Anyone else feel like the more successful you become, the more hate you receive from the pole closest to you? I’m sorry I don’t have energy to be at every event or party. I’m sorry that my career and relationship are top priority for me. I’m sorry that it feels like I get more love from strangers sometimes than from my own “circle”

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I bet you’re under 30.

Eventually all those people fade away. Then you’ll start feeling lonely. Then you’ll start the self-reflection phase of life where you relearn everything you thought you knew about yourself.

Then you’ll turn 40.

like

Thats the thing. I think I am the most serious about my career of all of my friends , for now at least

Look, there’s nothing wrong with your career and (presumably) professional relationships being a top priority for you. But you can’t expect others to be cool with being a non-priority either.

like

Thank you.

like

If you want to be part of a community you have to show up and contribute, which means attending events and parties. If you’re okay having your career and relationship be your whole life, then by all means keep doing what you’re doing.

like

I do show up to birthdays and big events . What I cannot do is make every club night or random event during multiple weekends in a month

like

Do whatever makes you happy but is it really working so much? Because these partners will not gaf if you are ever in the hospital but your family might so choose wisely.

like

I’m 29 and my wife and I just had twins. Career and family are my top priorities. I know what you mean to an extent though because I’ve caught shade from my more insecure friends who haven’t accomplished the same things I have. I’ve decided to prioritizing the friends that actually want me and my family to do well, not those that pocket watch and are envious.

like

Agreed. I feel like I had a lot of friends growing up but the number is dwindling down to below 5. You begin to notice when accomplishments are ignored but people rush to your side when anything bad happens

like

If I’m ever successful I’ll come back and let you know.

likefunny

Same

The older you get the more you focus on a few key friends and your family. It’s a natural thinning of your herd. And in my experience it makes those in your herd more meaningful and more likely to really show up for you when you need it. And then you don’t feel lonely while simultaneously being surrounded by lots of people and lots of activity. Because at some point if the party scene does not fade in your life that’s how you feel.

like

I'm not at all suggesting that you are so focused on your career that you're putting your health in danger but someone gave me this thought and it really helped me put things in perspective. If you were to drop dead tomorrow, your firm would replace you and move on within days or weeks, but the people in your "circle" would be feeling the loss of you for a long time. Also, you're under 30--you have a lot of years ahead of you and any success you have had up to this point could easily go up in smoke. Think about who would be there for you were that to happen.

like

I 100% whole heartedly agree. But a few years of focus can change your entire life. I try to be there for my friends but the amount of people I can truly show up for is decreasing because my free time has significantly decreased as well

like

If you don’t make time for the people in your life, it’s only natural that the relationship will grow cold. The people closest to you may be shunning you because you distanced yourself from them, not because of your success specifically. People will always be more important than your job. It’s wonderful that you love your career and are motivated. Just don’t forget loved ones. 😊

like

That’s scary

like

Ppl* wow, thanks autocorrect

like

do you

like

good point

like

Pole?

Related Posts

I’ve been meaning to mention to my grandfather for a while that I have a boyfriend but I don’t want to make it like a dramatic coming out and it just hasn’t come up naturally. I haven’t seen my grandfather in person in over 2 years and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year.

My immediate family already knows as well as my grandmother from the other side who lives with them. Should I just keep waiting for it to naturally come up or should I have an intentional conversation about it?

like

Curious: Which anniversary do you and your SO celebrate? When you first started dating, got engaged or got married?

like

Anyone else have parents that love them but give terrible advice? Every time I've followed it, I've been miserable, unsuccessful, missed glorious opportunities or been worse off for the sacrifice. My sibling on the other hand does what he wants and is now super successful and living the life for it.
I regret being the obedient one, the good sibling, all for nothing. They like him better anyways, always have and now more that he's successful and living their dream.

like

Relationship is going pretty well apart from my partner being pretty unhealthy… I like to eat clean in general but she doesn’t like veggies and I’m a little fearful for our future family if she’s just encouraging them to “eat what you feel like” is there anyway to help change this behaviour? Any suggestions? It’s not like I never go eat fast food or what not, just that our frequency of consuming desserts has increased exponentially after we started dating and she doesn’t exercise either

like

Making new friends pool side

Post Photo
like

I lie to my girlfriend every time we make plans — I always tell her to be ready an hour before I want her to be and she’s still normally running 15-30 minutes late

likefunnysmart

Out of state for v-day. Bf is in grad school and super stressed, and I wanna do something for him but I need ideas!

like

What's your go-to work music? Or do you work better in complete silence? I can't work in silence without my brain getting loud, so I listen to house music or jazz while I work. My sister (who also has ADHD) can't get anything done unless it's dead silent. Just wondering what works for others

like

My family/friends ask me for store discounts all the time. It's really uncomfortable to say no, but I have to. Any tips on how to handle these conversations?

like

Hi folks, looking for recommendations of a nanny/manny or night nanny/manny. Located in Denver. Thank you!

like

My girlfriend is willing to break off our entire relationship because she found out my mom doesn't approve of her. We have no issues between each other but she said she can't be with someone who's family doesn't like her.

like

What are your biggest regrets in dating? Anyone regretted staying with someone for too long?

like

I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

like

My mind is constantly going back and forth between how stagnant I am in my job with no prospects, how shit my relationship is, whether my rent is gonna increase, can I afford it and how this was somehow all I wanted at some point yet can’t seem to be satisfied which leads me to wonder if I will ever be. I’m so tired lol

like

What do you do when your lifelong friends get married, have kids and disappear to the burbs or wherever and you’re single, lonely and gay?

like

I'm so glad to see the changes to accept more women in academia in recent years. I'm hopeful that my own daughter will be able to follow in my footsteps one year.

like

When did you tell families you were pregnant?

I have a family trip in a week, where I'll be 11 weeks pregnant. Seems like a great opp to tell my family all in person, but I'm not sure if it's too early. This is my first (and first for either of our families, for that matter).

like

Does anyone here have OCD or have a partner with OCD? My spouse has severe contamination OCD and I struggle with how best to support, but not enable them... any tips?

like

Has anyone moved significant distance to be close to parents or in-laws? Any regrets or thoughts? Wife and I are in our 30s with one infant and another planned, and currently have no family close by. We both work remote and are considering moving to be closer to family for support.

like

Woman approaching 40, dated once, LTR once and heartbroken by 32 as I found the man in LTR was cheating on me. Shut my heart completely to ensure never give anyone the power to hurt me. Today I wake up and see years have passed. I have checked off many bucketlist items being single for these years including solo euro trip. But now I feel I can’t go on forever. I just wish I had someone to plant a good morning kiss, like simple things in life. Hard to share these feelings, hence confessing

like

More Posts

Thinking of selling off all my crypto. Before I do, anything I need to know (tax implications, why not to, etc)?

like

Hi guys! Planning a trip to europe in late July and trying to find a schengen visa appt in chicago and having trouble. Seems a lot of countries don’t have slots?? Freaking out. Any advice on which country is easier to find appts and has a fast processing time? Thanks!

Client posted a role I'm interested in and definitely qualified for. Is it bad to apply or what could go wrong if I decide to? It would be a pretty significant raise.

like

Hello Fishes,

I need your suggestion, I have received 3 offers and I'm not able to decide which one to join.

40LPA fixed
35LPA fixed + 2 Joining bonus
31LPA fixed + 3.5L variable + 14Lacs/year RSUs

YOE: 6 years

Tech Stack: Full Stack (React, React Native, Node)

like

How do I not die single...... lol

likefunny

What is the maximum Ericsson can offer for JS4?
Role- Data Scientist

Hello Everyone. Thank you for liking my responses and finding my answers meaningful and insightful. Fishbowl has recognised me as "Chief" and I am glad that I am able to help few of you. If anyone needs guidance or support then feel free to DM me here and I will try my best to help you! Thank you all!

like

Hi folks,
I'm Android Developer having 8 YOE, have recently joined a company like 2 months ago, the company is good in terms of everything, I'm hired as a manager but I feel the position isn't suitable for me, one the position is 95% non technical, I feel like I will not achieve much from the company. I feel like quitting the company but having no other option, I can't do much, tried applying for jobs but no luck so far, I got hardly 2 calls in last 10 days. Pls refer me, Thank you.

like

Hi everyone,

Need a suggestion
I am holding an offer in hand of 12LPA and now I got interviewed and selected for Barclays offering BA4 grade in AML domain and salary is yet to be discussed.
How much is the salary bracket for the role and if it comes to counteroffer, how much to ask!??

like

Can anyone suggest the expected fixed salary as per current market standards?
RYOE: 5
CTC : 11 FIXED
Skill : PEGA

Thanks in advance.

like

Pls help me pick one offer!
1.
Goldman Sachs: 22-23 LPA (Fixed)
2. PWC AC Bangalore: 28 LPA (Fixed)

Yoe: 7
Domain: PM

Brand name or higher package?! Kindly suggest why .. thanks Sharkss! Goldman Sachs Pwc AC PwC

like

Hey folks,

Need an opinion.
Which track would you choose for your career in the pharma/ biotech industry: specialist or generalist? Why? More specifically, generalist strategy manager of internal strategic and ops projects or specialist R&D portfolio manager?
Additional considerations:
* Not asking for myself but for a friend working in a pharmaceutical company
* They are currently located in Europe but interested in an international career and in an option with best progression potential

like

I pick up an eagle eye for girls' flaws right when it becomes time to seriously commit. Help?!

like

What is 'Ee ESI contribution' mentioned in payslip, do we get any benifits from this?

like

Best “real people” portrait photographer?

like

I am told that CSM is not a sales job (so not commission based) yet you are expected to respond to targets. Can you please explain the difference and whether there still is an element of pressure with hitting your targets?

like

In my first trimester and I want to make sure I’m not being overly skeptical of my OBGYN. What are some red flags to look out for when searching for a good OBGYN?

like

How burnt will my bridge be if I quit in the middle of January. To a competitor.

like

What do you think the Russians have on Trump to cause him to never criticize Putin, only lightly criticize Russia and refuse to implement sanctions.

Personal guess? Evidence of money laundering.

likesmart

What's your plan if the traitor, despite all odds stacking up against him off late, wins?

like

Additional Posts in Law

What’s the worst/most disappointing event you had to miss/work through because of your workload/deadlines?

likehelpful

Is there any point in “claiming” your Avvo profile if you’re part of a firm (rather than a solo practitioner relying on that kind of thing for business)..?
Are there pros Vs any cons to claiming it..?

like

How soon can you leave a new job before raising eyebrows in interviews? Obviously it depends on why and how long, just wondering generally speaking

like

Best firms for diversity 2019?

like

You ever saying something stupid in front of a partner and can’t stop thinking about how he/she probably thinks you’re a dumbass? No? Just me?

likefunny

PI Attorneys: What are some of your best talking points in negotiations with adjusters?

like

Testifying in federal court in an evidentiary hearing. Any words of advice ?

like

Anyone have any experience being brought into ownership of a small/solo firm? Just wondering what is typical in terms of ownership percentage, buying in, the process, etc.

like