Anyone else feel like it’s impossible to explain our jobs to friends? I’ve been struggling with this for years and now my best friend is getting married, asking me to tentatively reserve numerous weekends for a shower and bachelorette that may or may not happen (I’m the MOH). Of course I’ll do my best to prioritize her plans but it makes me feel like a bad friend and mentally exhausted to always try to explain big law. (Disclaimer: I’m decent at drawing work life boundaries when possible)

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Make time for the things you care about. The job won't care if you die.

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Cont: Sometimes I just get really annoyed when friends don’t understand, but try to remind myself it’s my fault for choosing this profession. Any tips or general commiseration would be appreciated.

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Ugh unfortunately can relate. I think it’s considerate of you to have taken the call in the car though and not during the dinner. Hopefully your wife is at least understanding. My husband is really good about it but he also has a crazy work schedule so it works out.

I just tell them that it’s like being a doctor who’s on call. They understand that analogy. It’s just clients instead of patients with emergencies.

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Why did you accept the MOH role if you're not willing to take on the bare minimum responsibility of saving a few open weekends? I feel bad for your friend.....

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I’ll be out of state for a trial before her wedding which she knew when she asked me. Somehow I thought we could work it out around that if we solidified weekends now but maybe not.. yea I feel like a terrible friend too.

Explain to her that due to your job you may not be available for every event and then suggest MoB and MoG host the shower. You take care of the bachelorette. I've been a bride and was always super mindful of people's time. My church mom helped with my wedding planning. My favorite SiL did my shower. And my girlies organized the bachelorette. All of the above were amazing and they talked to each other. Everything was a success. Beware of brides that think everyone has to give them everything and every second, and whatever they say goes.

Same!!!! Super personal opinion here-- she will regret not having a bachelorette. So sit her down, get a weekend settled, and start planning. Let bride figure out the shower with her mom and future mom.

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