{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Am I the jerk here? On a traveling project as a new analyst, and I have a Manager who is, in my opinion, over the top with team outings/dinners/activities. To the point where we have ‘voluntary’‘...", "post_id": "5d671ad9ad1d8300203d71d0", "reply_count": 35, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

Am I the jerk here? On a traveling project as a new analyst, and I have a Manager who is, in my opinion, over the top with team outings/dinners/activities. To the point where we have ‘voluntary’‘...

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I had a senior manager that did that and it turned out he was just a super lonely dude outside of work. I ducked his invites when he started guilt tripping people for not hanging out with him. Did use him for free drinks/dinners and a NBA game 🤷‍♂️

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No just do your thing when u don’t want to go out. This is my team all the time

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This is an introvert’s worst nightmare. I use my significant other as an excuse to get out of these socials.

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I have a few reasons at the ready as well. I recognize the potential cost, but I still decline almost all invites.

hurrryyyyy

likefunny

C’mon..

likefunny

Little crazy. Never have had a team like this

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^whoever found that uplifting. I lold

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I would die

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Heckkkk no. I turn down team dinners and happy hours all the time.

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That seems excessive but I guess everyone must really like hanging out with each other. Just start telling them no periodically. Who cares if they get butthurt? Absolute worst worst case they’ll roll you off and your problem is solved anyways. Best case, you train them that you need a few nights a week to yourself.

likesmart

...dinners, HHs, outings etc every night of the week. Sometimes sponsored, mostly not though. Am I a jerk for not wanting to hang out with my coworkers, who I already see for 10 hours a day, for my 4 hours of free time a day? The worst part is, a couple managers make me feel like the scum of the earth for turning down an invite or not doing whatever they want to do...EVERY SINGLE DAY...am I wrong here or is this a little crazy?

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Thanks for the replies all, really helps gain perspective. Sometimes I feel like I’m the crazy one in all this haha, good to know I’m not alone in feeling this is odd.

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I turn down shit all the time. Worst case you eat the mediocre review and never get staffed by them again (aka good)

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I was in your situation and I exactly know how you feel. My excuses were - ubereats/pick up salad from Whole Foods/going to gym/attend offshore calls

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Are you young and attractive 🧐

Yes

That’s an absolute nightmare. Could you use work as an excuse to get out of it? Don’t show them some of the stuff you’ve done during the day, send it out at midnight, repeat. Not ideal but it might work short term, mid term you need to roll off this circus.

It won’t last forever- I agree it is very excessive. I can do one team outing per week but even then I’m forcing myself to go some weeks. And I’m someone who actually does get along with my coworkers

No, not crazy. Say you’ve “joined a fitness class to invest in yourself” thus have to be out by X time. Added bonus: manager guilt if they make you work too late and miss it.

🙅‍♀️ I say that I already have plans for the entire week if I don’t want to hang out with them

New diet, new work out regimen, and some friends in town you met

You have 4 hours of free time a day??!

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