Related Posts
Rising Star
Enthusiast
How many here also have ADHD?
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Conversation Starter
Rising Star
Which is best Diabetes monitoring kit ?
More Posts
Conversation Starter
Chief
Enthusiast
Pro
Additional Posts in Desi Consultants
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
Chances of H.R. 392 passing ?
Any recommendations for long distance movers?
Rising Star
Yesssssssssss
I’m a woman. My issues are:
1. People wonder why I don’t hook up or date casually because I grew up in USA. Apparently, it’s “uncool” to follow a more traditional path. (Wanting “the one” and marriage)
2.There are some who think I’m too ambitious because I care about my career. I’m “acting too American” for them.
3. I’m not “western” enough because I don’t enjoy drinking or partying.
4. The fact that I don’t do Poojas or celebrate some festivals is alarming. I’m not an atheist - why is this a problem?
5. I watch Indian movies. Majority of my fellow ABCDs don’t like this. 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t really fit anywhere and sometimes I feel helpless. The judgement from friends, family and dates really is 😖. I think I will eventually go to a South Asian therapist who can help me with my frustration.
I honestly feel like you are me lol… I have gotten judged on 1,2,3,4, and 5. I always knew I wanted to date and marry within my religion and ethnicity. Now, there are some guys who are finally comfortable and mature enough to admit they want the same yet I get judged on 1 by them…sorry not sorry I knew what I wanted from the beginning …honestly kindof happy they weed themselves out.
Yes…Having grown up in the west, I feel culturally more desi, so keeping up with American culture (drinking, smoking, casual friendships, hookup culture, consumerism, etc.) and millennial desi Americans (often judgmental, confused, entitled, etc.) gets really tiring especially if you are someone who acknowledges that parts of desi culture are also deeply flawed and actively tries to speak up against the nonsense.
Yeah, millennial desi culture is another aspect of it as well. Such a large spectrum from very traditional to very “westernized” depending on the person
From an Indian…I am genuinely sorry that you had to go through all of this! On the bright side, you have the opportunity to speak up. I know it can be traumatic but I think it’s necessary to eventually develop a balance!
In my 20s, I had a tumultuous 3 years because I was so different than my parents. It took me 3 years to get them on the same page as me and now we are doing great! They have become very open-minded and no more annoying culture crap! I am 30, single, and no pressure to marry!
Activities like drinking alcohol, eating meat, casually dating/getting married, going into a non-traditional/unstable careers are viewed so differently across the cultures.
The backhanded comments from family can get so tiring if you don’t follow the traditional Desi path.
Many people just end up hiding all aspects of their life they don’t want to share with family (like Kumail in the Big Sick), but that’s also tiring.