Anyone else feel lonely like this?
I feel like I always make the extra effort to call, to hang out, to keep in touch with friends. I always get a lot of love and they care. Just wish someone would go out of their way to be there for me for a change.

likehelpful
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Me too OP.
When this all started, I called a lot of people.

It shocked me when a week later an old friend checked in on ME! I almost cried. I even texted him back later thanking him for that. I appreciated it SO MUCH.

I had forgotten, that people can want to initiate and see how I am doing too. It almost never happens and makes me so sad.

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All the time. The sad truth is that over the past few years social media has turned most people self absorbed narcissists. Nobody has time for anyone anymore unless you're like in their top 3 closest friends. Unfortunately for me, and maybe you too, I'm not in anyone's closest friend's circle

likesmart

I’m an introvert who reaches out much less frequently because of this. I also deleted social media, I don’t really regret that either. A lot of people have moved away and it’s just hard to keep in touch. Add kids and marriage into the mix, and poof.

I still try reach out a couple times a year, and I’ve had people straight up ignore me or give me passive one word answers. I still have some friends left, and I occasionally make news ones through events and hobbies. So I’m slowly starting to come to terms with it. If I’m putting in some effort at least I know I tried. That trumps the feeling of rejection in the long run.

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I’m with you OP. I found especially as I get older and my friends have all found their person I’ve slipped down their list of priorities while they’re still my priority. It’s really tough. Been trying to make new friends who are in a similar position as me but of course this whole situation put an end to that. Hang in there. Sending you good vibes! If you want to chat feel free to DM!

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I feel you OP. I’ve brought it up with a few close friends before, who I know care a great deal for me but still I’m the one usually reaching out. They reinforced that they love hanging out with me and catching up with me but either figure I’m busy and will call them on my time (rather than them trying me when I’m prob busy) or are just used to me reaching out to them and expect it/wait for it. Still frustrating, but helpful to know it’s not out of unwant to talk to me. I truly think some people are simply more passive beings

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I’m an introvert but I do occasionally feel this way. I’m also 43, single and childless (by choice). I’m lucky to have an amazing work parter (for non ad people writers and art directors usually work as a dedicated team). She’s also my best friend and basically my sister. She’s there all day WFH and after work. But that’s a weird exception.

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Yes, just talked to my husband about this. I feel like my friends dont really treat me like they should. I tell them my grandfather died and we had a virtual funeral because of the virus & i get generic “sorry to hear that” without even a “how are you?”. One has been 20 min away from me for stay in place for over a month and didn’t tell me (they live in another state usually). They do nothing to keep our friendship going except post random videos in our group chat. Well thats not enough for me. But idk what to do because when we are together everything is great & i want to give them the benefit of the doubt.. ugh

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Same here

Ditto

Same

I’ve found that extroverts often complain about this. Anyone here an introvert and can prove me wrong?

I'm an introvert as well and get my feelings hurt by this

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I’m probably the type of person who’s on the other side of this. For example, right now, I have a relative in ICU for coronavirus. I’ve informed the people around me and my friends. But tbh I get really irritated by all of the messages. I’m not an external processor. I process everything internally so I need space. I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t enjoy texting. Not everyone is like me, I know. So I try to be understanding that they are probably the kinds of people who need the reassurance they’re are trying to give me. Ex. “Sending positive thoughts your way!”

I am most irritated by people I don’t know really well because my closest friends are introverts too. We don’t expect immediate responses from each other because we know we are important to one another. Basically, secure that our friendship won’t change. (But even if it does, it is what it is.)

So while I get what everyone is saying, know that the people on the other side are trying in their own ways too. Some of us are just trying to survive. I don’t want to have to take care of my friendships when I’m in survival mode.

Same here and it makes me feel like they don’t care and I’m only one putting in effort

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