Anybody manage a hostile divorce and project work simultaneously? Don’t have the financial means to take an LOA so have to do this while working, getting bad, similar experiences out there?

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went through separation - really tough.
constant battles for just visitation. after few months, gained weight and couldn't sleep. took awhile for me to realize, I needed help. I joined a support group at a local church. while I am not religious having an opportunity to connect with people, helped. I started putting myself on a schedule, looked for groupon deals for fitness classes. anything to make sure, I wouldn't be home alone. I am a work in progress, hopefully this helps.

likesmartupliftinghelpful

I don't know rocked means, but i survived

Same same same as above.

There’s a point in every divorce that becomes toxic— maybe it’s only a week, maybe it’s months. You’ve gotta ask for some help at work because I promise you when this is done, your stable job is going to be a god-send to you.

Think hard about what you’re fighting for:
— The only priceless things are the minutes with your kids ( if you have kids). Shared custody is a GIVEN, residential custody should be in the kids’ best interest (swallow your pride if needed), and child support is what it is. Speaking as a mom without residential custody who pays child support.

-If you’re worried about something you already own or have earned, think hard about continuing to engage in the fight. You know its current value, figure out if the lawyer fees will reduce it anyway and just cut your financial and emotional losses. Losing equity, savings, retirement is a GIVEN in divorce. For a time, divorce is financially toxic to everyone. But after a bit... somehow it gets better and better and better. I promise.

- For future income... I have no experience. I was the breadwinner and wasn’t asked for alimony, so I cannot speak to that.

I’m sorry. It’s a terribly painful time and I had a total beyotch boss — but ended up having a martini with my ex after our divorce was final in court. Just remember that the attorneys want as much of the both of you as they can get in fees.

likehelpfulsmart

D1 I’m really happy for you. Hugely recommend seeing a therapist to help work though things like this.

likesmart

Yes and it’s brutal. All you can do is try your best, grit your teeth and muscle through it. Good luck. There are better times ahead.

likehelpful

Are you seeing a therapist? If not I highly recommend to talk through coping strategies.

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I was working remote which made things a lot more readily survivable. I tried a therapist for a few weeks then switched to a psychiatrist. It made a huge difference in both my ability to make financial, business, and personal decisions. I tried handling everything on my own and remember spending all time not on conference calls curled up in bed.

If you have a decent relationship with your boss, you should probably let them know. I managed to hide it from most at work but don’t think I could have fooled my boss for long.

If you want to message me about it, feel free.

likehelpful

Having a hard time focusing on project work while juggling legal appointments and constant calls, getting tough.

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I think you can have your attorney ask for realistic appointment times that allow you to work. But see my comment about attorneys...

I believe I am about to walk in your shoes. But I am over 50 with kids in high school. She asked for the divorce twice before but this time I finally gave in as I am clearly not making her happy. Good luck.

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I highly recommend divorce counseling. It’s like couples counseling, but the focus is on your new relationship as co-parents. We negotiated most of our agreement there.

smart

Hugs OP, this is a challenging, painful time. If possible do self care...

checking in how is it going OP?

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