{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Any advice on job searching while pregnant or shortly after delivering? How soon after delivering did you feel like your competent self?", "post_id": "5e157c110b625e001afc5ceb", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Any advice on job searching while pregnant or shortly after delivering? How soon after delivering did you feel like your competent self?

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For after delivery, this will depend on: whether you breastfeed because if you do then you won’t sleep for four hours at a time for months, unless you supplement to get that four hours Whether you have the support or someone else to feed the baby bottles while you sleep 4 or even 6! hours in the days leading up to your interview A csection will take the most out of you because it’s such a large incision. So for me - 6 months (I had the worst case for all three factors) I actually had an interview at 4 months that I attended wearing orange flip flops because I was so tired leaving the house I didn’t notice. I should add I went back to work full time at 10 weeks.

I felt competent at seven months. At that point my baby was sleeping ~5 hrs in a row most nights. I had a friend start a new job at 4 months. It put a lot of pressure on her and she felt she couldn’t perform at first because she was still tired, even with a night nanny to do feeds and moving onto a bottle earlier than she had planned.

It can be done but it’s obviously not ideal. I did mock cases in person about 4-6 weeks after delivering and had my real interviews about 2 1/2 months after. It was tough, and I wouldn’t want to do that again!! But life doesn’t always work out perfectly. I was fortunate to have family help sometimes during the day so I could get snippets of time to prep and in the week before the interviews, hired a night nurse a couple times. (Long lead time to interview, so I’d prepped a lot before the baby came too.) All that to say, it can be done, but obviously kind of sucks. I also interviewed while pregnant—last one I was maybe 32 weeks. Did not feel on my game at all and sweated profusely throughout haha. Maybe other ladies would feel better at that stage than I did!

It’s making me question if I want a child...it seems like the system is against mothers.

And I’m so sorry - this place has been a haven for people to vent anonymously I guess because the assumption is that everyone is already a consulting mom and have the same frustrations, so you probably get a negativity bias from that... but it truly is amazing the love I feel for this little person I created, and the way it pushes me and my husband to become better people. In a sense it’s been hard because you’re forced to examine things like how you were brought up, your own tendencies in handling stress, and it requires you to communicate better with your spouse and whole “team” of people (in laws, nannies etc) and be better at project management, to organize and rotate all the stuff that’s taking over your house because of the baby outgrows things so quickly ... it’s hard but also rewarding to figure out how to nurture and create an environment for this little person to thrive - everything from baby proofing, to really pay attention and figure out their natural nap and bedtime schedules, to coming up with way to teach them things like first words, and using a basic toy, etc. I didn’t understand all that a working mom is doing behind the scenes when work was my sole “job”, and have such a greater respect for them now that I’m part of that group. The thing to remember is that - there are always trade offs in life and you can’t focus on comparing against others. Try to find something that works for you and your family for whatever stage you are in life. It’s unfortunate that we cannot have it all, all at the same time, but for my own joy - the disappointment that my career is stalling a bit now is definitely offset by the joy of seeing the world through my baby’s eyes.

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