Any female seniors on here? Wondering what it's like schmoozing clients who are mostly 'old boys' and men who grew up decades ago. Ever have to deal with casual sexism, inappropriate jokes etc?

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Thanks to both for advice. I'll stick with it and keep trying. Maybe the culture will change enough before the end of my career.

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^ I don't understand this advice. Is this along the same lines as "it's not about the rape he commits but the shortness of her skirt which inspires"?

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Sure all the time. But once they see me eat my pizza they are like "damn gurl, you love that za"

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I think the trick is to make some babies. Chat about kids is the most common denominator.

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It's less about what they say and more to do with how well you manage your reactions and yourself in their company.

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^ doesn't surprise me you don't understand. More experience and exposure will bridge that knowledge gap. Pro tip: pay attention to how the female seniors at your firm interact with diverse clientele. They'll understand what I mean and help you navigate your firm's social protocol. Also, consider bringing a male colleague with you to some of your client dinners.

Oh and if you are wearing short skirts to your client dinners, it is you who needs to reconsider which goods you are selling.

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Thank you for providing a living example of casual sexism. OP - there's no reasoning, logic or humour that can cut through some peoples' entrenched bias. Lucky for us these types of views are becoming less and less fashionable.

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^casual sexism". 😂 if you view said statement as some form of sexism, you have larger professional problems on your hands. But your response is a textbook example of entrenched bias. So thank you for offering to all this teachable moment.

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I can understand where both of you are coming from. It is a bit of a shame that "bring a male colleague with you to client dinners" is reasonable advice though. How long, I wonder, until that's not necessary? :/

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^ I commend you for recognizing both sides. It is mature thinking. So let me ask, why do you think it is a shame to bring a male colleague to your client dinner? For example, if a client is from any number of conservative cultures, older generation , and accustomed to socialize with men, why wouldn't you bring a male colleague to a dinner? At the end of the day, which is your primary objective: winning the client business for you and your firm or imposing your personal beliefs on a client? If it is the former, bring a male colleague (or a spouse)- not because you need a chaperone but because it reflects team diversity, it's another set of eyes, ears, perspectives for you; it may help with rapport building and serve as a buffer etc... If it is the latter, then there are other careers outside of business that are better suited for advancing social justices causes.

Here's the net-net, business today is complex and global. You'll meet people from all walks of life, generations and global cultures. You will come across statements that are against your perceptions and beliefs, but if you see and interact with the business world through the prism of all of theses 'isms, you set yourself up for a lot of unnecessary failures and many missed business and leadership opportunities.

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@VP1 I think it's a shame that "bring a male colleague" is advice because it reflects that women are still viewed as second class, as if having a man there will somehow make it better. No situation ever would I imagine "bring a woman along [to make the conversation go smoother]" being advice given to a man, so it's depressing that the reverse is true. I dislike that bringing a man along is my best way of dealing with people from older generations/sexist cultures. Is that it? I have a meeting with a client who tells me to wear a shorter skirt or talks at my chest instead of my face and the solution is, bring a man along for them to talk to instead?

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Op, read my original statement. I wrote "consider bringing a male colleague with you to SOME of your client meetings ". Some doesn't constitute all. Having done business with international clients( EMEA/Asia for example), yes at times, this advice is warranted and social protocol dictates. Just be smart and don't let your personal politics and the same entrenched biases that VP1 keeps demonstrating derail your wins. Best of luck

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Couldn't agree more. Is this client significantly more senior? I think this behaviour tends to be directed at young women but largely dissipates when you get to be more senior and the people with whom who are dealing are more on a par with you in terms of power / influence. In the short term I would recommend telling your boss that it happened but NOT let it appear as though it bothers you deeply. Show that you are mature enough to recognise that it's inappropriate but doesn't need to impact the quality of your work or your sense of fashion or, most importantly, esteem. But I do caution against discussing it / airing it so much that you appear to be affected personally or that "you can't understand a bit of banter". Over the longer term, don't worry about trying to develop meaningful relationships with those dinosaurs. Focus on building a rapport with people your age on the client or PE side because those will be your future clients.

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I find the best senior women who charm men and women alike are always humorous and bring levity to conversations - whether your style is being self deprecating or being able to throw clever banter back with the best of them. And for gods sake, order a Guinness or something if everyone else is drinking a beer, not that only person with the white wine... there are general social norms you can pick up as a functioning human which I've seen people screw up

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Guinness is pisswater tho

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^TLDR

Unbelievable. OP has asked women in this field how THEY deal with an issue which WE face. And buried within statements of reason you are recommending that women bring a man along to show her how it's done and that she should consider leaving commercial enterprise to go champion "social justice causes". You don't recognise the misogyny? (Not an ism btw). If this is your example of how to respond to an increasingly diverse world then you are doomed to fail.

OP - don't bring someone along to win the trust / rapport of your clients for you. Otherwise clients will remember that person rather than yourself. I find that if you project confidence, are competent at your job and are able to steer conversation towards things which you are passionate about (and so long as these topics are inclusive i.e. The person on the other side of the table can also contribute) then you'll be just as charming as you need to be in order to win business.

(For the avoidance of doubt I agree with OP!)

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