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Chief
I literally don’t care what they think. I’m only willing to have a relationship with my family on MY terms these days - which means disrespect and unsolicited opinions are not tolerated. It took a lot of work to get to this point I feel very comfortable with myself my partner and the wonderful life I have that I truly truly don’t care what my family thinks. Of course it helps that I am completely financially independent from them and live in a different country haha. It’s also made a relationship with my family a lot stronger and more positive! 
I am scared but try not to think about it. I'm secretly not religious and don't want to have kids so marriage down the line will be hard to manage with my parents and expectations.
Chief
I don’t allow myself to worry about it and I do what I want. If my parents have a problem with it, tough.
I used to feel the same until I made a conscious decision that the only people that should have a say in my life are those that financially support me. Since I am the only person that financially support my life, no one has a say but me. I am very transparent with my family about this and it has helped me a great deal to manage the guilt/stress.
You need to stop caring. I am trying too
I’m trying to care less as well. The shit talking will never stop. It’s on us/ our parents to present “what we think” to the community and leave it alone after that. It’s exhausting to have to manage unrealistic family and community expectations.
Chief
I remember feeling so much pressure to drop everything for so and so sisters cousins brothers (enter obligation here). I have limited time these days and must prioritize people and activities that matter to me, not my parents, community etc. Good luck OP!