{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "An ex who I miss dearly is getting married next week. It’s been years, I’ve moved countries, dated other people, tried multiple therapists, focused on career, you name it. Feeling hopeless that I’ll never get over him or find love again, especially with Covid. Hoping you ladies can help with some encouraging stories that shows anything can happen and help me stay optimistic. TYIA!", "post_id": "5f74f92929d155001d9d7d0c", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

An ex who I miss dearly is getting married next week. It’s been years, I’ve moved countries, dated other people, tried multiple therapists, focused on career, you name it. Feeling hopeless that I’ll never get over him or find love again, especially with Covid. Hoping you ladies can help with some encouraging stories that shows anything can happen and help me stay optimistic. TYIA!

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Stop thinking about finding love. Just stop! Think of it as a luxury, and think it as not for everyone. Start thinking about other things that you want to live this life for. Anything you would want to achieve before you grow old. And work on that. That’s what I am doing! :)

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This is amazing. Thank you.

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OP how did you find out about the wedding? Delete them from your life so you can’t watch, no social, you don’t need the pretense of “remaining friends.” It might seem petty on the surface but it’s the only way to keep them out of your constant thought loop.

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This is a great perspective. Great catch!

I saw something recently about how people conflate true love with just emotional attachment. If you and this person got back together you most likely wouldn’t feel the same, you are just longing for the feeling of attachment you shared with this person.

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You are occupied with the idealized, purified, best version of your ex. You’ve let all the bad parts fade away and, wittingly or not, allowed the good parts to amplify to an overwhelming volume. Let that go. That person in your mind doesn’t exist. Even when you were together, they weren’t like that.

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Trying thinking about the things you miss from the relationship but separate them from the person. Did you do fun things together, travel, have a satisfying physical relationship, etc. Then try and fill those gaps either by yourself or with other people. Maybe friends, maybe flings maybe a new BF. It doesn’t all have to be replaced by one person. If you can fill those “holes” I bet the miss for your ex will slip away. It’s the whole you don’t miss someone but you miss the way they made you feel. Recreate the feeling without the focus on love.

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This is also great advice. I'm in similar spot- thanks for sharing. Great ladies and advice on this post

You won't find someone new while you're still hung up over someone you used to date. You need to find a way to let it go so that you can open yourself up again. There are billions of people out there - you can find someone, you just need to be ready for it when the opportunity presents itself.

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