Any competent, adult fishies out there who aren’t confident drivers? Just moved out of the city and started driving for the first time in awhile...My friend asked my to drive out of state to visit

likefunny
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No. Like, I intellectually get it and I don’t judge you for it. Emotions and fears don’t have to be rational and I have empathy for you and how hard this makes your life.

But I don’t get it at all. Driving is so simple. Nothing scary about it at all. Literally all you need to do is pay attention and watch the road / what others are doing. Highway driving is a breeze, it’s usually easier to drive on the open road than it is to drive in cities.

I encourage you to drive and get over your fear if you can — it’s really not hard (the driving that is, I understand getting over irrational fears can be really tough). Best of luck to you.

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Wasn’t judgmental at all imo. That’s their point of view, and from it they could offer advice.

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I totally feel you OP. One day my partner called me into his office and asked if I have a drivers license (this was nyc). When I said yes, he said drive out to PA to a client for a few days. My fear of saying no was greater than my fear of driving so I drove. Then it snowed and I drove back at 30 miles an hour (with traffic) passing jack knifed trailers on the way. So I figured if I could do that, I could do anything. Then I moved to Atlanta and I was terrified, but I had to buy a car and I had to drive. Now after a few years it’s become habit to merge on to highways, look at my blind spot, be aware of other cars and trucks around me (still hate bridges though.) I’m really proud of myself! Also know where you are going so you feel confident with the directions. Then you can anticipate when to change lanes so you don’t miss an exit. Once you are on a highway outside big cities, put on cruise control and listen to podcasts so you don’t get bored.

likesmart
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YES. I moved out of NYC last year and just bought my first car. After not really driving for 6 years it definitely makes me uneasy and honestly a bit shameful for feeling that way 😣 it gets better though!

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Ok so update: I’ve committed, this inspired me, I know I’m competent so going to make the drive (the compromise I made with myself was to drive Saturday morning, rather than Friday night after work - rather be fresh and alert instead of stressed and a little tired, even if it means sacrificing part of Saturday morning with my friend... thanks everyone❤️

likeuplifting

Good for you! Also good call on Saturday morning, you will feel more comfortable in the daylight and rested.

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Local driving is much harder. Turns, exits, stop lights, etc.

Long distance you can just put it in cruise control and listen to music or a podcast — barely any decision making or action. Just stay out of the left (fast) lane :)

So, you’re already able to!

likesmart

✋🏻 I lived in big cities for the past 12 years & only drove once in a while (<10x/yr on average). I HATE driving. I get very nervous & tense & I drive exactly at the speed limit & people pass me & honk at me & it freaks me out. Local driving is ok for me, but I hate highway driving.

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I’ve always been a nervous driver in cities and congested suburban areas. I’m not worried about my awareness or ability to control the vehicle but everyone else is sketchy! I find it kind of a nice experience driving on long road trips because highway driving during off peak hours is a lot easier. You can listen to books, podcasts, music, or make socials calls you’ve been meaning to get around to, or you can just think in peace. It’s really good low stress alone time. I think you should go and it will help increase your confidence.

This is a good opportunity to ask others though, why the hell can’t people honor the reasonable distance rules for highway and interstate driving? Why are there so many tailgaters at high speeds? What is the point of that? It can’t get you there any faster to tailgate someone. Pass if you need to! I do 78-80 in the 70mph areas and try to stay 5 - 10 mph above the speed limit so as not to annoy other drivers and still get tailgated almost relentlessly. Speaking of social distancing to save lives, how many deaths could be avoided if everyone would just stop the friggin tailgating.

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And I initially said yes, but I’m honestly feeling like I can’t do it. I can handle local driving and even light highways, but I just dont think I’m up for it, and I hate myself for that.... any one out there living a full life without extensive driving confidence? Lol

The alt is taking the train to visit her, and she picks me up... but risking public transport just for a visit isnt worth it rn (rightttt?)

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I can relate. I’m a pretty anxious driver who is progressing and getting better. The more you drive, the easier it becomes. It helps me to plan my routes ahead of time and see the general directions of where I’m headed beforehand. It also helps to take the routes you *know* you’re afraid of to step out your comfort zone. Once you do it, the fear of the unknown goes away because you conquered it! Keep stepping out your comfort zone and it’ll get better.

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For me it was opposite. The more I drove in the city the more I saw how dangerous it is for all involved

smart

I’ve never owned a car and drive 1x/year. This sort of thing scares me too. But I know it’s an important skill to have. It terrifies me. I try to build “outs” or tell myself I’m safe and pullover if I need to

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Update! Just got back from my weekend trip, had a great time and actually found the drive surprisingly relaxing! Thanks for the push fishie fam:)

likeuplifting

Yes I have struggled with this after moving to the city and not driving for a long time. I have been going out more on routes I know during less busy times and this has boosted my confidence and comfort! The more you do it the easier it becomes

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Yes! This is me. Successful at everything and yet this (fear of driving) is my one weird Achilles Heel... But if you can challenge yourself to do it, you will be so proud of yourself. I need to practice more so that I get my confidence up.

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I cannot wait for self-driving cars to dominate the market. I grew up in cities all my life and have only recently begun practicing.

My main difficulty is merging and dealing with blind spots. I study my routes ahead of time so I know when to make turns and such, as I can't focus on navigating an unfamiliar route while driving safely at the same time.

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Yep. New Yorker for a time. Got out of the habit and, with the hours, never got around to getting the skill back even in a new city where i really should...

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I don’t drive at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Yes Chicago here... I hate driving. I sold my car 6 years ago and haven’t driven since. The last straw was when someone t-boned me because they were too stupid to look both ways before turning into oncoming traffic (aka me)

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I spent about 10 years barely driving at all and while now I’m very confident about city driving (except parallel parking - I was decent at it when I had to street park all the time but my current apartment has a lot and I lost that skill very fast). The furthest I’ve driven is 2 hours one way (and yes, I’ve done both ways in a day) - it’s about 6-7 hours to drive to see my parents and I’ll probably do it later this year. I know intellectually that I can do it...just don’t like sitting that long (even for 2 hours, I usually stop once to use the bathroom, walk around - would try to do it less frequently on a six hour trip).

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Pro tip: simplify the experience by understanding both the brake and turn signal are optional and can be replaced by proper, and often, horn usage.

funny

I get it but you will likely want to get over it. Driving is very helpful in life and you can get comfortable with it as long as you practice. Pick a good GPS app so it’s easy to read at a glance. I recommend Apple Maps over Google and Wayz but to each their own. I went from virtually no driving in NYC to driving 30 miles each way to work. I was only uncomfortable for the first week. Driving becomes second nature quickly as long as you practice. Good luck.

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