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Hi Fishes,
Can you please give suggestion... I joined a company as a java developer... 3 yeo but when went into project I saw they r using HCL Commerce(they have ecommerce website)... Is this tech is good for java professional ? It's totally new for me. It's not like traditional java development project.
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Yes. Used to happen to me a ton in the auto industry, especially while at the plants.
Conversely, I now have a female partner I work with at the firm who curses and in meetings and apologizes to no one. She’s my hero
That’s when you respond with “yeah that’s right, you better fucking apologize for that language!”
Jokes aside - I understand the frustration. I tend to point it out in a humorous but firm way that I’m not the only judge of professionalism in the room. In my experience that brings it back to a question of “should I have said this at all in this room” instead of “should I have said this in front of x (female) person.”
That way it can be interpreted multiple ways - if it’s unprofessional in that context, then they realize they should apologize to everyone. If it’s a setting/audience where it doesn’t matter, then we all laugh it off because it doesn’t matter.
Usually not a repeated situation with the same person unless it’s an older man who’s been apologizing to women for cursing for 60+ years and/or we’re in a certain area, e.g., the deep south in the USA
I would just "Thanks, but I don't give a flying fuck if you cuss or not."
I usually say, "what the fuck are you apologizing to me for? I'm a better sailor than you! Apologize to Greg, he's the one blushing!" (Replace Greg with someone who can take a joke in the room). Works every time.
Then later, I usually find a moment to tell them that they should try to apologize to the whole room if they are afraid of offending someone. Some men find cursing off putting too. Source: I curse a lot and one of my male staff came to me and asked if I could take it easy in front of him. Very humbling.
I am a woman and personally find that respectful. I don’t curse at work and would not want to be treated like “a bro”.
I see no problem with someone apologizing for cursing, it just bothers me when they apologize only to the woman in the room because it perpetuates sexist roles with undertones of toxic masculinity
you could turn to him and say “not a problem muthaf*cka”. kidding, not kidding
I curse like a sailor and my teams and partner know it, they all think it’s funny. Of course I keep it professional with clients so when they apologize to me for cussing, I just smile and say no offense taken. Then my team and I have a good laugh about it afterwards.
Honestly, there’s so much that can offend me as a woman working in a male dominated environment. This isn’t the hill I’m going to die on.
Amen. Pick and choose your battles FTW! 🤜🏽🤛🏽
I do work with a director who curses a lot and always checks with everyone new to the team if they’re ok with it, regardless of gender. Last time someone new joined the team, he said something along the lines of: just want to check if you’re ok with it, because if you’re not, I’ll be careful not to curse. The new person said it was fine and so the director follows up with “well then, fuck that shit.” :)
I don’t get emotional about it
I always respond with “Guys, I don’t give a shit” and it usually corrects the situation quickly. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.
I have yet to find a guy who curses more than I do.
🤮 hate it
Yes! I hate this. They think they’re being respectful but are just being misogynistic
I don't mind cursing in general as long as it isn't directed at someone. For example "fuck this bullshit" vs "fuck you Greg and your bullshit"
SO MUCH. I always mention that they there’s no need to apologize because women also cuss. Not sure it always gets the point across.
I don’t mind the apology whether it’s from a male or female. Quite frankly, I cringe when I hear “anyone” cursing up a storm in a professional or social setting.