convenient (e.g. can take work laptop, documents, food containers, water bottle)?

Does anybody find it helps to “get ready” in the mornings with wfh? I still want to be comfortable with athleisure, but I’m wondering if fixing my hair and maybe a little makeup will make a difference mentally. Feeling so burnt out and unmotivated lately.

like

How would you feel about being proposed to on your birthday? Special surprise or overshadowing your day?

likefunny

How honest is too honest in an exit interview? I am leaving because of problems with one partner in particular but I do not want to burn a bridge in case I ever need the firm in the future.

like

Advice needed! I started at an ID firm only a few months ago after a long stint doing in-house litigation. I was referred to the firm by a very good friend who also still works there. A management position at my old in-house firm has now been offered to me. Higher salary obviously and no billables. I am seriously dreading talking to my new boss and telling my friend that I want to go back in-house. Has anyone dealt with something similar? I just feel so bad and don’t want to burn bridges

like

Thoughts on daycare vs. nanny starting at 4 months old?

like

I am purchasing a home and my boyfriend wants in on the deal as a co-owner. It is only me on the mortgage. We are planning on writing up a co-ownership agreement with a 60%/40% split and yes he will be paying 40% of the mortgage, down payment, and property taxes etc. He wants to be on the title as a tenant in common to reflect that %. Is that fair? I just want to make sure I’m protected but I also understand that if he’s paying all this money, he wants some security as well

likesmart

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have a spending problem. Trying to curb the Amazon habit, cancel subscriptions, etc. Good vibes needed. Trying to be a better example for my son and save for his future.

like

Any of you married your co-worker (lawyer, for clarity) and both of you decided to stay in the same firm afterwards? How is/was it and do you recommend it?

like

Black women…women of color. Do you notice anything different about how your superiors speak to you compared to your white counterparts? If so, have you attempted anything to address it? Ex: a reprimand meeting or corrective response by a partner.

like

Is it sad that I want to take mental health leave desperately but am worried if I leave in the next month I’ll screw over my team who is already short staffed and has a huge case that’s going to trial at the end of the month? Has anyone taken leave and planned the start date for a few weeks out? Should I worry that I’ll be penalized or given the cold shoulder if I leave now or in the next 2 weeks?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal