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I stopped being a boy mom when my son became an adult.
no snark intended
The reason why I called out the “boy mom” language is because it infantilizes our adult sons. why that’s important is because you are looking at his relationship through a different lens of a little boy who needs to be protected vs a young man who is needs some guidance.
my son has had a few serious relationships and I have gotten along with all of them. I figure there is something special my son sees in them and it’s my job to see it too.
I could be way off base but I try.
It’s common in certain cultures to think of adult children as that, children. My husband is 40 and his parents still call him ‘kid’ and got upset when he disagreed with them.
My mil dislikes me because I don’t cook or clean at her house as often as she’d like and gossips about me with her family members. When my husband would help out she commented that he had never washed dishes until he got married. Fortunately for us, we moved abroad so we don’t see them too frequently.
I truly love my DIL’s. We text often and I try to be helpful without interfering. My son’s are not the easiest people to live with and I commiserate with my DILs’. My younger son is a Captain in the Army with a couple deployments under his belt. I have used my flexible travel to go to their city on weekends to give my DIL some help. Both DILs’ are from our hometown and I knew and liked them and their parents for years. Their dads are best friends. I do have to remember to bite my tongue some days but over the last 7 years of their marriages I think we’ve had a lot more good days than bad. I loved my In-Laws as well. We have been married 40 years this past March. I miss his parents and mine.
Enthusiast
This sound like a beautiful relationship!
So, language of “boy mom” notwithstanding, I also would be curious. I think my MIL has a lot of great qualities, but am not always sure how she views me and I’m just interested in how people navigate these relationships/what experiences others have.
Rising Star
I’m a DIL and love my MIL. She goes out of her way to make me feel welcome and is just so supportive without being intrusive. We’ve both spent time building the relationship because it’s important to us both. I feel very lucky and can’t imagine having a MIL that didn’t want to work on building a strong relationship.
r/JustNoMIL says this is extremely common
Well the feeling is probably mutual 🙄
I think if we stop looking at the dynamic as a competition and start looking at it as a relationship we would all be better off.