Am I the asshole for not making an effort to talk to some members of my team after getting turned down for happy hours I planned, initiating all conversation, and getting the cold shoulder?

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Nope! Go where you’re celebrated not where you’re tolerated. Their loss.


I say give them the benefit of the doubt and make an effort several times, but only because they are on your team. In reality, you might have to keep reaching out in a minor way, again only because they are on your team.

All in all, I am big fan of moving on to more productive relationships. Both you and them will be better off.

The fact that they are on your team is the real kicker here. Not sure how big your team is but in reality you want to have a good relationship with at least some of your team. If you don't gell with your team then it might be career limiting long term.

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