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Rising Star
Need tips for dating someone with a kid
“Is there blood in the cheese sauce?"
Pro
TTC and am thinking of Botox. Is it ok to do?
Chief
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Fed is best. Formula is totally fine if that’s what you feel is best for everyone.
I decided to just give it a try in the hospital, mostly to avoid mean looks from the nurses. Breastfeeding didn’t work, but pumping, my milk came in like crazy the second time around. It became a bit of a game for me - how much can I pump today?? So I ended up doing that until the sleep was too important. I stopped at two months. But I felt no guilt at all. My first did great on formula and I knew my second would too.
Pumping is equally stressful. With a toddler to take care of, I want to make things uncomplicated & keep my sanity
Same here (except I only made it 3 months) - pumping made my mental health absolutely plummet. Just found out we’re expecting #2 and feeling the same - if it’s a struggle we’re going straight to formula.
Formula all the way and invest in the Baby Brezza. Everyone will be happier. If you truly feel guilty about your babe not getting the “liquid gold” just pump and bottle feed (still a major commitment). It also allows dad to be way more involved in the new born phase, which was a huge plus for all in my opinion.
Definitely a major commitment to be exclusively pumping (low supply, only got 9 oz a day at best no matter what I did). It is grueling and you definitely have to give up on something else, like time spent with your baby or sleeping...Not on kid #2 yet but next time I plan on getting either the willow or elvie pump so I'm not tied down as much.
It is equally as important for your baby to have a healthy and happy mommy. Stress is HELL on your immune system and at some point it may just not be worth it.
I was partially formula fed and my husband was 100% formula fed and both us turned out alright :)
Thank you y’ll. The support from this group is terrific.
I’m about 2 weeks out from #2 as well. I got SO lucky with my BFing journey with #1 and EBF for 8 months but the thought of being tethered to a baby while having a toddler is seriously overwhelming. I feel selfish but Im also just plain tired of being pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 3 years. I’m debating going straight to formula this time around so I can be a better mom to my entire family and maybe maintain some sanity 🤪
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/are-the-benefits-of-breastfeeding-oversold/
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/questioning-the-evidence-for-breastfeeding/
It's fine to do whatever makes you most comfortable.
I will say though that I had a not so pleasant experience BFing my first (she dropped to 0% weight). I was apprehensive 2nd time around, but I was so much more knowledgeable by then that it was a million times better. I exclusively nursed until 8 months and then we were both ready to move to bottles and the BM freezer stash. I actually had a couple of the same problems I had the first time, but I knew what to do for a change and overcame them almost instantly. Not trying to add to the guilt and say you should BF or anything but just recognize that you're a different mom now, and you'll be much better at a lot of things this time around :)
Pro
Fed is best mama!!!!!!! Do not guilt yourself into something that only stresses you out.
You can always try nursing and following-up with a bottle. I, like you, hate pumping and Also don’t produce enough milk so once I got over the shame I had with my first I was so much happier with my situation for the 2nd!
Rising Star
Y’all… thank you. My “babies” are 6 and 8 now, but the shame and guilt over not being able to breastfeed still stings. Formula saved their lives and my mental health. So validating to see “fed is best” from so many women.
Pro
Same A4. The mental anguish I felt hearing that over and over again as my baby fell off the growth curves. I never produced enough milk. I killed myself trying every trick in the book. The guilt I felt with the first. Ugh I want to scream at all the doctors who pushed breast is best to me.
I think it’s totally fine to start with formula. Take it a day at a time. I haven’t started planning for a second, but I’ve asked myself this same question too.
My little didn’t latch on her own until 6 weeks, so I worked my butt off to pump. It. Was. Awful. I battled thrush throughout this and was in constant pain. I stopped breastfeeding at 5 months and did strictly formula. I look back now and just wonder why I put myself through that literal pain and exhaustion.
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/breastfeeding-is-good-but-maybe-not-that-good/
release yourself from the guilt. The benefits of breastfeeding in developed countries are oversold, at best. That said, breastfeeding experience can vary significant between children and for me what was a miserable scenario with my first ended up being quite easy and convenient (for a period of time) with my second. So you may want to give it a whirl and then make a decision. The second time around for me I loved not having to make bottles in the middle of the night, but once he started sleeping I was happy to be done with it and go to formula exclusively. Do whatever works for YOU because maternal mental health is the most important thing for your child’s well being, FAR more significant than any proposed benefits of breastfeeding.
I struggled with my first as well and I went in with an open mind (as in, I brought formula with me to the hospital but also had breastfeeding accessible clothes) and I was pleasantly surprised that the second time around was so much easier. I knew tips and tricks and actually knew what I was doing this time. So I would advice you to go in with no expectations but don’t feel guilty for feeding your baby to the best of your abilities. Mama’s health and well-being matters too
Nursed 1st for 8 months, nursed 2nd for 2.5 months as it’s just too hard to entertain a toddler while keeping infant serene enough to do a full and efficient feed.
Currently at 3 months and pumping a few times a day - infant is getting about 50/50 BM and formula.
Formula these days is excellent. And I find the *playtime* before and after feeds so amazing for bonding - fun, chatting, laughs and smiles!
Chief
100%, do whatever works best for your family. I’m 4 weeks postpartum with #2 right now and my oldest is about to turn 2. Nursing has honestly been pretty easy this time around. If you want to try breastfeeding again, you might be surprised how much easier it can be the second time around. If it’s a pita, switch to formula and leave the guilt behind. I HATE pumping and would personally never consider exclusive pumping. Well, I guess I’d try but I can’t imagine it working out for me.
Pro
Op, I forgot to mention in my earlier comment. I spoke with my ped about this and babies only need a few ounces of breastmilk to get the benefits. So you can always try nursing once or twice a day and formula the rest. But if that doesn’t work, don’t guilt yourself over it.
Also, enfamil has a formula that is allegedly close to colostrum (Enfamil Enspire). Pricey, but perhaps it will put your mind at ease.
Either way, the bottom line is fed is best ❤️
That’s interesting - I wish now I’d pumped a little extra for the post-nursing phase…!