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“Tone policing is defined as "a conversational tactic that dismisses the ideas being communicated when they are perceived to be delivered in an angry, frustrated, sad, fearful, or otherwise emotionally charged manner." Managers striving to create a workplace based on equity and inclusion must understand how tone policing silences members of marginalized groups and allows discrimination to persist.” https://www-businessinsider-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.businessinsider.com/how-to-identify-and-help-stop-tone-policing-in-workplace-2020-8?amp
True ! 😅
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I had two. One was my college boyfriend, and I broke up with him Junior year simply because I “wanted to be single” (dumb, I know). The second was a guy I dated after my engagement ended (long story) and it seemed like we could never get the timing right. We dated on and off for 4 years.
Fast forward, I’ve reconnected with both of them over the past year and let me tell you … such a waste of time! I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago. I’m not the same person I was even 3 years ago. I’ve come to terms with “what’s for me is already mine.” I consider those men to be reminders of joy and happiness. I tell myself that they were my reassurance that feelings of love are possible. But we’re at two different points in our lives.
Be careful with declaring things as permanent. It never is. You’ll eventually find someone who complements the person you are now.
And if you and the guy should ever come across one another again (whether it be by happenstance or social media, etc) then I hope you get the opportunity to try again 💕
☹️ for what its worth, regrets can work off distorted thinking - we really don't know what would have been, we may be remembering selectively. Also, my judgement was garbage ten years ago, its too much pressure to expect to have known what you do now. Don't be hard on yourself!
Katy Perry is right, sister!
It depends on did you find a partner now or not? I felt that way but my husband now made me feel better about letting go of the other person
Try and reframe the situation. They were a wonderful person in your life at that time. They taught you lessons (about love, relationships, what you want in the future, the kind of relationship and person you want)
Appreciate them for who they were to you, and try not to compare others to them. Remember that you don't know everything about this person and they are not perfect, because no one is. Thank them. You can even write them a thank you to put into words what they mean to you. It's for you, not them, it doesn't need to be sent.
Then try to move on and keep an open mind about people you meet and how those new relationships may develop.
This! Perfectly said!