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Am I under any obligation to treat my older brother as a brother if he made me miserable most times we were under the same roof?
He was always a kiss up kick down guy. Physically/verbally abusive...

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Don't live your life for your family. Do what you need to do for yourself!

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One time I read in his diary where he said that it was basically his mission to make me fail because I didn't deserve to succeed.

Right now, he's going through hard times. Basically graduated from college with no skills and for the past 3 years has been unable to find full-time work.

And I couldn't give a shit.

He has only become nicer because he has no power over me and because he's lonely. Sure, he was a kid (all the way up to 18) when he was mean, but I don't care about that. To some extent I'm glad he has nothing. No full-time job, limited savings, no real friends.

I think he is a vile character. And I don't care if he'll be nicer permanently even when he picks himself up. He always made me miserable and I just don't know why I should be anything to him.

Someone give me a reason why I should care other than "he's your family."

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My F him.. I felt this way about several of my half brothers. I cut them out of my life years ago and I truly regret not doing it sooner. I have never been happier with that aspect of my life, it is so wonderful to feel free of the thought of them. I don't hate them, I just don't have any positive feelings about them and prefer to build bonds with people who choose to love me versus my biological half siblings.

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You don't have to care, and it's okay to be angry as long as you also try to work through that anger.

Some of the most empowering times of my life were when I felt righteous indignation for the ways that people treated me. Like I needed to feel as angry as I would have for anyone else in that position.

Chances are, you're going to need your brother to understand what he did and how it impacted you and show genuine remorse and try to make up for it before you feel all chummy. It's frankly a lot of work and you really have no clue if he wants to go down that path.

As long as you have a strong sense of your worth, and know that his actions were always more about him than about you, then you can do whatever you want. Whatever makes you feel good.

You don't have to spend compassion on him, but I also think the only reason he was able to hurt you so much is because you did really care and want his approval/kinship. And it's okay to acknowledge that part too.

Best of luck! Family stuff is complicated and often traumatic.

You're allowed to feel any which way, but know that you don't help your younger self by fixating on the resentment. Focus more on you than him. Even if you're still angry, at least you'll be reflective

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