{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Anyone else have issues with intimacy afterward a baby? Timeframe/when can there be any sense of a regular intimate life with my wife. (Its been months)\nWould appreciate any advice/experience.", "post_id": "5ec89548d609b4001e050373", "reply_count": 25, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

Anyone else have issues with intimacy afterward a baby? Timeframe/when can there be any sense of a regular intimate life with my wife. (Its been months) Would appreciate any advice/experience.

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Unfortunately, postpartum pelvic floor health is not a priority/not usually something doctors recommend in the US. She could consider seeing a pelvic floor therapist. It takes a LONG time to heal. Plus, she’s in a new body. She might not have the same confidence as before, and time will allow her to gain it back. Right now she needs nothing but support and love and communication. If you can find some dedicated moments, have a loving talk with her and try to see what she’s feeling, and find a way to tell her your feelings.

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Aaand this is why I’m terrified of having kids

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Quick update We had a talk tonight and really opened up about what some of roots of lack of intimacy are. Our son stayed asleep for a few hours so we were able to talk and connect (physically too) We are gonna focus on making more time for each other during the day without the baby (when he sleeps etc) and she understood where I was coming from, I did my best to understand her, obviously I know I cant fully feel how she feels, but we are making steps in the right direction. I love this woman and I love our son and I'm gonna keep that as my focus always. Good vibes and good bless to you all for your insights

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This is great to hear. You guys will be fine.

Sorry bud, that’s part of the deal you get when having kiddos. She stretched out her bod and hormones for 9 months, you can deal and be patient for the 9 month it takes to pull itself back together again.

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Six months to a year is common. Your mileage may vary, obviously. Not unreasonable when you think about the trauma of childbirth. That shit is crazy.

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This isn't true of everyone, but I can't say it ever really got back to the way it was. It's virtually nonexistent now. Postpartum depression, self-image, energy levels, scheduling, stress, and anything else that could get in the way, has. It happens.

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Bruh I’m having the same but no kids—this corona got me wired differently or something 🤷🏽‍♂️

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I understand 8 months is a long time, but it might take longer and you are just going to have to deal with that. Her body has changed, she is sleep deprived, she just brought a baby, YOUR baby, into this world and this will take time. Most likely, every time you have tried, it’s only because you wanted it and she was trying. She is just in another place right now... show even more patience and understanding and she will get there, but it’s difficult to establish a timeline.

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When we had an infant I felt really guilty because the thing I wanted most in the world was to. go. to. sleep. I barely got any sleep for 3 months before baby arrived and even less for the 10 months after baby arrived. Breastfeeding messed with my libido too. If things are still weird at 12 months I’d suggest broaching the idea of going to counseling together. Sometimes it takes an outside party to help you talk about challenging subjects and get on the same page again. We had a round of counseling after our kid was born and it really helped, I only wish we’d gone sooner. You sound like a great husband, hang in there, it will get better!

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Keep this in mind. Be patient, be positive. Get therapy help if needed.

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I would say 4 months earliest. Longer if she’s breastfeeding.

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It can take up to 12 months with some women. Be patient. She brought life into this world.

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Appreciate the responses. I have been patient and obviously what she went through for the baby did have an effect on her. I've been super supportive, we've talked and she said shes ok with it even if we start slow etc but anytime we start it doesnt lead anywhere. I dont know what to do It's been 8 months with no end in sight

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We tried when the baby is 4 months old and lubricate will be your good friend. Be supportive and talk with her

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Just go find outside stimulus.

uplifting

👎

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I think that’s normal.

It’s crazy people are saying waiting along time is normal when there are so many people with “Irish twins”. I’ve worked with people that came back from maternity leave already pregnant again

Depends on how difficult a birth you had and the damage on your body along with how post pregnancy hormones effect your body.

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She’s exhausted I bet.

My kid is 4. It is still not back to normal. No regular intimacy. Good luck.

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