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You probably bought too much house.
Pick up a job, focus on dividend investing, pick up real estate income. Raise your income period. All the choices unfortunately are sunk unless you are willing to make drastic changes to your house, car, groceries, discretionary spending. Ideally you’ll both cut your expenses and raise your income, only way to get out of the hole and start generating real wealth.
My husband and I live comfortably with 60K salary. Are you living within your means?
60k a year? That is fine as a single person in east over-shoe upstate-uncommutable, work at a company that will keep you for more than 5 years, holier than f'in thou, mom and pop shop, with a woodstove, cistern, victory garden, compost hill, & tiny house etc. Good for freakin'you. Not not being Laura Ingells Wilder, I want to go to the movies now and again, and I am not rinsing the kids diapers by hand and hanging them to dry on the shack instead of curtains. Oh and I neuter my pets.
Different situation, but I’m in a European capital making 145k€ combined with my wife and I don’t feel well-off at all. Mortgage, childcare, grocery and bills leave barely anything at the end of the month. We are able to save a little bit but that’s at the expense of having fun / buying cool stuff. Doesn’t help that the competition pays 70% more for my role.
Let’s discuss some areas of the US with lower costs of living and decent to great economies and quality of life. Atlanta, Texas cities like HTX-DALLAS, North Carolina cities like Raleigh-Durham-Charolette, Ohio, Colorado, etc. Any notable ones?
Can you share the budget? I make 115k, pay my mortgage, max my retirement accounts, and spend 20k/yr on my hobby and feel I want for nothing.
Me too and I live in NYC with just one income.
I read an article some time ago that said it now costs $350k / year to live a middle class lifestyle in a big city. We just broke a $340K HHI with 1 kid this month, coming from $255K. Obv, we have a lot more wiggle now but at $255K with student loans, private daycare, max 401K, and a mortgage, it still felt like we had to closely monitor our spending and couldn’t overindulge.
Things are expensive these days and the more you make, the more you want to spend. What’s worked for me is to closely monitor budget and spending each month, plan ahead for bigger purchases (decor, furniture, vacays, etc.) and to just make sure that if there needed to be a monthly increase in spending, my husband and I were completely sure that it’d be a maintainable expense if one of us lost our jobs and that it was a necessity. Wish I could say that it gets easier but when debts and education expenses come into play, it’s really hard to achieve the comfort we’re told we should have once we break a certain income level.
If you don’t want to empathize, then don’t @AD. But at the same time, things like having children and education have only become luxuries in recent years. It wasn’t always like that. I’m only 33. When my mom was sending me through private school and even partially through college (pricey UMiami), that was an accessible thing to do for her on about $55k by herself, no external help (dad passed, no life insurance / no wealth to pass down) in the late 90s through early 00s.
The fact that someone has to be on the higher end of income now to do that very thing is startling and isn’t something that should be dismissed by telling people who clearly work hard to eat struggle meals. Many people that fall below $100K HHI, heck even a $60k HHI, in major cities don’t have access to basic care and necessities because of how much things have gotten. Yes, as high income earners we’re all pretty much in the same boat, but those that make true middle class incomes don’t even have access to a boat to begin with. But that’s a whole other conversation about wealth inequality and inequity that a lot of people like to stay blind to.
Why do y’all have several hundred thousand in student loans but have jobs less than $150k? that wasn’t smart
Pro
So I can die without paying it off. Stay mad ✌️
Look at debt and try to get it down. Look at recurring payments… cell, cable, gym membership ect. Get rid of those. Sometimes a side gig temporarily can help know out things like that…
The issue today is the ratio of expenses to earnings which is larger than its ever been. My husband and I had more available funds after paying bills when we made a lot less than $100k with our first home which was a real fixer upper. Of course that was 25 years ago. That changed later with our 2nd home even though we earning double. Our property taxes have quadrupled and they’re basically a rent payment on top of the mortgage. It’s extremely difficult today because expenses keep increasing at a faster rate than salaries.
uh… yeah they are. They have been for decades. People aren’t getting 6% raises. Has anyone welcomed you to 2021?
Make more is all I can say, keep hustling.
Ah yes, undoubtedly better, P1.
Doesn't change my point: We learned to manage money well even at 55k... and we didn't just wake up the next day at 320k, we climbed there little by little.
More money will definitely make life easier but more money won't make you a better manager of finances.
We were in the same situation 9 years ago. Lived off of $90K in Chicago while my wife stayed home with our 3 year old. We had nearly $180K in student loans set at a time when interest rates were higher.
However, we purposely lived below our means. We rented a 2 bedroom flat for $1400 per month and ate out a couple times a week. Got rid of both cars and rode our bikes and skateboards. 🤣
Fast forward 9 years, we are down to $50K in student loans. HH income is $320K+ and NW at $2M excluding home equity.
In short, it takes a few smart decisions (eg job hop, lifestyle change, a promotion or two, and luck ) and belief in yourself to get there.
Came for the out of touch comments, stayed for the judgemental ones.
smh people make a buttload of money, then complain they can barley survive like this
but take a closer look and half of them are leasing a ‘21 Mercedes SUV when they could easily get a 2018 Honda Civic for a fraction of the price. They have big lavish homes an apartments because it “was in their price range” but 30% of your income to rent is a general maximum recommended, not a goal to hit. Less is more.
I’m not accusing you of this, OP, everyone’s situation is different. But I’ve seen it enough to feel I should mention, take a look at the things that are necessary - home, vehicle, etc. Then see if you’re maybe spending on the higher end of those things. Maybe the house or condo is ambitiously big or in an expensive area, maybe the car is more fancy or higher-end than you really should be paying for.
These aren’t quick fixes, but something to consider in the future if you happen to notice a little more spending than is necessary there. There’s nothing to be ashamed about having a small flat or driving a Toyota
Again, not stating as a fact this is you OP, but after reading some of these comments, i bet some of those people are here
Agreed
@OP, can you provide us a high-level breakdown of your expense categories for your combined $155K salaries? example categories being Housing (mortgage + Hoa), food, Cars (+ gas+ Insurance), any other loans, any other discretionary savings/payments you are making, etc
Rising Star
No kid NEEDS all that. Those are all things you are choosing to spend money on. Some of those things are crazy extra expenses. But at least now we know why you think you can’t afford things.
We make that too with 3 kids and it’s a struggle bus I’m thankful student loans are on hold because if not we would be drowning and the third baby was a surprise and he hasn’t started daycare yet…
You likely have a poor grasp of "wants" vs "needs" amd how they are applied when budgeting. Examples: Housing is a need, but that doesn't mean that your current housing isn't too expensive when considering your savings goals. Transportation is a need, but maybe you should have 1 car and 1 metrocard instead of 2 cars.
I recommend you consult a financial planner to help you think through your situation in a structured manner with access to more info than shared here.
I agree that it isn't black and white like great schools vs 2/10 schools. Maybe some compromises in the gray areas are needed. Why not a 7/10 instead of 8/10 school? House with 100 fewer square feet in the 8/10 school district? Area that is 5% more sketchy, but not Afghanistan?
Budgeting 155k when median household income is around 67k does not exactly put OP in dire straits.
I make 215k and can barely get by. I just have too much debt, including student loans.
RSM1 and AD1, not here to judge, but can you share how you arrived at such high student loan balances? I’m genuinely curious
Hate to see OP struggling but honestly, posts like this are needed because this financial state is much more common than the consultants posting about millions to their name. I make $115 potential to make $126-130, and am literally barely getting my. Car loan (bad purchase, too expensive especially since moving to HCOL area and can’t get a decent ROI at this point), student loans, numerous surprise medical bills, and mental health issues fueling some impulse purchases has me literally struggling. If it helps OP, it’s not just you struggling. I’m moving in with bf which will help save, and I’m majorly cutting back on eating out, cutting out coffee, working on free or cheap activities on the weekends, and watching a lot of financial YouTube videos for inspiration and guidance on not impulse buying. There’s also a lot out there about reframing your thoughts towards abundance rather than poverty which should help turn your thoughts into productive actions such as saving. Good luck - I’m here for the tips too.
Also, the comments on budgeting every dollar - idk why but that method has always given me major anxiety and makes me feel hopeless. It has never been sustainable for me.
Sell the car. Used cars are going for a premium. Follow a budget. You can make it!
Pro
I live comfortably on 78k. Have a mortgage and a child I support. I don't understand how you can't live on 155k
Lol my mortgage, taxes and HOA are $3300 a month in Chicago for a two bedroom condo.
This is hard to imagine. My husband and I got by on 40k in New York City when we were starting out. Granted, things were tight, but we could pay what we needed and even have a little left over for fun.
Where's all your money going?
I lived with my fiancee in a small apartment with an air mattress, a card board box, and plastic stools about 20 years ago. Basically, we were living on a prayer.
Just the two of us, we were young, energetic, and happy.
We would honestly give up our money today to have that youth and hope back.
this is crazy and almost makes me angry tbh lol. Ive been making 70k since the pandemic started and am now at 80k. I live in Chicago with 2k rent/utilities and I am also supporting my husband who has been out of work since the pandemic hit. we arent saving anything beyond what I already had put away, but we are fine. your household brings in twice what mine does. time to take a real hard look at where it all goes.
Single, making 170 before bonus but still can’t keep up with the stress!!! Stay strong
My income is about the same, same city too. 2k mortgage, I max out on 401k and HSA, plus I have investment accounts, no car payments, little debt, no kids. I feel I'm living comfortably.