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TCS friends
C4 and C5, please share YoE and CTC.
Hi guys
I am working in Tata Consultancy kolkata from past 3 years, planning to get transfer to TCS Bangalore(hometown). Will there be any issues if I provide fake medical certificate for my parents? Also now they are forcing me to come back to kolkata office, is there any possibly they may let me work from bangalore office even if my project ODC is not there in bangalore?
Tata Consultancy
Whatâs everyone doing nowadays?
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You telling her directly won't help here. But you sharing stories of other families where they regret not going earlier for either their own family or themselves might resonate better probably. My mom has lived with this regret of not getting my grandmother proper physicals or medical care before a stomach cancer was caught too late. Since then she's been adamant in seeing the doctor and has managed to catch breast cancer and uterine cancer early to beat both. Now getting her to lose some weight is a different story đ.
Iâve shared many examples of the âwhat ifâ and âlook what happened when person A, etcâ stories and she still doesnât budge. Her entire family (parents, aunts/uncles) died at a young age and I believe she recognizes that. Thatâs why Iâm more so inclined to think sheâd rather not know and if itâs time to die, then let It happen. But I donât think she understands that prevention is so important. I also think sheâd rather not let her kids worry about taking care of her if sheâs really sick, but thatâs bound to happen if we know or donât know. And yeah, this is more than just her needing to lose weight. This is just a complete disregard for prevention
Ugh. Itâs difficult
Kind of similar, but maybe this can help.
I had a serious talk with my dad about follow COVID guidelines (no indoor eating and wearing a mask all the time). He keeps talking about how his immune system is âthe bestâ because he is so healthy and perfect and he takes care of himself by eating lots of protein and drinking honey and whiskey at night. Idk where he got most of his ideas (probably WeChat?) because most of them arenât even like rooted in Chinese medicine, theyâre just crazy. In the end, I got him to abide by the mask rules and to avoid indoor dining by guilt tripping him. The scared straight tactic seemed to bounce right off at first, but it wasnât until subsequent days that I saw his behavior started changed.
Essentially, I told him to imagine how guilty he would feel if he happened to catch COVID and end up in the ICU where none of his children could visit him. I told him to imagine how abandoned and terrified his children would feel to think their father may die or never live a normal life again. I then said to imagine how much regret and shame heâd feel to die alone in a hospital like that with his kids crying at home wondering how theyâre going to take care of the house, mom, etc.
Sounds extreme, but my parents used to tell me if I slept with the fan on in the summer Iâd die in my sleep. Apple <â- Tree.
I will say, though, on the other hand. Reminding your parents that you care they stay alive because you love them helps, too. I really think our parents think they are choosing the way they âgo outâ, when they get overwhelmed with their own health concerns. Sometimes they need to be reminded theyâre living for others too.
While I havenât found a solution myself, I can tell you that I struggle with the same issue. I suspect they have a fear of doctors theyâve developed due to previously being poor and avoidant because of the sheer cost. Although we have no issues paying even out of pocket today, the attitude remains. My mother had a cavity that we begged her to get checked for a year. We forcefully scheduled an appointment for her eventually and she obliged to go since we did it. Prior to this, we spent the whole year begging her, telling her all the possibilities as to how she could lose her tooth, etc. My moms tooth turned out to be so bad the bone where her tooth was simply deteriorated and she can no longer even get an implant. Sharing stories of other people didnât help, but just scheduling it for her and taking her the day of seemed to. I still struggle with begging both my parents to eat healthier. My mom hates vegetables and my dad wonât give up fatty foods. Itâs a nightmare. Enforcing this is hard on all of my siblings. My boyfriend though seems to have none. His Asian parents are the kind to relentlessly follow doctors. I hope you find a solution. Good to know Iâm not alone in this struggle