{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Any of you in teams where most of your coworkers are male? I am female and when in comes to interacting with them, i get extremely anxious and self conscious to the point of having a panic attack", "post_id": "578ee4db4e939e0f00656200", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "564a5cdb94887803001dd07c", "bowl_name": "Accounting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

Any of you in teams where most of your coworkers are male? I am female and when in comes to interacting with them, i get extremely anxious and self conscious to the point of having a panic attack

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Seems like these feelings go way deeper than the usual work team politics/drama. You will definitely need to get this sorted out because you will be working/dealing with men in any profession. Just based upon the post it seems like a therapist would probably help sounds like some deep rooted issues that are there

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Pwc 1- you are an ass. @OP I promise this is all in your head. I am a male on a team with all males except for 1 female (6 person day to day team on a public job). Number one piece of advice is let your work speak for you - I think in general if the sole female is a strong performer that the rest of the team will go above and beyond to make you happy! Use being female as an advantage!

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Relax

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Sure I'm an ass because not wanting to deal with An entire gender is completely normal behavior in a professional services firm. I'm sorry I invaded your safe space.

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Agreed, you need to sort out some issues with a therapist. No shame in that, I need to pay a visit to one myself. You'll be interacting with a lot of men in this profession so sort yourself out.

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@D1, PwC 1 wasn't really being an ass. Direct maybe but there wasn't any cruelty there. And letting your work speak isn't great advice because your value shouldn't hinge on your work. I know you mean well but relax.

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OP, I can relate somewhat, I avoided the break room because I was afraid to have interaction with coworkers and will purposefully avoid taking the same elevator where I have to be in confined space with certain male coworkers (still do sometimes) ... I didn't have to see a therapist or anything, I just focused on my job and once I got better at my job I found that people become less scary, less intimidating, and some will make their own attempts to make me feel comfortable. My clients love working with me, both male and female, they tell my boss that all the time. Also, it helps to recognize that shyness is somewhat narcissistic. Before I always think everyone is taking notice of me, watching me, and judging me... now I make a mental note that they are self absorbed too and are unlikely to remember or notice what I do or say. Also, if someone made you uncomfortable just call them an asshole in your head. Some men in the office are very nice and very friendly, some do make me extremely uncomfortable, in which case they are just assholes. It is not a big deal, not everyone have to like you, keep the narcissism in check!

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i've had bad experiences dealing with men in the past and I feel like they dont want anything to do with me... it so hard not to get a panic attack at least once a day because most of my engagements are with male coworkers. How do I deal with this issue? I feel like if I dont get this sorted out, it will cost me my job because mt coworkers will prolly think im a weirdo/bitch, when in fact im just very shy around men.

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I'm not offended but like your second post much better. Would like to add (unrelated to D1) that advice to get professional help sounds way more serious than it is. Go through EAP and rope somebody into having to listen. Worst case, the firms out money they already paid (they have to prepay EAP whether you use it or not). Would strongly advise just for the experience.

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OP's honesty is key. There's similar issues that need the honesty that this anonymous thread offers. They're not life or death but if you tried to bring them up, next thing you know a partner is talking to you.

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@Auditor 1, awesome post. And I never think about these things before they happen but the elevators rides are just as awkward for me.

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Most my teams are all men. I missed the female bonding at first but now I love the lack of drama. I've had to temper the rough bro talk but now they all treat me like a sister and I kinda feel like I lucked out overall. Just make sure tong find a solid female mentor at the firm you can talk to when you need to vent.

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You're not alone! I'm like the only diverse person on my team.... And that's even harder sometimes!

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glad im not the only one dealing with this issue @SA1

Sorry if the post came off as aggressive. Main point is that I don't think op needs help necessarily just needs to understand a few things as a staff - number 1 that your work is number 1 metric in public accounting and With good work the rest of the dominoes will fall and number 2 that in my experience us men will go out of our way to make a female feel comfortable on our team. I am sorry if I offended anyone just trying to give advice based on my experiences

D1 Based upon the original post it seems like the issues are with the op not with the team. Seems like the issue is that the team are men.

Pretty certain most people I work with (male and female) would way rather work with an all/mostly male team than an all/mostly female team. Consider yourself fortunate.

@pwc2 - why is that? i find that males are too direct with you and not very approachable

@OP, I'm a male and very direct but it's not out of judgement. With working with women, it's always a balance of me being less direct and them understanding that they can be more direct and it's actually appreciated. We're all constantly learning and key is to know you're fine.

This thread has been very informative honestly had no idea that these would even be issues. Thanks for bringing this up OP.

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