Any best laid plans or life long dreams that got thrown for a loop by a sudden pregnancy? What happened? How did it work out? Do you miss your dream? Was baby worth it now looking back?

likehelpful
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It seems you don’t have other children. Do you want children, or is the issue timing? If you want children and don’t have any now, you don’t know the incredible joy and love they bring. I am not being critical but your last question is not even a thought - nothing else I could have done with my life or money is even a tenth as meaningful and important as my children. A fancy car or vacation or house is just laughable when compared to my kids. Sure it’s tough at times but so worth it.

For context, I did have your experience (at least sort of). My spouse and I had an unplanned pregnancy after I thought we were done, in my spouse’s mind we were still discussing another child. It was a shock for me and took a few months to come to grips with the decision having been made for us. I don’t regret the unplanned pregnancy in the slightest, not even for a moment.

This may also help you. Early in my career I was told nobody wants their tombstone to say spent all their time at the office. Similarly no one wants a tombstone to say Took great trips. It’s about relationships.

likeupliftingsmarthelpful

P1 out of curiosity, were you the one giving birth?

I’m exhausted but wouldn’t trade it for anything!

likehelpful

I’m a relatively new father and I’ll say this: yes, having kids is a fantastic experience, but don’t think that your life will be pointless and empty without them. Yes, I find joy and satisfaction raising my daughter but I also know I’d find joy and happiness were she not here.

likehelpful

Ours was a surprise. The best advice I was given by an older group of parents when pregnant was to fit the baby into your life not the other way around. It’s definitely easier said than done but has been really helpful to keep in mind. We love them and prioritize them but also prioritize ourselves as individuals, our relationship, our careers, etc. It’s not all balanced all the time by any stretch but we strive to never look at it as either/or circumstances.

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Another good piece of advice we heard when having kids: it takes at least 6 months to integrate a child Into your life. So those first months take a deep breath and know the those first struggles won’t last.

D1, I am a man and it was my wife who wanted another child and I was sure I didn’t. Also my fault for the unplanned pregnancy so maybe there was a subconscious desire for the child on my part.

Dreams are bullshit, I’m sorry. Your plans will never work out anyway, because that’s not what happens with plans. Roll with what you’re being given, it makes things much more meaningful in the moment

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