Any advice on improving social skills for a VERY introverted consultant/technical project manager?

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Practice beforehand. Always practice before all meetings. It’s extra work, but worth it for your personal development. Know what you want to get out of the meeting beforehand, and your main talking points. Talking with your hands helps a lot. I had this same problem for years and felt like shit because of it. I finally committed to putting in the extra work through practicing and over preparing, and things changed.

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CONTEXT: I’m able to do my job for the most part, but when it comes to running meetings a lot of times I’ll fumble over words, use “ums” and “Ahhs” a lot as well. I think a big source of anxiety for me is that as a black person in corporate America the cards are already stacked against me. I feel the need to make every interaction damn near perfect, but most times I just come off as awkward and a bit weird (albeit, well dressed).

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SAME! I accept that I'm awkward though....get comfortable to some extent with awkward silences. With the other things - ums/ahs - I just overprepare as others have said. It's gotten to the point where in feedback sessions people always say "it's CLEAR you prepare" aka "you overprepare...." but I would rather I have a semi-memorized speech than fumble all over the place.

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Toastmasters

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Find opportunities to practice in smaller settings?

For me, it also helps when I know the group beforehand. If I've had 1:1 with a few of them.

Agree with practicing beforehand. Know the material inside and out so there are no surprise questions. No awkward pauses as you try to remember what's on the next slide. Have your go to phrases. That's a really good point, I'm going to note that down as a follow up and get back to you. I'm going to lean on X to answer this, they are closer to this.

And don't be afraid to pause before speaking. Heck, I've even had times where I've said something like, that's a good point, I'm just thinking that through. I mean, don't do this all the time and make sure the situation is okay for this approach, but if the extra few moments will help you get to a better or.more correct answer, then take a beat.

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