Another "we are having a baby" day from friends. I used to get very excited for everyones babies but I think its taking a huge toll on me now. Instead of being happy for them I cried. I dont want to feel like this. I actually don't even know what am feeling except for I am sad. I don't want to call them don't want to wish them don't want to do anything but I ll have to put up a brave face and maybe send care baskets or host yet another baby shower

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I’m so sorry! Do they know what you are going through? Personally I would feel free to not offer to host a baby shower

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No they don't but it's not on them. They didn't ask me to host one but they are close friends so we end up celebrating it. How can you not celebrate a friends happiness ? I just feel a little tearful internally

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I delegate the gift selection / congratulation messaging to my husband so I don’t have to face those couples while I am struggling to conceive.

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They are so close to business, it d be so weird for me not to wish them but I think if i can for some of them, I will ask my husband

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I feel you. Every time it hurts…do you have someone who isn’t your partner to talk to? That was the only way I coped.

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I get it. I bottled it up inside for almost 2 years and then it burst out of me on a family trip in a drunken moment. My partner was great too throughout the whole thing but I did feel like having someone else that was removed from the situation helped a ton. Plus, I also discovered by sharing that there were many people that went through it too which made me feel much less alone.

Anyway, only share of course what you’re comfortable with and when you feel it’s right (or not). I’m right there with you. It totally and completely sucks…

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I've started to glare at babies while going through a miscarriage so you are totally normal 😂🤣

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Sorry. Pray that you begin to understand what you are feeling and find peace.

I think we all go through this at some point.

My approach, I’m grateful that you shared your journey with me and I invite you on my journey and hope we will have good news soon.
Good luck 🍀

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Thank you :) its hard but I think I will be alright. I have a caring husband who is in every step of the way with me. Grateful for that

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I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I agree with not offering to host a baby shower, and also suggest not pressuring yourself to put together care baskets. If you really want, you can come up with a standard gift for everyone (eg off the shelf gift basket, spa certificate, bakery cookies) so you dont need to put mental energy into figuring out a care basket. If you feel the need to/ are comfortable with it, you can also share with the pregnant friend that you’re so happy for them, but are struggling with your own fertility journey so may not have the mental energy to continually show them how excited you are and be as involved as you have been in the past. But you still care for them very much and will be there for them as much as you can

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Thank you for your suggestions:) I really appreciate them. I dont know if am comfortable talking to my friends about it yet and dampen their joy but if it gets too much I will. None of them expect me to plan anything for them but they are our closest friends. It would be so weird not to. Also don't forget I am an extrovert so kind of brought this on myself. Have way too many friends who actually care 😄

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My partner and I had the same thing happen for 5 years. It killed some of our friendships because we couldn't keep up with the brave face.

Your feelings are valid. You are valid.

I'm glad you have support. It helps.

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I had a close family WhatsApp group with my sister in law conceiving 2 kids while I was struggling. I was in it for 3-4 years and realized my husband never felt how hard it was for me to see baby pictures everyday. I quit the group and it helped me with my peace of mind a bit.

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Thank you for sharing. Its hard to be selfish and unselfish at the same time. Am glad it helped you. I have started looking at everyone's babies wistfully at malls even. 😒

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I had to deal with that same this weekend. Saw an IG post on my way to a monitoring appt. I barely was able to keep it together through the appt. and bawled my eyes out in the Uber on the way back. My husband is not particularly understanding so it makes it harder to cope with it.

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Am sorry. I hope your husband is able to be your friend in this. But I think no matter how supportive the spouse is, we all have some parts of ourselves that deal with grief differently. Please dm me if you want to chat. I know am loaded with my own sorrow but I am a good listener:) I hope everything turns out alright

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